One man's trash
by elementofmimicry
Summary: Carrie is presented to Kane as a peace offering but what ensues is anything but peaceful as they fight both their feeling and their opponents. KaneOC Revamping of an abandoned fanfiction: Damaged goods by liverose
1. No returns

"Babe are you sure this is a good idea?" Lita questioned scratching the back of her head. She was no longer backing their plan, it seemed well and good until the prospect of going through with it became real. "I mean you've seen him angry. Kane is unstoppable when he's angry. If you piss him off with this-"

"Li, don't worry. If he doesn't accept our peace offering then we'll just make a deal with the lesser of two evils." Edge insisted, he was confident in his plan.

"We can't just do that in the first place?"

"Because I don't like deals. This way I don't owe anyone anything. Where's you're faith in me? There is a chance this all works out perfect and everyone leaves happy." Edge kissed her on top of her head.

"This is Kane we're talking about no one leaves happy." Lita retorted flatly shaking her head, maybe Edge didn't understand the big red monster like she did.

_'What the hell do they want, calling me out to the ring. I don't have the time or patience for them. Do they think I live to chase them around.'_ Kane tied his boots, stewing over this huge waste of time. '_We have a present'_ he remember Edge gloating. Kane scoffed as he stood and left the locker room.

"I'm late I'm late for a very important date no time to say hello goodbye I'm late I'm late I'm late!" Carrie slammed Sidney's door shut leaving him and her other two friends in her dust as she ran into the arena.

"Now you may be wondering, 'Hey why would Edge and Lita get me a gift.'" Edge paused for a reaction but Kane only wrinkled his nose. "….Well I'll tell you. We're friendly people Kane, and we like to see people happy." Edge playfully punched Kane in the shoulder, at this Kane walked nose to nose with Edge walking him slowly backwards into the ropes.

"Hurry up." Kane breathed hoarsely into Edge's microphone. Kane was getting ever more impatient, ever more angry, ever more eager to inflict pain.

"…Ok right! See I know why you don't like me. I . . . Well I stole your woman from under your feet." Edge planted a cocky kiss on Lita. Kane was now gritting his teeth. Had they been in a cartoon smoke would be bursting out of his ears.

'_If this is what they brought me out here for there'll be hell to pay.'_

"So I thought I'd lend you a helping hand buddy!" Edge moved his hand to pat Kane on the back but seeing the look in Kane's eyes he recoiled and decided against it. "We searched all over! Far and wide! Amateur wrestling companies across the country! And good news, he found you a girl!" Edge saw what he thought was impossible, more anger rise in Kane. "I mean just a valet. You'll like her promise. Carrie, come on down!" Edge spoke fast and was relieved when her music hit. Kane sourly watched the ramp. The song the hunger boomed through the speakers as she scrambled towards them her face red, she hadn't stopped running since the parking lot. She brushed some of her wavy brown hair out of her eyes as she got closer to the ring. She studded him as she neared, intrigued yet cautious she made her way through the ropes. Carrie gave a million dollar smile and a giddy wave to the monster. Kane cocked his head to one side as he looked at her, but his scowl did not crack.

_'Women equal pain.' _He immediately viewed her as a thorn in his side.

"Sooooo?!" Edge questioned eagerly fingers crossed that things would run smoothly.

" I don't want her!" Kane huffed like an upset child. Carrie's smile turned to a meek and uncomfortable cringe.

"Oh come on give the girl a chance. Take her for a test drive." Edge gave an exaggerated wink.

"Un excuse me." Carrie's eyes popped at the implication. "No one is driving me! not in any sort!" Carrie was grateful that Edge and Lita had chosen her for the job, but not grateful to the point of whoring herself out on their behalf. Kane wanted nothing to do with this situation, without a word he made his way to the ropes.

_'Women equal pain.' _He repeated to himself. He did steal another glance at her, she reminded him of someone. '_Katie?'_ Both pleasant and tragic memories flashed in his brain.

"Like it or not Kane, because I knew you'd make this difficult. For the next two months she's with you. It's in writing" Edge added. Kane stopped let out a frustrated sigh, turned, took Carrie by the wrist and with haste they left.

"Sorry." Carrie muttered as they made their way to Mr. McMahon's office, she didn't know why exactly she was apologizing but she felt compelled to anyway. Kane paused only for a moment. Did he want her to be sorry? It was Edge's fault not hers. She hadn't done anything to him.

'_Yet' _He told himself. Kane just shook his head and continued on. "Sit here." He pointed to a vacant chair outside the office. It was the first time he had spoken to her, she saw a glimmer of hope in the tone of his voice; it didn't sound disgusted by her presence like it had in the ring.

_'Maybe I'm growing on him.'_ She smiled optimistically as she went and sat down. Kane's brow furrowed confused by her happy demeanor. Was she actually excited to be attached to a monster?

"Get me out of this!" Kane growled as whipped the door open and slammed it shut. _'Or maybe not.'_ Carrie rolled her eyes contemplating what she had gotten herself into. Wondering if she had made a mistake accepting the offer in the first place.

"I can't change it Kane. Edge is the champion and he has some sway around here have to keep the champion happy." Vince cringed as Kane's breath grew labored with frustration. "Listen two months will be gone like that." Vince tried to calm Kane just enough for him to leave.

"Two months will be hell!" Kane spat. "Someone is going to pay for this!" Kane's tone grew threatening. He clenched his fists tight, he would gain control of this situation if he had to fight tooth and nail. He would not be a pawn in Edge's idiotic games.

"If you promise to leave my office this is what I can do for you I'll line up a match between you and Edge next week. If you win, I'll cut the time in half just one month." Vince bargained. "That's the best I can do." Kane momentarily relaxed, his knuckles were still tightened but he stepped a few feet back from the desk.

"And what do I do with . . . it" Kane angrily pointed to the door.

"This it has ears asshole!" Carried said loud enough for them to hear. She stood up crossed her arms and left with a huff. _'A month? Why not give me a contract for a long weekend? No one cares about my opinion.'_

"Buy a muzzle?" Vince suggested.

By the time Kane left the office Carrie was long gone. '_She stormed off.' _He stared at the empty chair. He wondered where she'd gone. '_Why do I care? She's out of my hair for a minute at least.'_ For a minute he pictured her blue eyes, not in a gushing loving way, but how they were somewhat haunting, like she was watching him from wherever she was. Kane was growing paranoid. He decided to go back to the hotel; he could avoid her and all the thoughts in his head for the better part of a week. As he went to retrieve his things from the locker room he was met with a surprise. There on the bench was a sleeping Carrie. He walked across the room hoping his oafish form wouldn't wake her as his feet clopped against the floor. Hovering over her he was dazed._ 'Why does she remind me of Katie? Is it her smile? Katie always smiled even at me. She doesn't look like her.'_ He tilted his head. '_Or does she?'_ Kane's memory of his ex lover was hazy, he had tried to burry them deep inside. He gave in to a surprised curiosity, he touched her face as gently as his big mitt could. '_She feels like katie, fragile and soft.'_ He gave a small grin as a good memory flickered past. Was he finding Carrie attractive or just using her image to reminisce of better times? He couldn't tell. Carrie began to wake as she felt something touch her, it felt rough like sandpaper but moved softly as not to agitate her. But as she became fully aware she snapped up not knowing what or who was around her. She felt startled and as she snapped up she wavered and ungracefully fell to the floor face first.

"Ok ow." Carrie rubbed her stinging nose, looking up she saw a perplexed Kane towering above her. "Sorry." She stood dusting herself off as she let out a lingering yawn. "It was a long ride from Oregon and I was really tired. I couldn't find my friends and consequently my ride, honestly I probably don't want to find my friends who knows what they've gotten into but anyway you're the only person i know here kind of-" Carrie rambled.

"What about Edge and Lita?" Kane sneered.

"They're always um you know . . . preoccupied . . .it's like they're battling to suck each other's face off. It's super awkward and kind of creepy so I try to keep my distance." Carrie shuddered. Kane shrugged, he could commiserate with that sentiment.

"Are you scared of me?" Kane asked as if they weren't in the middle of a completely different conversation.

"Yes." She smiled at him.

_'Again with that smile'_ It made Kane oddly uncomfortable, in the sense that it had a small calming effect, and calm was not an emotion in Kane's repertoire.

"But don't take it personal I find most people scary. I guess you could say I have a people phobia." She gave an uneasy laugh. Kane decided in that moment he'd take this whole matter in his own hands; he'd scare her away, all the way back to Oregon, smile and all.

"You're right to be." He used his imposing presence to back her into a wall, he pinned her against it, his paw like hands dug into her shoulders.

"Yeah?" With nowhere to go she had to stand her ground. No one would push her around, not Edge not Mr. McMahon and not Kane.

"People, Carrie, are hell! But there's something worse then people."

"And what's that?" Carrie winced her shoulders began to ache.

"Monsters. They're real Carrie and you're looking at the worst one. It's best to stay OUT OF MY WAY before something bad happens." He loosened his grip only to give her a shove against the wall. The back of her head bounced against the surface like a tennis ball, scrambling her brains she fell to knees. He hadn't meant to push her that hard, he hadn't meant to hurt her; But monsters rarely know their own strength and it's even more rare for them to be able to control it. Carrie just knelt in that position as she rubbed her shoulders, Kane could see red marks where he had squeezed her. He looked down at his hands and then at what they had done. _'Maybe I deserve to get hurt. Get the pain that women cause me. Monsters deserve the punishment they get.' _One of the many negative voices in his head spoke up, his hands rose to his head as he tried to hold it together. _'But this is what I wanted. She's scared now. She'll run for sure.'_ "Carrie I-" Their eyes met and Kane saw something in Carries bewitching eyes that he wasn't expecting. They were hurt, but defiant, and that defiance made his stomach sink._ 'It didn't work'_ he ran a hand over his head and without another word he just left.


	2. Be afraid, be very afraid

"You look worse than usual." Janet chuckled at Carrie as she reunited with her friends. She looked haggard, her nose still swollen, she continued to rub her sore shoulders to add to her look her hair was disheveled clothes wrinkled and her eyes were red, due to continued fatigue.

"Your concern for my well being is astounding as always." Carrie scoffed.

"Well what happened?" Lizzie scanned her friend over, assessing the superficial damage.

"Oh don't tell me you got your ass beat in the ring for the first time and I missed it." Janet's voice had a hint of genuine disappointment.

"Words of wisdom: If a three hundred twenty six pound wrestler ever wants you to be afraid of him . . . do it." Carrie rubbed the back of her head.

"Afraid of him? Carrie I got to say I'm afraid of this guy for you." Sidney chimed in with his two cents. The three friends that had made the long trek with her were now regretting it, worried about Carrie's safety. They had expected her to get bruised up in the ring, she wasn't foreign to taking on as much pain as she delivered during matches; Carrie had hobbled home looking tens of times worse then she did at the current moment but this seemed different. This was not in the spirit of competition this was her getting bullied around.

"It's not his fault. If I was stuck in a room with me I'd push and claw my way out of there too." Carrie pulled at her collar trying to get a better look at her shoulder.

"Goodness." Lizzie's eyes widened she reached out and touched the bruise that was now beginning to form.

"Damn Carrie, he really wanted you to get the hell out of there." Janet stated with an empty chuckle.

"But of course you didn't listen." Sidney sighed. He could tell Carrie wasn't really all that hurt or all that upset but still he'd be keeping an eye on that big red machine. It made Sidney uncomfortable that they had gotten in a fight the very first night. It made him even more uncomfortable that he was all but helpless to defend his friend. "Carrie maybe you're in over your head. I mean what if he snaps like this again and it's worse. This guy could seriously-"

"I'll take my chances. Plus it's only two months . . . or one month more than likely." Carrie rationalized bitterly. "But…" She stuck a finger in the air. "First thing first, I need some rest!" Carrie stated with authority, and punctuated with a yawn, it had been a long and exhausting day.

"we'll drop you off at your hotel before-" Sidney hoped Carrie wouldn't snap at him but his hopes were denied.

"What the hell! You guys aren't staying with me?!" Carrie's voice raised, her day showed no sign of looking up.

"No… We were going to surprise you but . . . Janet _'Entertained' _her way into jobs for us, something to do with sound boards. Making sure micas work and prerecorded stuff plays, shit like that. And it's all hours before any of the real fun starts so we can hang with you while you're working. The crew is staying in a dumpy hotel a little ways away from where the talent stays." Lizzie filled Carrie in on all she had missed.

"Oh" Carrie replied softly. _'They've been busy little beavers behind my back._' She grinned at the prospect at having her three musketeers at her side.

"Hey I don't like the tone of your voice Lizzie. I never said I slept with anyone to get our jobs! You are all just jealous because I am a people person and you three are socially inept." Janet folded her arms, mockingly insulted by the accusation.

"Aw sweated you don't have to_ 'say' _you slept around to get your job. Just know that we know, that you know, what '_people person' _is code for." Carrie joked.

"Still god damn Jealous." Janet mumbled with a smirk as they made their way to the car.

"Um . . . can I help you?" The petite woman behind the front desk ask nervously.

"Kane." The large man casting a shadow over her grunted. He was boiling mad, he had to get away from the root of his anger, away from people. As he looked at the frightened woman, again he saw her._ 'Katie'_ His mind was playing tricks on him, every girl he saw sent a reminder his way._ ' What's going on?_' He gave his head a light shake. Looking again all similarities seemed to have melted away.

"Yes here we are room 497. Sir should we expect Ms. Lories soon or-"

"What?!" He croaked.

"I'll double check but I have your reservation here: Kane, Caroline Lories. one bed, two nights." She red what she had on file.

"I'm sure that weasel is having a big laugh at I bet we have reservations for the next two months. He won't be laughing when I snap his head from his body." Kane spat imagining choking the very life out of Edge.

"Sir is there something wrong?" The woman questioned with caution. Kane grabbed both keys from her hand and stormed off muttering curses to himself.

Carrie and her group walked over to the front desk a far less threatening sight to the still rattled attendant. "Hello" Carrie gave a trademarked wave. "My name is Caroline Lories I should have a room here." She waited patiently for her key. The woman behind the desk let out a gasp and then couldn't help but chuckle. "What?" Carrie felts doubt growing.

"What she mess up this time?" Sidney leaned over the counter craning his neck to try and see the computer screen.

"Oh no everything is in order. Your friend has already checked in but he took your key as well. I don't exactly think he was expecting-"

"wait wait wait. Friend?" She gulped, she knew where this was going.

"So I'm guessing you didn't make these arrangements either? How odd. Well a mister . . . Kane checked in." When no reaction came from Carrie she tried to describe the man. "Very tall . . . pale . . . angry-" She was going to continue but she couldn't be heard over the wave of laughter.

"Shut up!" Carrie snapped at her oh so supportive friends.

"Ha! Carrie you're about to get your freak on with your very own freak!" Janet squealed at Carrie's visible discomfort.

"He's not a freak! And I am not tonight nor any night anytime soon having sex . . . with anyone!" Carrie informed the inhabitants of the lobby.

"Alright, no need to get all testy about it." Sidney put his hands up in surrender. "You can stay with-"

"Maybe I can make you reconsider." A unfamiliar voice chimed in.

"Ew! I . . . I don't even know you creeper! Just Ew who do you people think I am!" Carrie whipped around to see some random liqoured up business man. "Just ew!" She repeated as she shuttered, the man shrugged and moved on not phased by Carrie's intense vocal disgust.

"Can't blame a guy for trying." He slurred. Carrie shuttered one last time before turning back to the desk. "What room?" She sighed drained, completely forgetting the offer Sidney hadn't fully gotten out.

"497 miss. Have a nice stay." The woman stated hesitantly, everyone knew this was to be no vacation.

"Thank you." She dragged her luggage with the last of her energy to the elevator. " Good night lovlies I must bid you adieu." She waved as she entered the door. Her friends waved back as if she was leaving on a cruise.

"I don't have a good feeling about this." Sidney turned to his companions.

"She'll be fine I'm sure. Now lets go . . . buy me food!" Janet tugged on Sidney's sleeve and with that they left, Sidney still staring at the elevator doors, Janet had not quelled his worries.

_'She'll call if she needs help.' _He tried to reassure himself.

He just sat there weighing down the edge of the bed, head resting in his hands, his eyes clenched shut. '_Women equal pain._' He tried to block images of Carrie and Katie from his whirling mind. His mantra was interrupted by a knock on the door. He hoped if he just ignored it she would just go away but he had no such luck. The knocking grew increasingly louder.

"Kane? I know you're in there! You can have the bed to yourself I just want a god damn room to sleep in. Hallways and dark alleys are beneath me." There was a hint of pleading in her voice as she pressed her face against the door. Kane stood but then remained stationary next to the bed.

_'What do I care what she does?' _But a twinge inside of him felt for her, a part of him beckoned to let her in.

"Kane I am really tired, I'm over being nice I'm about to burn this door down if I have to" The knocking did not subside, but the sound stopped as Kane whipped open the door.

"Don't joke about that!" He sneered, venom in his eyes as he blocked the entrance, she was no closer to getting inside then when there was a physical door in front of her.

"I've got five lighters and a deck of gasoline laced playing cards that says I was serious as a heart attack." Carrie nodded with confidence smiling when Kane looked at her with confusing. "Parlor trick . . . and a black hole of a purse, keep loosing my lighter. See I . . . do you ever wear a shirt?" Carrie snickered noticing just as in the arena Kane was currently shirtless.

"Do I disturb you?" He was used to his appearance making people uneasy even physically ill.

"You distract me that's for sure." She put out a hand and placed it on his pectoral. She could feel beneath her palm his heart rate rising, she pulled her hand back. "Sorry I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." She felt embarrassed. Kane just blinked stupefied, it had been a while since anyone had touched him without the intention to inflict pain.

_'Distract her?' _He was baffled by what she meant by that. "Parlor trick? Are you some kind of magician? I HATE magicians or are you some bratty arsonist?" He snorted stepping back returning to his perch on the bed, relenting letting the tired girl in the room.

_'Success!'_ Carried grinned as she entered, slumping in a chair in the corner. "Er not really either. I had wanted to . . . to be in a circus for a while in my high school years I have odd career aspirations I know. I mean I was good at what I did! I used to be able to do all that fancy fire eating stuff. Probably still could, haven't in a while. My schtick was killer though, downright beautiful. I was trying to be a badass be creative and unique I was dumb and stupid but it was fun you know? " She nodded to point out she was done her winded statement, she was happy they were having a real conversation.

_'Is that why they picked her did they think we had something in common? Fire?' _Kane just stared at her blankly for a moment. "Fun?! All fire does is destroy everything in it's path causing destruction and pain! Pain isn't creative, scars aren't beautiful-"

"They can be! Fire is exactly what you said it's dangerous it's unstoppable, wild, colorful mesmerizing." Carrie grew nostalgic, she hadn't really done much with the element since back then in high school. Her dream for circus life had been cut short. Kane's frown deepened repulsed at the way she talked about fire so whimsically.

_'Flames. They ruined my life, took away everything!"_ Nostalgia was not as kind to him, he could feel the pain from years ago. "It can't be real that dumb shtick of yours?" He scoffed. _'She doesn't seem dense enough to play with fire like that. I don't see any scars"_ He scanned what part of her skin he could see, looking for burn marks. Only then he realized how invested in this conversation he had gotten, he tried to suppress it, he crashed backwards into the bed looking up at the ceiling hoping Carrie would take the hint.

"How much of it do you think is real? No matter your answer you'd be right." Carrie would not allow herself to be brushed off so easily.

"What?" He lifted his head just a bit to look at her with confused eyes. Carrie walked over and sat next to him on the bed, cementing the fact that the conversation was not over.

"Everything around us is perception you know? Whatever you think is real, bam it's real. Whatever you think is bullshit is so … well to you at least." Carrie had read one too many philosophy books and it was showing.

"Idiot. Then as far as I'm concerned you're not real." He scoffed at her backwards logic, but he had to admit he liked listening to her talk, her enthusiasm and confidence was endearing even to a monster like Kane.

"Yeah I guess." Carrie pouted feeling the bruise to her ego. "But to me I think I'm real. I think therefore I am you know?"

"If everything is perception then why has my life been hell? Who would want to perceive my life!" Kane flared up for a moment.

"Can't answer that. I mean you can't change what other people do with their reality, but how it effects you, that's where the perception comes in. Maybe you hold onto this pain because you feel that you should? That you deserve it? I mean I think thats bull but-"

"Don't try to act like you know me! You know nothing about m!" Kane sat up._ 'What does she know about what I deserve? How does she know what my pain is like?'_

"I don't know a lot about you but I mean from what I do. . . like when you had your panic attack earlier-"

"Panic attack?" Kane had nothing to panic about he was seven feet of muscle, he was top of the food chain.

"Today in the locker room when you went and got all dark and spooky, I could see veins pulsing you're adrenaline was on high kind of seemed like a panic attack to me. But to me that seems like you-"

"You think I'm crazy." Kane snorted. "Talking to me like some kind of head doctor."

"I didn't mean for it to come out that way and plus like waiting for Godot says : We're all born mad, whose to say it doesn't stay with all of us one way or another." Carrie shrugged as though it was a compliment.

"Godot?" Kane shook his head. '_Weird girl'_ "I wanted to scare you." He admitted, trying to prove he was in control of himself not a nutcase having panic attacks_. 'Who am I fooling.'_ Kane's head began to hurt between the riddles Carrie was speaking in and how hard he was trying to ignore the conversation as a whole with no luck, she kept reeling him in.

"It worked." Carrie nodded._ 'If it makes these months easier on him I guess I can be afraid. I haven't made any progress. Maybe I should admit defeat. He really wants nothing to do with me.' _"Well goodnight." Carrie got off the bed and laid down on the floor resting her head on her luggage.

_'What just happened?' _Kane leaned over the edge of the bed looking down at the girl curled in a fetal position. _'She didn't let me finish. I wanted to scare her but I . . . I'm sorry that I hurt her. And now she's angry with me?'_ Kane groaned _'Women equal pain. This is what I want, I want her to leave me alone.' _He laid back down stiff as a board, not soon after he could hear her snore. _'She really was tired.'_ Kane on the other hand couldn't get to sleep, he tossed and turned. Finally he got out of the bed and stood over Carrie. '_Ugh so vulnerable, idiot.'_ He thought she looked so fragile cacooned under a peacoat she had pulled over her. He felt compelled to aid the compliant girl. '_Why?'_ He clenched his fists and let out a sigh. Bending down he lifted her cradling her in his big arms, careful not to wake her he placed her on the bed. Not sure what to do next he paced the floor. He was tired too and wanted to sleep on the bed but so close to her? _'Not going to let her inconvenience me.' _He moved around to the other side of the bed, it creaked as he laid down as far away from Carrie as he could. '_She can't hurt me in her sleep' _He rationalized. Closing his eyes exhausted sleep quickly came over him.

"Kane you're driving too fast." Katie gave a drunken laugh.

"I . . .I got it." the wheel swerved in his grasp.

"Slow down please!" Katie leaned over and kissed Kane on the shoulder. He lifted his arm and pulled Katie against his chest kissing her on the top of her head. He now only had one loose hand on the wheel. She was so warm, she was always warm like a walking fireplace. He saw her smile up at him. It amazed him that she didn't look at his masked face in fear and disgust. She was one of a kind, no one could ever compare to her love for him. He had gotten distracted by his girlfriend and by the time he noticed they were swerving out of control it was too late.

"Kane!" Katie let out a high pitched screech. He couldn't get control, their speed was too great they began to careen off the road. "Kane!" She screamed again clinging to him tight.

"Katie it'll be alright" He squeezed her to him as they braced for impact. They collided hard into a group of trees. For five or so minutes there was no movement from the vehicle but eventually the sound of creaking metal could be heard in the dead of night. Kane was heaving all his weight to push the door open that had wrinkled inward. Eventually he muscled his way out. He was certain he had broken his one arm, an ankle and an assortment of bones in his face. "Katie?!" Kane reached in the wreck with his one good arm. "Katie?!" he finally grabbed her and pulled her from the mangled mess. "Katie?!" He called out her name a third time as he gingerly laid her on the ground she was limp and unresponsive. "Open your eyes, say something!" He shook her but nothing happened. He realized that she was no longer warm, she was uncharacteristically cold.

"Kane?" Her eyes fluttered open.

"You're alive!" He lifted her up and held her close to him.

"Kane." She began to cough and sputter there was blood coming up. "I . . . I'm . . . Bleeding-" She grew paler still, growing colder, they both looked at her abdomen, her shirt was stained a damp maroon color.

"Just hold on Katie I'll get you to a hospital." He lifted her over his shoulder, limping his way back to the road.

"Kane." Katie murmured weakly, her head bobbing with each of Kane's uneven steps. "Kane just stop!" She coughed some more.

"This is all my fault." He didn't listen to her and continued to walk towards the road. He cursed himself as the pain coursed through his body with all his strength he couldn't protect the one person he cared about, he knew she was dying, her liver had been pierced by shrapnel but he wouldn't give up on her he wouldn't let her go.

"It's alright." She whispered. "I forgive you." Katie smiled weakly. "Kane I love you. And I'm sorry." Those words stopped him in his tracks, he could hear the death rattle in her voice she had moments left they both knew it.

"What are you sorry for. Katie I killed you!" They reached the road but there were no cars to be seen.

"I killed you too Kane. This . . . this is killing you. I don't want to leave you all alone again." She gasped for breath as she was laid down on the pavement. "But you'll be ok you'll get past this promise?"

"No. I should have known . . . I'm a monster I was bound to hurt you. I should have left you alone. All I do is-"

"Kane I can't . . . I can't breath!" She was choking on her own blood.

"Kane! Kane! Wake up! Move your arm I can't breath!" Carrie was flailing like a fish out of water, Kane had rolled over in his sleep his arm landed across Carries throat. Kane woke up from his dream in a panic, drenched is sweat.

"Katie!" He shouted at the top of his lungs coming to his senses he quickly removed his arm. Carrie say up gulping in as much air as possible.

"Who?" She massaged her throat as she spoke.

"Non of your business." Kane rubbed some sweat from his forehead. He didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to think about it, he wanted it to just go away.

"Oh" Carrie nodded awkwardly. "Ok." She collapsed back down on the bed she pulled the covers over her and closed her eyes.

"How can you possibly go back to sleep?"

"Why? what time is it? Is the continental breakfast open? I'm mad craving some waffles." She yawned.

"Why? I nearly killed you." Kane couldn't believe how quickly she had shrugged it off.

"Nearly being the operative word. What are the odds it will happen again so soon?"

"What is wrong with you?" He yanked the covers off of her. "What do I have to do to scare you?! If you don't look out for yourself who will? no one can protect you from me! You'll turn out just like everyone else who gets close, you'll get burned!"

"I heard you the first thousand times!" Carrie stood out of bed. "I'm trying my damnedest alright? I'll be scared of you! I'm sorry! I just wanted you to like me that's all." Carrie was putting on her socks and shoes.

"Because you want me to throw the match." Kane felt like it had dawned on him.

"What?!"

"You think I'm some moron, you just want me to like you enough to lose next week on purpose so you're contract doesn't get shortened."

"You've got one thing right I think you're a moron!" She snapped open the door.

"Where are you going?" Kane questioned as everything blew out of control.

"I'm running away scared just like you want! I'm going to get some waffles asshole!" She slammed the door behind her. Kane rubbed his temples had he gotten it wrong? Did she not have ulterior motives? '_Perception' _He thought of the conversation they had the previous night. _'Is that why I'm seeing Katie? I'm perceiving the connection between her and Carrie? But why?_' He needed some air, he left the room in the direction of the lobby. He was about to leave when he saw in the dining area someone give Carrie a shove.

"Hey newbie learn your place! It's not cool to not respect seniority!" Carlito pushed Carrie back a few steps nudging himself in line. Carrie bit her lip keeping her eye on the prize, staring down the waffles inches away like they owed her money. Carlito noticed her fixed gaze and simply picked up the plate, walking down the line.

"You're going to eat all 13 of those waffles?!" Carrie was already aggravated, her fuse was short.

"I'm a growing boy! Do you want one?" He held out the tray. Carrie went to grab one but Carlito slapped her hand. "No magic words? How rude of you." Carlito smirked watching Carrie's ears turn red in anger.

"Please may I have a waffle?" She questioned through grinding teeth.

"No I don't think so!" He turned around to walk away victorious but was blocked by a human wall, he was eye to chest with Kane. "I . . . hey big guy." He gave a nervous wave.

"What was that I heard. About learning you place? You should know yours by now. Or is that a lesson I need to reteach you?" Kane advanced even closer to the quivering man.

"Waffle?" Carlito held the plate up almost as a shield. Kane yanked the plate from his hands, the plate was then passed to Carrie. "Apologize." He pointed at the girl drooling over her newly acquired breakfast food.

"What? But she's just a ring rat you know that Kane don't be fooled and that's not-"

"Maybe you didn't hear me." He took Carlito by the collar. "Apologize. I won't ask again. And if I hear you talk to her like that ever, I'll put you in your place. Hell I may bury you there."

"Sorry my bad!" Carlito turned best he could to Carrie. "I didn't mean to call you a ring rat I'm sure your an upstanding girl, plain, nothing out of the ordinary."

"You need to learn when to shut up." Kane tossed Carlito to the ground like a sack of potatoes and walked off. Carrie followed behind.

"Thanks for that." She was still mad at Kane but he had come to her rescue and that deserved praise.

"I don't like him." Kane shrugged.

"I can see that." Carrie laughed and even got a small smile out of Kane.

"So I figured maybe we could aim lower."

"Huh?"

"Maybe I was asking too much of you to like me. You're not the first and won't be the last person not to like me. Sometimes I forget that my personality is . . . um what did they say . . . er abrasive, obnoxious annoying that I'm a freak who-"

"Who said that? Someone here?" Kane scanned the room.

"Not my point." She ignored the question. "My point is I'm not your cup of tea I get it. Does that sting a little yeah but we can get past this. Like I said aim lower I'm not asking you to like me. Just . . . tolerate my presence. Doable?"

"You want me to tolerate your presence?" Kane repeated her request. '_She doesn't think very highly of herself that she would settle for that.'_ He frowned._ 'She's still smiling though.' _He could tell this smile was hollow, he knew when someone was hiding behind a mask.

"Yeah. Like do you think you could bear sitting with me and sharing 13 waffles I mean you earned them and I doubt I could eat more then . . .seven or so."

"Fine" he shrugged.

"Yes!" She shouted triumphantly and gave Kane a one armed hug. Kane out of reflex recoiled. For a moment Carrie's smile wavered but it was quick on the rebound.

_'What is she hiding?' _Kane wasn't sure how he felt about this enigma of a girl, he knew she had grown on him ever so slightly. But he didn't know if that's what he wanted or worse yet if it was a trap.

"Eat! eat!" Carrie demanded her cheeks filled to excess with waffles. Kane laughed for the first time in a while he genuinely laughed. He allowed himself to enjoy the moment, he would cross the betrayal bridge when he got to it.


	3. lifted off the ground

"So tell me, why do you have to go out there? You're not part of the match" Lizzie asked as they neared the stage. She didn't pretend to know much of anything about the whole wrestling business. A week had passed and not much had been explained about Carrie's role.

"Because that's actually my whole job. As of now my sole purpose is to cheer on Kane and to the best of my ability make sure his opponent fights fair." Carrie shrugged off feelings of self doubt replacing them with encouragement trying to convince herself she wasn't in over her head, that she could do it, that she could be useful.

"Kane has you to cheer him on? Oh he's screwed, most completely screwed." Sidney smirked.

"Hey I-" As they rounded a corner a large palm grabbed her shoulder. "Kane." Carrie turned, looking upwards to see his towel topped head. Kane's large frame loomed above them. She had to tilt her head back to see his stoic face. The simple broadness of the man made her shiver.

"Carrie, don't come to the ring tonight." He stated coldly.

"What? I know you don't like me, but give me a-"

"I don't . . ." He took a moment, breathing deeply, controlling everything stewing under his surface. '_I don't not like you. I hate myself for it but I do . . . I'm beginning to more than tolerate you. I . . . can't tell her that. I won't be weak; I can't let her get to me. Women equals pain.' _He fought a war against himself, his face contorted in confusion and anger. "I don't need distractions." _'What if she helps Edge? He did bring her here. I'd swallow shards of glass before I see that happen to me again. What if Edge hurts her? What if I hurt her? Women make things so complicated.' It used to be so simple walk out crack skulls and leave.'_

"I can carry my weight. Trust me-"

"I don't trust anyone." Kane, every free moment couldn't help but relive the times when he let his trust be misused. The memories flashed before his eyes, he winced slightly as he fought to shrug them away.

"Well I can't make you trust me, but I'm not asking you if I can be outside that ring tonight. I'm telling you." Carrie punched Kane in the shoulder.

"Is that right?" Kane laughed in his own demented way.

"You bet your black boots it's right." She grinned as Kane seemed to give in. The two of them walked the rest of the way to the curtain.

"You look scared." Kane glanced over to Carrie who was biting her lip as the ring came into focus.

"Just some stuff on my mind." She shook her head as to wake herself up. "All surprised." She gave him a wink as she hoped into the ring. Kane just shook his head.

_'Odd ball'_ He climbed over the rope after her.

"Should we be making out?" Carrie asked nonchalantly.

"WHAT?" Kane almost choked on his tongue getting that word out. Carrie wasn't even looking at him; Her head was tilted slightly to the right gawking at the unsanitary display of affection that was taking place in front of her.

"I was kidding. Don't worry I'd never touch you in an unprofessional way" She put her hands up in defense. Kane grimaced, he remembered how her skin felt when he had touched it, he had been feeling urges to touch her again. "_Idiot you're a monster a creature what would I have to offer her.'_

"Good." Kane moved in Edge's direction, he wouldn't let Edge have the happiness that he himself would always be deprived of.

"Woh Woh Woh, this is the thanks I get for all my troubles? Can you say ungrateful? Or is it jealousy? I mean Carries a plain Jane compared to the minx Lita is. No offense, you have a stellar personality." Edge chuckled at Carrie, whose face had soured. Kane stood in front of Carrie in a protective stance.

_'Who is he to say anything about her. Everyone thinks they're so high and mighty I'll knock him down a peg'_

"So I'd be jealous too if I were you. But as the facts have it I'm not, and I really don't care how you spend your alone time. Anyway I have more important things to do so lets get your beat down over with." Edge had a sleazy grin plastered on his face.

"Get out of the ring" Kane kept his eyes on Edge as he spoke to Carrie.

"You got it partner." Carrie snuck in a little hug that Kane seemed to veimently disapprove of, she could feel his body tense under her arms and she quickly detached.

_'That skin.' _He felt a surge of what could be described as lust pulse through him, but he tossed it away deciding to linger on the more comfortable emotion of anger.

"Sorry." And with a hop skip and a jump she was out of the ring. Meeting up in the center of the square circle Kane and Edge locked, Kane's brute strength prevailed and he shoved Edge into the mat full force. Lita was incessantly loud, screaming and clapping as the match unfolded but Carrie was surprisingly quiet studying the match contently; smiling when Kane had the upper hand and holding her breath when he was getting beaten down. She was chewing hard on her bottom lip the majority of the bout.

"I know you're new to crowds like this and You're scared of the guy, but still try to be supportive. This is your tryouts for the big leagues." Lita advised with a sneer as she circled the ring feeling Carrie was throwing away a golden opportunity.

"I am" Carrie replied her eyes glued to each blow.

"You're not doing anything." Lita scoffed.

"Exactly." '_Kane isn't used to fans cheering for him, let alone a spastic girl just feet away. He needs to stay focused. I'll prove my worth I just have to bide my time.'_

"I'll show you what support is." Lita took notice to the incapacitate ref that had accidentally been tackled into the turnbuckle by Kane. Edge had delivered a low blow to and once the monster was down on one knee Edge kicked feverishly at his ribs and crashed elbows into his skull. Lita slid the champion belt through the ropes to Edge, Kane was in serious trouble.

_'Nows my chance to prove I'm not a waste of space.'_ Carrie scurried beneath the ropes with Lita on her coattails. With no time to think of a better plan Carrie put herself between Edge and the winded Kane her arms and legs spread to conceal the huge man. Edge had the title in both hands lifted over his head he had been ready to crash down that belt into Kane's mellon, he paused once there was an obstacle in the way. Edge and Lita looked at one another but the moment Edge saw Kane begin to stir there was no going back. Carrie got served a face full of champion gold. She in one motion crumpled to the floor like a marionette with it's strings cut. Kane had been catching his breath trying to muster back up the energy that Edge had been chopping away at. He hadn't seen Carrie's sacrifice and wouldn't have been much help had he. As he stood the picture became clear. Kane stared down at Carrie's motionless body splayed out on the mat her auburn hair was dampened by a small leak of crimson. The boiling hot blood that streamed through his veins turned ice cold, the remnants of sanity he possessed fled from him. His eyes were glossed over with a sheen of pure madness and rage.

_'How could she be so god damn stupid! I told her to stay away. She's knocked out cold. What possessed her to do this?'_ He could see the pain lingering from what had been her last conscious moment. She looked like she was sleeping, and having a terrible nightmare. _'She did this for me? Sacrificed that thick head of hers for me?'_ He was so perplexed by the situation but he was determined to regain control; He turned his attention to Edge.

"See you two do have something in common. You're pros at getting slammed in the head." Edge knocked his fist to his skull.

"Babe shhh!" Lita snapped as she was escorted out of the ring by the ref. She couldn't understand why Edge would taunt a noticeably enraged red machine. Kane charged a few paces and grabbed edge by the throat, lifting him to the highest elevation he could, he watched Edge's long legs flail in the air before slamming him to the mat, the impact sounded like booming thunder. Kane proceeded to press his big boot against Edge's windpipe watching as he tried with no avail to pry himself free. Kane was getting a twisted rush from watching Edge writhe in pain. _'I want you to feel it the desperation and agony I feel every day. I want you to lose all hope!'_ He was distracted from that moment of enjoyment by the sounds of groaning in the corner, he released Edge losing all intreats in the injured man. Carrie was grumbling incoherently as she began to regain consciousness. Kane stood over her watching as she moved ever so slightly. He glanced back at Edge to make sure he wouldn't be foolish enough to attack again, but both Edge and Lita were scrambling up the ramp by that point. Kane then lifted Carrie up cradling her tightly to his chest.

"Kane" The word was slow and groggy her eyes barely open. Kane didn't answer only held her tighter. "Did you win?" Her head rested itself in the spot between Kane's arm and his chest; He cringed when he felt her slick blood smear against him. Again there was no real response, there had been no winner in that match but Kane was definitely on the wining end before it tapered off.

"I won't let 'em do it again Carrie. You're safe." He swore to Carrie and himself that as long as she was attached to him not a hair on her head was to be marred, he felt he owed that to her. He knew the words were lost on Carrie as she either fell asleep of slid back into a state of unconsciousness in his arms. He carried her in the direction of the arena medic but before he got to the door he was spotted.

"Carrie!" Lizzie called out, she Sidney and Janet had been frantically searching for Carrie since Kane had carried her out of camera view.

"She's hurt." Kane stated angrily as they entered the room.

"We'll take her from here" An EMT tried to take Carrie from Kane's hold but Kane recoiled, he didn't want to let her go, he felt she was safest in his arms everyone else was a liability. Glaring at the EMT Kane finally placed her down on a stretcher. Without another word Kane walked out.

_'You big idiot don't hold her don't help her! Damn it no emotions you have no emotions. That's the only way you don't feel pain.'_ Both of his hands moved to the back of his neck massaging the tense muscles and bundled nerves. _'Stupid urges! Women equal p-'_ A sound that pierced through his eardrums paused that thought. He stopped dead in his tracks; he had heard a blood curdling scream come from the section he had just left, one of those pesky urges this one of the protective variety compelled him to storm back to Carrie's side. Swinging the door open he saw Carrie sitting up straight her eyes bugging out of her skull as she hyperventilated she was clutching her chest. "What did you do her?" Kane boxed the EMT into a corner.

"I . . . Nothing she's just becoming coherent she shouldn't have been moved she'll compose herself in a minute I swear!" The smaller man quivered.

"Carrie calm down before Kane kills someone!" Janet gave Carrie a strong shake but stopped when she saw tears welling up in the corner of Carrie's eyes.

"Get out! Get him out! Nathan get out of this room!" Carrie screamed frantically.

"Nathan the only thing holding me back from pummeling you into a puddle on the floor is that you'd have to be scooped up and put on that table next to her." Kane took the man by the collar and lifted him a solid three feet off the ground. "Now I suggest you leave and send someone else in NOW!" Kane butted his forehead against his captive before dropping him abruptly.

"But my name isn't even-"

"NOW!" Kane boomed again moving himself between Carrie and the huddled man.

"You should probably listen." Sidney suggested and not Nathan nodded scurrying out. Kane backed away from the table and headed to the door opening it he scanned the perimeter for the EMT.

"My head is spinning." Carrie wiped away her tears and held her palms to her temple as she appeared to come to terms with her surroundings. "I think I'm going to be sick!" She pulled down her hand to cover her mouth, but it was no use, she turned her head to the side lurching over she hurled.

"Maybe she's pregnant." Janet shrugged.

"What?!" Was the collective word on everyones lips.

"Fucking hysterical mood swings. Vomiting. Just spitballing here." Janet laughed at the group's reaction. Kane didn't close the door behind him as he walked off.

_'Is this where the flashbacks are coming from? Do I need to protect her better than I did Katie."_ He stopped and gazed up at the ceiling. _'No she's nothing. Nothing but a nuisance. Women equal pain I have to stop this._' Kane punched a wall, the pain signaling through his fist felt soothing, it took his mind off of her if only for a moment. _'I don't need anyone! I don't need her!' _He punched the wall again. "Damn it!" His voice echoed through the halls as he realized the words he was forcing through his mind didn't seem to hit home. _'Don't fall for this again!' _He coaxed himself back into his emotionless shell. '_You're a monster not a man. The monster never keeps the girl for long.'_ He let out an exasperated sigh and continued to walk.

"I look like a whore!" Carrie looked down at herself, she was wearing what was barely enough to call clothes, she had to borrow something from the Diva's locker room, her previous garments had been splashed with puke. A glorified silver sequined tank top pawning itself off as a dress was the best she could do.

"It's not so bad. I mean yeah . . . you do look like a whore . . . but a real classy money making whore, pretty woman pay grade." Sidney laughed. Carrie's embarrassment and disapproval turned to anger when she felt a hand where it did not belong.

"Janet I'm in no mood get your hand off my-" Carrie was rubbing her bandaged forehead.

"Not me I didn't go there!" Janet announced. Carrie spun around coming face to face with one of the many wrestlers meandering around.

"Who the hell are you?" Carrie stated bluntly, she wasn't kidding she had no patience or sense of consequence in the moment.

"Introductions, very important indeed. But I'm surprised I'm the one who needs one. Matt striker." He straitened himself up to seem superior. "How are you today?" He smirked knowing darn well that this had not been a good night for Carrie.

"Fine and god damn dandy till you groped me." Carrie snapped, she was loosing her cool.

"Tsk tsp tsp did your parents not teach you manners. Don't take that tone with me." He wagged a condescending finger at her.

"Or what?" Carrie scoffed with the adrenaline pumping through her, she was beginning to see nothing but red.

"Simple. I'll have to teach you a lesson. Nothing too drastic, a stern spanking will do."

"That's it!" Carrie attempted to slap him but Sidney yanked her away at the last minute, her hand still perched in the air. "Sidney let the fuck go of me! I'm not going to let this asshole talk to me like that!" Carrie broke free from Sidney's hold only to be snatched on either side by Janet and Lizzie.

"What foul language. You must have been quite the troublemaker in school." Striker continued to taunt her.

"Ok Ok you can unleash your wrath, just when we're not around. Cause I don't want to get my ass kicked and that's where I see this going." Sidney tried to talk some sense into Carrie as they struggled to drag her away.

_'I need to get the hell out of here.'_ Kane was feeling claustrophobic as he packed up his things. He just wanted to get back to his dark, quiet, empty hotel room. He began to walk to the garage but was paused by a blur zooming through the hall. "Carrie?" He could barely make out the girl dressed so out of character. It was almost comical, she was running like a chicken with it's head cut off, weaving through the backstage traffic.

"Can't talk now, gotta run." Carrie panted as she tried to run past him, but with little effort he grabbed her by her shoulders and lifted her, forcing her forward motion to end. He stared at her with an annoyed and puzzled look on his face. "Oooor not. So . . . what have you been up to?" She slowly caught her breath.

"Carrie this is no time to be batting eyelashes at your man crush come on! You just had to slap him didn't you?" Janet plowed by.

"What did you get into now?" Kane frowned. '_How many of her messes do I have to clean up?'_

"Um it's all Janet's fault you see. She picked this out, dressed me like a whore and-" She was overcome by silence as to her surprise Kane put her back on her feet. He took her by the wrist and walked her to the dressing room. _'Who knows what those animals have been thinking about her. Gawking and drooling.'_ His frown deepened knowing what his coworkers did and said while off the clock. He'd surely knock out a handful of them on the spot if they said a word. _'She's not meat.'_ "Here." He handed her a pair of sweatpants. "Go in the bathroom and change before you flash someone." Even though he had chastised others on the off chance they did so Kane couldn't help but stare as she walked away._ 'That skin.' _ It continued to bewitch him, his hand started to rise as to reach out and touch her but his other hand clasped it tight and pushed it down. Carrie couldn't help but laugh as she turned in a circle looking at herself in the mirror. Kane walked up to the door. "What's so funny?" _'What did I do? Did she see me look at her?'_ He concluded that she was laughing at his expense. _'I hate that. I hate when people laugh at me. She's an idiot if she thinks she can get away with-'_

"They're huge!" Carrie pulled the oversized pants all the way up under her arms before walking out the door. "How do I look?" Carrie barely got the words out as she continued to laugh.

"Like an idiot." He stated flatly but a small smile lurched onto his face. _'What a silly girl.'_

"if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck then it's probably an idiot!" Carrie did not hold back her cheshire grin, she was cheering up brushing off her previous misfortune.

"Come on." He pulled her pants down to where they belonged._ 'They are huge on her.' _You could barely make out Carrie's legs which were currently swimming in cotton.

"Where are we going?" She asked hesitantly as Kane opened the door for her.

"Back to the hotel. Before you slap someone else." Kane rolled his eyes. _'At this rate I'll fight the whole roster on her behalf.'_ "You're more trouble then you're worth." He hadn't meant that statement to sound so harsh but he could see it stung her. Carrie's smile dwindled but she refused to let it go.

_'Never let them see you frown.'_ She tried to rekindle her expression.

"Stop doing that." Kane demanded as they walked.

"What?"

"Smiling like that!"

"I'm not allowed to smile?"

"Not like that."

"Like what?" She looked down her nose trying to see her lips.

"Like . . . nevermind forget it." He shook his head._ 'Like it's all your good for. No one can be happy all the time, not even you Carrie and it pisses the shit out of me when you try and pretend like that. Do you think I can't tell?'_ "Your face will get stuck that way if you keep making stupid faces." Kane shrugged. _'Don't smile all the time. Just when you mean it idiot.'_

Driving in the car had been a silent and somewhat awkward ride till an impromptu boost in Carrie's confidence stirred her into action. "Kane?"

"Hmm?" Kane didn't take his eyes off the road, his profile being highlighted by the street lights. Carrie prepared herself for Kane to recoil but went through with it anyway, she leaned to her side and rested her head on his shoulder. "Does your head still hurt?" For a moment he looked at her, his eyes though as aggressive as ever had a faint tint of inquisitiveness and intreats. He felt her nuzzle slightly, her curly hair tickling his skin. She looked up at him with her doey blue eyes, absent of fear and disgust. He took a deep tense breath as he refocused on the road.

"Um not to much. Just a little sore." She paused, choosing what to say next. "You can trust me you know." She continued to stare at him, she was right against him but he seemed miles away behind wall after double enforced wall. He sped up wanting to get back to the hotel, wanting to get some space between them before he did or said something he'd regret.

"Maybe." He replied after a solid ten minutes of silence. He pulled into a parking spot and again looked down at her. It wasn't there anymore, he didn't see Katie anymore, only Carrie. '_What is going on inside my head?!'_

"I'll take maybe." She sat up and they got out of the car, no more words were exchanged on the topic.


	4. Apples and showers

"Carrie?! Carrie IHOP won't wait forever I think this one closes! It's like eleven o clock" Sidney knocked on the door, it was closed improperly and cracked open slightly.

"Erie yet inciting . . . lets go!" Janet welcomed herself inside. It appeared abandoned but the shower was running.

"Carrie? Kane?" Sidney called out for any sign of life. "She snoozes she loses that's what I say, leaves some waffles for the rest of us." He sighed as they crept through the room.

"Janet don't!" Lizzie could see the mischievous look in her friend's eyes.

"What?" Janet scoffed, playing dumb as she inched closer to the bathroom door.

"Do you remember the last time you walked in on Carrie in the shower?" Sidney tried to remind her.

"Two trips to Home Depo well worth it we both learned how to spackle! She'll get over it." Janet stood in front of the shower curtain and with one foul sweep she yanked it aside. "Boo! Oh shit! run, women and children first run!" Janet came jumping from the bathroom like a gazelle, a look of sheer terror in her usually calm chestnut eyes.

"I told her not to . . . Oh shit. Oh shit! Janet how could you mess that up?!" Lizzie laughed and gasped at the same time. The three friends ran Scooby Doo style into the hallway. After a short head start Kane was chasing after them, holding up the waistband to pants he had barely pulled on before beginning the hunt.

"Fuck we're dead! You'd think you'd notice the difference between those two!" Sidney yelled as they took a sharp turn.

"I did notice the difference! But by then it was too late." Janet snapped back.

"Guys less arguing more running! He's catching up, he's angry and we're running in circles." Lizze shouted from the front of the pack.

"I say we B-line it back to the room and try to lock him out." Janet panted, running out of steam.

"Oh good, great idea Janet, piss him off more. He's a human bulldozer a door isn't going to stop him!" Sidney scoffed.

"Well big shot what's your hail mary plan?" Janet gave Sidney a hefty shove.

"Carrie's room it is!" Sidney relented when nothing better came to mind. They ran faster as they heard Kane's footsteps gaining on them. Kane's embarrassment and anger levels were off the charts. He didn't care who they were, he had all intentions of making them pay.

_'What the hell were they thinking? Can't people just understand . . . can't people just leave me alone!' _He could not comprehend the playful nature of Janet's jokes. in his mind they were just like everyone else, taunting him.

"I can't seem to face up to the facts. I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax. I can't sleep cause my bed's on fire. Don't touch me I'm a real live wire. Psycho Killer Quest que cest-" Carrie removed her ear buds "Hey Janet Lizzie I thought we-"

"Kill her not me she's got nothing to live for!" Janet held Carrie in front of her as human shield cowering behind her when the door nearly flew off the hinges. Kane's face was red with anger as looked for his first victim.

"I leave to get skittles from the vending machine, comeback to any empty hotel room, four minutes later you three run in here screaming like idiots and You come in here half naked looking for blood. What the hell happened?" Carrie spun around to Janet. "And I have plenty to live for thank you very much!"

"Get. Them. Out of here!" Kane huffed angrily, restraint was not Kane's strong suit, and it was showing.

"Not till someone tells me what's going on." Carrie insisted. Kane just sat, parked in the chair farthest from the group and stewed in malice, trying hard to control every impulse to punch one of Carrie's miserable friends in the face.

"Remember that time Janet stormed in on your shower" Sidney couldn't help but feel like he had reminisced about the incident too many times for one night.

"Long story short I thought Kane was you and-" Janet sighed. Carrie fell to the floor laughing, rolling to her side she could see Kane's frown deepen, his fists clenched.

"I'm not laughing at you Kane." The statement was all but ignored by Kane as he turned his head to look out the window.

_'I can't take much more of this.'_ His hands clenched harder, his nails digging into his palms.

"I'm laughing at you!" Carrie pointed at Janet. "Serves you right getting all up in people's business!" Carrie's laughter eventually fizzled. "Who should be more offended? Me or Kane cause obviously this shows you don't know us all that well or at least not our outlines."

"Kane" Janet answered with no hesitation.

"Rhetorical question." Carrie tried to assert before Sidney chimed in. '

"Definitely Kane. Any day someone gets mistaken for all that it must be a real bad hair day for them." Sidney waved his palms in front of Carrie symbolizing '_all that.'_ Kane stood up from his seat walked over to Sidney and punched him square in the nose, Sidney fell to his knees holding it as if it was in danger of falling off.

"Sidney!" The three girls ran to his side.

"Fuck! I think it's broken." Sidney tried to hold back manly tears.

"What the hell was that for? He didn't peep on you I did! Just because you won't hit girls-" Janet turned and stood to face Kane

"I never said I won't hit women." Kane replied bluntly. "And I never said that was for the shower."

"Then what was it for?" Sidney croaked.

"You don't seem to understand." Kane again walked over to Sidney this time lifting him by the collar.

"Kane let him go!" Carrie tried to tug at his arm to release Sidney but it was no use.

"I don't need a reason." Kane paused watching Sidney squirm. "To do what I want when I want. You've all just been provoking the monster! What's worse than a monster? I'll tell you; a caged monster. Everywhere I turn there you are, following Carrie around like she's some mother hen. She's protected you this long but your time has run out. All the shouting all the mocking all the indifference you show-"

"This isn't about you, this is about Carrie isn't it?" Sidney stopped flailing and questioned the big man's motives. "Cause she wouldn't want you to pummel me. Carrie tell him you don't want him to pummel me!" He turned to his friend for help.

"Kane I-"

"There you go again, not listening. If you shut your mouth for ten seconds maybe you'd hear me. I said I do what I want, when I want, I'm not on a leash at her command. And even now you're using her, helpless without her. Do you ever think of anyone other than yourself?" Kane was fuming.

"Well right now Carrie isn't the one hoisted in the air with a broken nose." Sidney stated the obvious. "But if she was, I'd do everything I could to rescue her. She knows that."

"He's right. They were just joking around Kane it may have-"

"Joking around? No they are laughing at you everyone is laughing at you! And I've been siting back as long as I could for you to stand up for yourself, but I can't stand it anymore!" Kane knew what it was like to be laughed at, teased and tormented, even by people that were thought to be friends.

"Kane it's not like-"

"He's right. Hate to say it but he's right . . . really hate to say it." Sidney sniffled his sore nose.

"You have all just been laughing at me this whole time?"

_'It's gone.' _Kane noted that there was not even a half assed smile on Carrie's face.

"Speak for yourself Sidney! Kane must have scrambled your brain." Lizze frantically shook her head. '_Attachments always hurt in the end Carrie, the sooner you learn that the better.'_

"No we weren't laughing, but we never really helped you. We thought you could stand up for yourself." Sidney sighed. "And you did . . . er you do! Matt Striker for instance and-"

"Striker?" Kane let go of Sidney who fell with no grace to the floor.

"But we didn't really have your back like you had ours, maybe we did use you." Sidney sat up looking at Carrie for forgiveness.

"It's back." Kane stated flatly.

"What's back?" Sidney asked confused. "Maybe I am scrambled."

"That face." Kane pointed at the empty smile hanging on Carrie's mug.

"what are you talking about it's been here the whole time. But Sidney don't sweat the small stuff-" Carried grinned reassuringly.

"But I-" Sidney tried to interrupt.

"I mean yeah maybe when we were younger you guys took a laid back approach to our friendship." All three of her friends had eyes matching that of a scolded dog. "But I mean for one I got more independent because of it. And two we were young and stupid. You guys weren't the only ones; I thought I could handle everything by myself. I was a one woman army taking on the world! But we've grown up-"

"Some of us more than others" Sidney pointed at Janet. Carrie let out a relieved sigh as Kane backed off.

"Kane?" Carrie turned to the fuming monster.

"What?"

"I'll sign the papers. You wont be a caged monster for much longer. I know the match was undecided but lets face it you were winning. I'll go to the GM's office tomorrow, say that I am willing to have my contract cut in half. Two or so more weeks" Carrie shrugged, still smiling.

_'She's agreeing to that? She's still not sticking up for herself. Or is that what she wants? I broke her friend's nose, she finally realized I'm not a man but a monster. That's what I wanted all along'_ Kane sat back in his chair hunching over just wanting to disappear from the situation. _'I want to be alone.'_

"Better still, I have a match next week so I won't be messing with you all night!"

"I'm going to sleep. Keep them quiet. Or since they can't shut their pie holes show them the door." Kane pointed to the exit before laying out on the bed. He wasn't sleeping only remaining motionless just waiting hopefully for tiredness and silence to creep over him, hoping to get some rest.

"You guys have caused enough mayhem and foolishness within an hour. You should probably go." Carried shooed them away.

"Are you going to be OK?" Sidney questioned unsure. Carrie looked back at the sleeping monster.

"I'll be fine." Carrie nodded.

'_I wouldn't hurt her, You all still don't understand me you never will.'_ Kane frowned in his _'sleep'._

"Goodnight Carrie." Lizzie gave a wave.

"Good-"

"Where do you sleep? Do you two actually sleep in the same bed." Janet lingered in the room.

"It's non of your business where I sleep." Carrie tried to shoo her again. Kane and Carrie had an unspoken agreement, they did share the same bed, at polar ends no touching and no acknowledging the other person's presence.

"Just curious." Janet shrugged.

"Well since you guys have pulled him through hell he needs some space, I'll probably be sleeping on the floor. Happy now?"

"You can come to our room. Sleep in Sidney's bed." Lizzie offered.

_'What?'_ Kane's eyes sparked up, then he just squeezed them tight as he could. _'sleep don't slaughter sleep.'_ he tried to calm himself.

"Yeah no problem just don't try anything.'" Sidney warned. The group rambled on with small talk for a while, half in the room half in the hallway. Kane felt an aching in his stomach. He didn't want to share her constantly with them, they would have her forever, he had to soak in every moment he got to spend with her. He could now admit if only to himself that he enjoyed her company.

"Ok Ok I'll see you soon 126 Pasalacqua Inn, I shall see you there squirrelfriends." Carrie finally succeeded in removing her friends. In a dramatic nature Carrie collapse to the floor, letting out a slight chuckle. "Tiring barrel of monkeys those three." After making two or three carpet angels Carrie finally stood and walked to the bed. "Well goodnight Kane, sorry for whole breaking and entering fiasco. . . Kinda my bad. Don't be mad I apparently didn't lock the door all the way. In my defense I REALLY needed those skittles." Carrie seemed somewhat foolish speaking to someone who was passed out but she felt like she hadn't gotten to explain herself. "Don't be too mad at Sidney and them . . . I mean the shower thing sure hold that over their heads till the day you die but I mean for the other stuff. They are good friends . . . honestly they are three of like only four to seven friends I have and as much as they tease and laugh at me I know they really do care"

_'Four to seven?'_ Kane questioned the odd numbers. _'So friends . . . that's what they do? Mock each other? And that's accepted . . . even expected?'_ Even the few and far between friends over the years had never had the bravado to_ 'tease' _Kane. _'They were all afraid of me, even my 'friends'. Even those people that were buckets of crazy from the asylums.'_

"But they grow on you." She paused wondering if there was anything she was leaving out.

_'Doubtful'_

"Oh and don't worry about Sidney's nose I mean it'd be the right thing to do to apologize but I don't really think that's in the cards." Carrie laughed, had the tables been turned Sidney wouldn't have apologized to Kane either._ 'Men and their egos equals a pain in my ass.'_ "Sure he's a little steamed now blah bah blah broke my face! Me me me my problems and all." Carrie cracked herself up. "But you guys seemed to have a bro moment, thought someone was about to cry. But legit he did say he grew some respect for you."

_'For punching him in the nose? Does he know I dismantle people for a living?'_

"I mean for someone who barely knows me, and only tolerates me . . . you're a good friend. You may even hate me but you've more or less had my back this whole time, and it doesn't go without notice . . . or appreciation." Again she paused. "I guess that's it, now that I've heard myself say it there's a chance I can condense this four part mini series of a statement into something that you have the patience to hear. Again Godnight" Carrie bit her lip and stared at Kane for a few moments._ ' You know what? Carpe diem.'_ She crouched down at the bedside leaned over and kissed Kane on the forehead. His eyes jolted open as though he had been struck by lightening. "Ahhh!" Carrie shrieked in surprise.

" I scared you." He frowned before simply turning over to face away from her. '_ It doesn't seem right. Wasn't like I had planned'_

"You surprised me." Carrie not to be ignored went and laid on the bed, giving Kane a sly look. Kane felt like an idiot he had ruined the moment. "There's a difference you know? Pretending to be asleep quite sneaky of you." She shook her head. "So you've been awake all this time?" Carrie turned to her side and was eye to eye with the giant.

"Mostly." He gave a short nod. Inside Kane was panicking. They had shared a bed for over two weeks but in the moment she seemed so much closer to him, it was making his blood pump. "Your friends are waiting." Kane reminded her.

"They can keep waiting a little while it won't kill them."

"An hour away from you I'd be surprised if they didn't fall into withdrawal already." Kane rolled his eyes he couldn't help but grin slightly when he saw Carrie's face light up with laughter.

"And whose the jokester now!" Carrie reached out her finger and bopped Kane on the nose. "This guy."

"It doesn't bother you?" Kane asked hesitantly, this question was him opening up just the smallest bit.

"What doesn't bother me?" Carrie had no clue what he was talking about.

"My . . ." Kane was going to back out but Carrie caught on.

"This?" Carrie smiled, placing her palms against Kane's cheeks.

"Yeah. I'm . . . a monster most of the scars have healed but still-"

"It doesn't bother me and it's a shame it bothers you so much." Carrie pushed her luck further rubbing her thumb along his features. Kane was in a state of literal shock, he could not move. "Sorry. I had promised I wouldn't be unprofessional with you and I'm all up in your bubble I . . . I'm sorry." Carrie's face grew red with embarrassment._ 'Idiot what do you think you're doing he asked yo a simple question and you wen't and took it to a level that just got weird. Oh you fucked up' _Carrie swore at herself popping up out of the bed. '_You made him uncomfortable before he won't even look at you after this. I guess I carpe diemed a bit too hard_.' She made two or three strides from the bed when she felt a grip on her wrist. Turning around Kane was standing there stoically, a somewhat blank look on his face. He closed the small gap between them. Looking up Carrie could see uncertainty and self doubt brewing beneath Kane's surface. "Kane?" The silence in the room was deafening. Another moment passed where they just stood there and something bizarre happened, Kane leant in and smelled Carrie. "Did you just sniff me?" Carrie didn't exactly know how to respond to that.

"I was trying to figure it out, what you smelled like and I . . . I've never been that close to you so I . . . didn't sniff you I'm not a dog I just-" '

"What do I smell like?"

"Green Apples" Kane stated with authority. "Carrie you smell like green apples."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I have a very poor sense of smell so I don't know but if my shampoo is too overpowering I can just as easy go find something else." She felt a slight squeeze on her wrist that Kane was still holding.

"It doesn't bother me." Mustering up some confidence Kane let go of her wrist and wrapped his arm around her waist he pulled her close to him, her head found itself resting on his chest. He ran his free hand through her hair it had a cotton texture to it. Kane felt a slight shock as Carrie did her best to wrap her arms around him.

"You are too big of a dude sometimes!" Carrie looked up at him bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"You should see me get in a taxi" They both laughed. "Are you still going to the other hotel? I'll give you a ride." Kane pulled away not sure what was to come of this but not wanting Carrie to say goodbye yet. Carrie could see Kane was holding something back.

"What? Is everything ok?"

"Everything is . . ." _'great, this moment is perfect.'_ " I don't want you to sleep in Sidney's bed." He shrugged. "I know you two are closer than the two of us but . . . I don't like him."

"Got that loud and clear when you broke his nose." Carrie laughed. "He'll grow-"

"No" Kane replied sternly. " That's why I'm telling . . . asking you" It was hard for him to shake his demanding tone. "not to sleep in his bed, his nose will be the least of his problems if I found out he pushed himself on you. I'd break every one of his fingers. You . . . I don't want other people to-"

"Find out that I smell like green apples?"

"Yeah" He chuckled "That you smell like green apples." He rolled his eyes.

"Well I can't guarantee Sidney will never sleep in the same bed as me, I mean all four of us slept on one bed the first night out of oregon" She sped up as she saw Kane grit his teeth slightly. "I can promise there is ABSOLUTELY nothing going on between us, we'd murder each other and it would be messy. So he's honestly my most hands off friend. Sad but true." Carrie laughed

"Why would you all sleep in one bed?" Kane and Carrie had a hard enough time sharing a bed, he couldn't imagine two more people squeezing in.

"Because we're poor. Necessity is the mother on invention" Carrie laughed. "But we're slightly less poor now, so we can afford two beds" Carrie lifted her hand for a high five but was left hanging.

"I will pay for-"

"You will pay for nothing." Carrie sat down on the bed and yawned.

_'I would pay my salary for the next six months if it guaranteed those two didn't sleep in the same bed.'_

"Can I stay here tonight? Or are you still mad?" Carrie threw a pillow at him.

"I wasn't mad till you talked about sleeping with Sidney" He pelted her back with a pillow hitting her square in the face.

"Holy tits that hurt" Carrie laughed. "And by the way you brought it up Asshole!" She took the pillow and ran over to him swinging feverishly. "Do you feel that at all?" She asked as her arms got sore.

"You're ridiculous." He yanked the pillow from her, patted her on the head before lifting her off her feet.

"You do that a lot. You ever notice that?"

"If people won't move, I make them move." He shrugged.

"Where am I moving?"

"To bed. You need sleep." He laid her down in bed.

"Need is a strong word I once went four days without sleep." Carrie pointed out what she viewed as a feather in her cap.

"What am I going to do with you?" '_I'm sure Sidney thought that was a great idea encouraged it and then mouthed off about it when she didn't reach day five. Bullshit they look out for her.'_

"I can tell who you're thinking about just by that lemony look on your face. We'll argue about this in the morning. Can we go to sleep now?"

"I thought you didn't need sleep?" Kane laid down next to her.

"I don't need to. Just want to" Carrie stuck out her tongue. Previously they had slept on the far edges of the bed but Carrie looked at Kane for a minute, before laying her head on his chest. "Is this ok?" She wasn't sure if Kane had already surpassed his limit of human contact.

"It's . . . go to sleep" He wrapped an arm around her and in short order they nodded off.


	5. man or monster?

"Carrie!" Kane caught up with a familiar group.

"No dice big guy." Jane shook her head and with that Kane grumbled and walked off.

"Should we tell Carrie you're looking for her?!" Lizzie shouted after him, trying her best to be accommodating. She was the calmer head that rarely prevailed.

"Y…" '_Im going to have yo get used to Carrie not being around. What is it a week or two more till she heads back to Oregon?' _He had tried not to think about it. He tried to ignoring it, the thought made it difficult to sleep at night, especially with how close they had gotten both figuratively and literally. "No." He resumed his stomp down the hallway.

"Oh captin my captin!" Sidney gave a sarcastic salute to Kane's back. "Not much of a talker that one." Sidney noted in a flat tome.

"You're no Carrie." Lizzie shrugged, she was fairly confident that Carrie did talk to Kane, they had been spending a lot of time together lately.

"That and if you haven't noticed he hates your guts." Janet added, stating what was all too obvious.

"He talks to her?" Sidney question with skepticism. _'All I hear is him barking orders at her. Do this! Don't go there! And he has the balls to call me demeaning to her. Who the hell is he?'_

"Not sure. But I figure it's quality not quantity. I'd like to think that they've got words to say to one another. Even if the haven't said them yet." Ever the optimist Lizze grinned.

"I call Bull" Janet shook her head, Janet figured if there had been a spark between those two as Lizzie seemed to implying, it would have lit by now.

"Just admit it guys, they've got something going for them and you know it." Lizzie wouldn't let their cynical nature keep her down.

"Whatever" Janet rolled her eyes. '_Crushing her dreams is like killing a puppy. Just let it go.'_

Carrie's nerves had been on edge all day, her breathing rapid, her muscles jittery. _'You're just nervous, stage fright.'_ She tried to convince herself. But she knew that wasn't it, at least not entirely. Sure she was nervous about her first televised match but something else was gnawing at her subconscious. A feeling of dread washed over her, she couldn't shake the notion that something bad was going to happen and she for one was nervous. She wanted a hug, more specifically a hug from Kane she felt safe there, nothing could touch them. _'He'd think you're loosing your marbles' _Carrie smirked to herself. _'Running scared from nothing.' _But she knew he would hug her just the same. They were comfortable with that by now at least in private.

"Carrie!" Janet held nothing back as she tackled her friend into the nearest wall with a thud.

"Janet! Cheese and crackers woman you nearly made me jump out my skin!"

"Sorry" Janet took a step back surprised by her friend legitimate unease.

"Hey Carrie, Kane was looking for you." Lizzie ignored Kane's original request.

"did he seemed worried at all? Concerned?" It was obvious her friends were as calm as kittens and had not caught her bad feeling bug.

"No. But you do. Is everything ok?" Sidney asked, already fully aware something was far from OK.

"I feel . . .I feel like something bad is going to happen. you guys alright? How about Kane? Nothings happened?" Carrie's mind raced with situation in which the people she cared about could come into harms way.

"Everyone seems kosher to me." Lizzie shook her head.

"I know what this is. First night jitters. You've got that paranoid brain working over time-" Sidney could see Carrie's muscles loosen up.

_'It sounds more believable coming out of someone else's mouth. Stop worrying Carrie. Why now? Why start freaking out now?' _

"Maybe Kane will go with you to ringside he'll make sure nothing happens." Lizze suggested.

'_No need to waste him time. I'll go alone. Though I wonder what he'd say if I asked.' _Carrie contemplated his short blunt possible reactions.

"Or there is always that guy" Janet pointed down the hall, Carrie's smile sprinted off her face. "Looks like you have a secret admirer. News flash dude you're doing it wrong!" She teased as the man down the hall read Carrie up and down.

"Funny." Carrie laughed to hide her intimidated demeanor.

"Whose that?" Lizzie voiced her curiosity and slight fear.

"Kane." The name seemed tainted in reference to the figure that loomed ahead of them.

"I've seen Kane. Of little to no fault of my own every inch of the man and trust that ain't him." Janet scoffed with a smug know it all grin on her face. There was no doubt in her mind that the pudgy man wrapped in red was in no way Kane.

"The other Kane." Carrie didn't take her eyes off of the mysterious man, she doubted he had so much as blinked since they had caught one another's stare.

"Oh great. There's more than one?" Sidney sneered unhappily, one Kane was more than enough for his liking now he had two behemoths in his life.

"In a way." Carrie trailed off.

"You're not making any sense." Sidney scrunched her face, still thoroughly confused. The heat being emitted from other Kane's glare was boring holes in Carrie, turning her legs to jelly. Regardless she tried to keep a unwavering aura as she walked cautiously yet confidently in his direction.

"If you flirt too aggressively Carrie Kane might get jealous . . . of himself." Janet laughed off the awkward situation.

"Hey would you guys mind finding me some skittles Can't find a damn vending machine with a single bag in it, and as you know skittles are very important in my life. I need to talk to him alone" Carrie tried to seem aloof.

"Uh yeah sure. You going to be ok?" Sidney was far more reluctant to have them all leave Carrie's side.

"Yeah I'll be fine." Carrie swatted away her friend's concerns. "Ill be right here when you get back." She gave a reassuring smile.

"My stomach is kinda grumbling." Janet's stomach stirred. "The quicker we go, the quicker we get back." Janet asserted as they walked away.

Carrie and the impostor were now within their first official meeting, she had only heard of him and even that had been clouded in mystery, Kane did not like to talk about him. This was the man who made Kane anxious, in a way it was as if he was afraid of himself and what he was capable of. _'It is just Kane, a lesser Kane. Perceive no threat.' _She walked herself through a calm mindset as they became eye to chest. "you know what I think?" She never got to answer her rhetorical question. He had grabbed her wrist and pulled her to his chest, she could hear his irregularly heart beat, his hand squeezing her wrist tightly, she was wincing in pain. Looking down at her with angry eyes, he smirked at her discomfort, still not saying a single word. He lifted her up by said wrist and like a rag doll she was slung over his shoulder.

"What?" Kane turned around only to see Carrie's friends he had been trying to ignore their calls for the last five minutes., To his disappointment for the second time that night Carrie was absent._ 'Is she avoiding me? What's wrong, what did I do?_' He felt a tug on his emotions.

"Is Carrie with you? We have her skittles but we can't find her anywhere" Lizzie questioned holding up exhibit A, two handfuls of skittles, they had probably bought every bag in the arena for their friend. Kane looked to his left, then to his right when Carrie didn't pop out of nowhere he turned back to the threesome an annoyed look on his face. "I think I'm catching Carrie's bad vibe." Lizzie frowned with ever growing concern. She hadn't felt entirely right leaving Carrie with that daunting character but there was no convincing Carrie otherwise once she made a decision.

"Huh?" Kane's pulse skipped a beat, if Carrie had gotten herself in trouble again she foresaw himself pulling apart the arena apart piece by piece to find her.

"Boo!" Carrie put her hands on Kane's shoulders trying to push herself up wobbling on her tip toes.

"The hell are you doing?" Kane grunted as he felt compelled to oblige her, he put his hands behind him and lifted her up till her arms fell over his shoulders, her legs startled his waist and her chin rested alongside the crook of his neck.

"Carrie! See you women worry too much." Sidney let out a sigh of relief.

"What smells like burnt hair?" Janet lobed her gaze upwards knowing where the the answer was going to come from.

"You know that parlor trick I do?"

"You were juggling flaming cars?"

"Yeah to calm me down-"

"Obviously" Sidney rolled his eyes.

"Anyway I hadn't really been paying much attention on where I was going, a door comes flying open at me, POW! One fell right in my hair. Singed it good before I could get it out. Is it real noticeable?" Carrie was surprised to feel Kane's hand rake through her hair. Mid way he tensed beneath her. "What?" She asked quietly, wondering what she had done to make him flinch.

"You burn your arm too?" He pulled her right arm in front of his face, from the ned of her wrist up the remainder of her forearm was covered in a ace bandage, he held it lightly as he could, turning each side to his view. He could see spots where blood had seeped through. _'That's no burn. She hasn't even had her match yet. What the hell happened?'_ His jaw tightened as he found himself angry with no outlet.

"N . . . no" She admitted cautiously as she retreated from her spot where she had been clinging to Kane's back. She held her arm to her chest in protective reflex. Kane turned to her, seeing her face for the first time since they had reunited. She looked meak and reclusive, something had spooked her and he wanted to set it right.

"Well . . . what happened?" Sidney pried.

"I um . . . broke a window with it." She put her forearm up in example. "How much do windows cost now a days? I Probably am going to be billed for the replacement of that thing. Oh skittles!" Carrie allowed herself to ramble on for a moment hoping the conversation would drop. she reached for her candy but Sidney moved between her and her treat.

"For any particular reason?" Sidney followed up with another question, this was like pulling teeth.

"…No?" Carrie said in a pleading tone. She was now staring at the wall wanting to be anywhere but boxed in with her incredibly nosey friends. Her plan not to talk about what happened was going up in smoke.

"I can't believe you. Tonight you have your first and possibly only WWE match. I can't wrap my mind around how you could let yourself injured already." Sidney took Carrie's arm and inspected it in disapproval.

"Well Sidney it wasn't exactly in my day planner! I had to get out of that storage closet somehow you know? Or I would've risked missing the match all together. Not me, I couldn't live with myself if I let that opportunity slip through my fingers. I worked hard for this! Desperate times call for desperate measures." Carrie with that statement hoped again to appease their inquisitive nature.

"Why the hell were you in a-"

"Stop the god damn presses." Janet's mind before the other's had put two and two together. "That guy locked you in a fucking Closet? Why the fuck would he do that?" You could see the lightbulbs going off in Sidney and Lizzie's head.

"What guy?" Kane snapped, feeling slightly possessive over what wasn't his.

"The-"

"Janet shut the hell up!" Carried spouted finger up in the air to shush her friend. This was as far as she would let this go. '_I'm not going to play into his hand. Can't let him rattle Kane, can't let him hurt Kane. My arm will heal in no time.'_

"What did he do?" Sidney asked adamantly.

"Who?" Kane's voice boomed. '_What is Carrie . . . Who is Carrie hiding from me. She doesn't trust me?'_ Kane had a confused and bitter look on his face.

"Nothing, nothing he trapped me in that closet and he did nothing. He talked, for someone who shouldn't talk he just wouldn't stop. I couldn't get him to stop!" She held her hands to her ears. As the horrible things that man had drilled into her over and over again played like a recording in her mind. Kane teetered on his toes unsure of how to console her, eventually he walked over and rubbed her back. Carrie looked up at him surprised by his public display of concern._ 'Don't fool yourself Carrie in a week or so's time he won't even remember your name.'_ She sighed realizing she was falling for Kane, no longer satisfied with friendship. She knew how impractical of a thought it was that Kane would feel that way. He had only recently accepted her as a friend, what was the likelihood they could cultivate anything more in such a short period of time. "well . . . I have to get ready. Wish me luck!" She smiled with determination.

"Good luck." They all said in tandem as Carrie skipped off.

"Snaps! you do like Carrie don't you? I was wrong you were right Lizzie!" Janet conceded.

"Who locked her in that closet?" Kane demanded ignoring the question entirely.

"For what I gathered . . . you" Sidney shrugged still confused.

Quite assured nothing could ruin the her night more Carrie made her way to the curtain with confidence. Mid stride in an seemingly empty hallway she was pushed against a wall.

"Ow fuck!" She cursed going to rub the back of her head, which was growing tender this wasn't the first time she had been thrown into a wall that night. She couldn't flee large hands held her in place, his mammoth frame blocking all else from view.

"I hope you know, I didn't tell him! He's not coming. She could feel the grip on her arms tighten. "Let go!"

"Delaying the unavoidable" His masked voice made her cringe.

"You don't do him justice you know?! Hiding behind someone else's mask I-" He had let her go repulse and enraged by her comment. She still couldn't escape, she couldn't will her legs to move and he still was a human wall in front of her.

"We're two in the same, no matter who denies it. He is still all the things you hate about me. Remember that next time you swap spit with him. Or is that what excites you, that he's a heartless monster that could snap any moment? Does that get you off Carrie? To know that he will tear you to pieces like the worthless piece of trash that you are? You know you deserve it, so it gets you all hot and bothered is that it Carrie?"

"Don't underestimate the sleeper cell!" She shook her head trying to ignoring those slimy statements. "You all aren't the only monsters on the block! If I have to I'll destroy you! By hook or by crook you'll be the one thrown in the garbage!" And with that Carrie leaned forward and spat in the man's leather bound face he recoiled giving her a chance to run to the very edge of the curtain. A few paranoid moments passed luckily by the time her music started she was fairly confident she was in the clear.

"Introducing second. Escorted by Kane, Carrie Lories"

"What? Kane?" That short lived confidence left sailing with all the blood in her face. She was unsure which face of Kane she was going to see.

"Couldn't find you." Kane frowned lightly as they started to walk. Carrie let out a large sigh of relief only to suck in a gasp, realizing this was exactly what _'He' _wanted, Kane out in the open like a sitting duck.

"You shouldn't have . . . you didn't have to come." She studied the laces in her boots as to seemed preoccupied not frightened. She was studying them so hard that she didn't realizing that her walk had slowed to all but a crawl. Kane nudged her slightly to speed up.

"Payback." He gave a quick smirked as they reached the outskirts of the ring.

"For?" Carrie nervously looked over her shoulder waiting for terror to come steamrolling down the ramp. _'He's screwing with my mind.'_ She gritted her teeth as she concluded there was no one behind them. Kane's stomach turned he could see the look on her porcelain face, it was one of pain and fear. He knew what had caused her current mindset and more importantly he knew what he would do to protect her from it. Truthfully that's why he had come to her match, to make sure no unexpected harm came her way.

"Last week I distinctly told you not to come to my match. What happened? You didn't listen and tagged along anyway." He leaned against the ring post as she slipped through the ropes. Carrie couldn't argue with his logic and in all honesty she didn't want to.

_'What kind of selfish person am I that I'd rather have Kane here calming my nerves than back where he is safe.'_ She chastised herself. Looking at her surroundings she saw Lita standing in the middle of the ring waiting for her._ 'You can do this. Confidence Carrie, embrace confidence' _She gave herself a pep talk right as the bell rang. Carrie took one last collected breath before charging at Lita knocking her to the ground. The upper hand was not yet in her grasp as Lita pulled Carrie's feet from under her, causing her to fall to the floor. Lita pounced going in for an early cover while Carrie was still dazed.

"One." A hand slammed the mat. Carrie clawed her way to her feet.

"Might not be seasoned like you but still not such a pushover." She seemed genuinely insulted.

"There's a reason you're here." Lita and Carrie collided fighting for the next executable move. Kane watched the two women sparring in the ring, comparing the two. _'They're similar, I knew they would be Lita chose her. Carrie isn't Lita though, she's different.'_ He wanted so much to believe that but the words he had rehearsed up until now crept back into his head. _'Women equal pain. All women, even Carrie.'_ His battling philosophies ping ponged through his mind shadowing the back and forth tussling inside the ring, the match was dragging on. Stamina fleeting Carrie saw the slightest window of opportunity, catching Lita in a very messy sidewalk slam. Her face was Rudolph red as she opted for attempting covering over catching her breath.

"One. Two. Three!" The numbers rang sweetly in her slightly bruised head as she wobbled to her feet.

'Lita's damn good. There's a reason you're here too.' She outstretched her arm helping Lita to her feet in good sportsman like fashion.

"I hope you know." Lita distanced herself. "I let you win." Carrie's smile sunk if only for a minute.

_'Nobody is going to keep me down.'_ "If that was true what would I owe this gift?"

"Brains too." Lita admired Carrie's mistrust of competitors. "I like you Carrie, I figure you're worth keeping around. Hell I might need a partner one day, we both know we're not on those catty model's speed dial." Lita had it on good authority that Carrie was an outcast in the locker room just like her. "No need to keep looking over your shoulder. He's more afraid of you than you are of him." Lita nodded over in the direction of Kane who was impatiently waiting for Carrie outside the ring, swaying slightly on his feet. On that note Lita was done spreading advice and ran to Edge's hungry embrace.

"How did I do?" Carrie asked Kane who seemed in a hurry to leave, she had to jog to keep up with his long strides up the ramp.

"What di . . . you did good." He sighed running a hand over his head.

"Well thanks." She smiled awkwardly. "Holding something back? I can take it, I'm a trooper." Carrie punched Kane in the shoulder. Kane stopped right before the curtain.

"I don't like her." He glanced backwards at the happy couple waltzing their way closer.

"Understandable." Carrie nodded parting through the black fabric. Kane looked at her as if he was expecting more, when she showed no signs of elaboration he clumsily handed Carrie a water bottle he had placed backstage for her.

_'Lita was right. Kane is afraid of me. I guess what else is new?'_ Carried grinned to herself._ 'They didn't call you creepy Carrie in school for nothing.' _"Kane . . ." She paused not knowing exactly what to say to break the ice that was forming between them. "Thanks for the water." She gave a gigantic sip before speaking again. "Is that distant stare of yours is meant to imply neither should I?"

"Maybe. She-"

"You guys ended on bad terms and-"

"She screwed me over." Neither of them would allow an entire sentence to get out.

"You railroaded her into marriage." Carrie could tell immediately she had struck a cord, she could see all energy seep from Kane's face and body.

"You don't understand." His shoulders hunched as if he was a turtle protecting himself in his shell. _'No one understands me.'_ He scanned the perimeter for an exit. For minutes on end there was an elongated silence, Kane wasn't even bothering to look behind him to see if Carrie was still following.

"No." She grabbed Kane's hand in her drastically smaller fingers. Kane came to a stop but still didn't turn around to look at her. "No Kane I don't understand, and you know probably never will. That's Ok though." She walked forward weaving and bobbling till Kane had no choice but to look at her. "There are things you don't understand about me and never will. I can huff and puff about it or I can move on from that. If you don't want to try to explain that's fine but don't let this one thing make you close off completely." Her eyes had a sense of both determination and hope.

"What makes you think I want to be understood? What makes you think I understand myself? I'm the monster that hides from the towns people until I'm provoked. There are thing going on in my head that if I tried to explain them, it'd cause you to keep your distance. The less you know about me the better." He took back his hand.

"You can't possibly mean that?!" Carrie was dumbfounded.

"Exactly. You'd never understand." He sighed looking at his upturned palms. "They call me a machine Carrie, that's because it's better to go through the motions than let myself get lost in my demons. Just leave me alone for a while. Go celebrate with your friends."

"Not without you."

"Did you not listen to a word I said?" Kane shook his head.

"I heard you. I wan't to prove to you Kane, that there are people who see the man inside you not just the monster. Please! Besides I had all intentions to get completely plastered which means my friends would have to carry me home and-"

"Sidney would end up dropping you on the face." Kane scoffed. He was weighing his options, he could go home where he'd have peace and quiet, where he could be alone but he'd probably be anxious over the fact that Carrie would be somewhere drunk with no one to look out for her; Or he could go to the bar, surrounded by people, loud music, debauchery and Sidney which at the moment he wanted nothing to do with any of that, but apparently he'd make Carrie's day, and could make sure she was alright.

_'I wonder if she becomes a sloppy drunk? Am I going to have to hold her hair back while she pukes after getting so plastered?'_ Kane grimaced.

"Never mind! I didn't know going to the bar is equivalent of going to the gallows." Carrie was insulted by the look on Kane's face. _'The idea makes him sick?'_ She walked off. "You're not always a monster you're a man." She didn't want him thinking she had only said those things to lure him out. "Just so happens you're a dick too!" She also wanted to emphasize that she was annoyed with him.

_'What just happened? She got that upset over a night out drinking? She knows I don't like people why would she even ask me that?' _He too stormed off, though he did so in the opposite direction._ 'I hadn't meant to hurt her feelings._' "Man not a monster my ass." He grumbled out loud, as he burst open the door to the locker room.

"Carrie you were great!" Lizzie ran overjoyed to her friend hugging Carrie tightly.

"Thanks." Carrie gave a quick smile that quickly receded into a frown as she pulled from Lizz'es grasp.

"Your overwhelming excitement is starting to make me feel uncomfortable bring it down a notch." Janet's voiced dripped with sarcasm.

"Not sure why you're grumpy gills but here this might cheer you up. I went to the corner store and ta da!" Sidney held up two large sized ziplock bags of skittles, one of the bags contained nothing but greens skittles, Carrie's favorite.

"That does cheer me up." Carrie nodded and hugged Sidney.

"You won that should cheer you enough" Janet was confused why Carrie needed help in that apartment. "But whatever. Let's go out and celebrate! Picked out a sweet ass bar and everything"

"What would you have done if she had lost?" Kane came out of nowhere.

"Did you two go to the same optimism seminar? Don't harsh my vibe!" Janet was upset that they were being so negative.

"We would've only given her the green bag. Cause we would have gone and got black out drunk to forget a loss. Carrie can't have red food dye before she drinks like that." Sidney shrugged.

"Why?" Kane gave a funny look at Carrie. "Superstition?"

"No. For some reason it doesn't agree well with me and then Bleh . . . looks like I'm hurling blood."

"When are we going." Kane tried not to make the same sickened face.

"Takes us an hour or so to get ready" Lizzie pointed at herself and Janet. "Some time after that I guess."

"We?" Carrie asked Kane with disbelief.

"Lets go before I change my mind." He took her hand and walked off.


	6. Name game

"Hello?" Carrie answered the phone. "Fisher? Oh my god! How are you" There was a pause as she listened to the voice on the other end. Kane had gotten changed. "Yeah I won isn't that great!" she squealed. Kane crooked his head to one side wondering what was going on. "Next week? You'll be there? Promise?" Carrie knew how flaky Fisher could be.

"Carrie?" Kane announced his presence.

"Kane. Oh ok. Fisher I have to go. We're going out to celebrate! Yeah Kane he's coming. No we're not dating. No I'm not. Yes option's open, still not happening Fisher." Carrie laughed. "I said no! Bye Fisher I'll see you next week." Carrie sighed slamming the phone down. "Ready?" Carrie turned around to see Kane. This was the first time she had seen him outside of ring gear or sweats, he cleaned up well. He was wearing dark jeans and a dark red polo that was slightly ill fitting around his arms, but that couldn't really be helped.

"Who was that?" Kane asked nosily.

"Oh um Fisher, a friend that lives nearby . . . ish. You might meet him next week. I mean if he shows up before the contract termination, or at all for that matter." Carrie frowned.

"Another friend. Great." Kane rolled his eyes, he just imagined another Sidney. "He asked if we were dating?"

"Yeah. Fisher is a lost cause playboy he's been trying to get back together since-"

"Back?"

"Yeah he's an Ex but we've staid friends and all. Why?"

"Lets not talk about that or the contract tonight. I don't want to ruin your good time." Kane gave an uneasy smile.

"I . . . Ok. Kane were you wondering if . . . never mind forget it. Let the good times roll!" She smiled as they walked out the door.

_'Trying to get back with her? Who the hell is he? An idiot just like I thought.' _Kane couldn't imagine anyone letting someone like Carrie go. '_I'm letting her go.'_ he reminded himself as he watched her race down the stairs. "Would you ever . . ." Kane started a question but decided against it and went with an easier one. "Where are we going?"

"Oh some place called the Ivy. Sidney says it's a dive bar but it has a shuffle board table so that's all Janet needs. Lizzie says there's a jukebox so maybe some dancing to be had" Carrie shrugged taking Kane's hand in hers as if it was second nature.

"I'm not dancing." Kane put his foot down.

"Didn't exactly think so. Make sure I don't dance with any creeps or weirdos?" She hoped to learn from past experiences.

"I'll be watching" He nodded as they reached the cab. Carrie squished in next to her friends, it appeared as there was no room for Kane. "I'll get the next one."

"No it's ok. Sit on my lap." Carrie patted her upper thighs. She was worried that if she left Kane behind he would never follow.

"You're delusional." Kane sighed. _'Does she not see me?'_

"I know you think you have thighs of steel but how about we take that idea flip it so maybe Kane wont break your legs like twigs?" Janet suggested.

"It's a trap!" Sidney insisted poking his head out the cab. "Don't do it Kane!" He warned flailing a finger in the air.

"Huh?" Kane scratched his bald head.

"She will hit you in the testicles! It's like her lap has a honing device for the most uncomfortable part of your crotch. Don't let her sit on your lap, you and your balls will thank me later!" Sidney warned with the vigor of a great sage.

"That happened twice!"

"At least three times!"

"No the last one happened cause we were fighting in the car and I elbowed you in the nuts going for gold. And I don't know why you're still pissed?!"

"You elbowed me in the balls." Sidney shouted at the top of his lungs. Kane took Carrie's shoulder and pulled her from the car, he'd take his chances.

"You falcon punched me!" She yelled over Kane but stopped to laugh as Kane struggled to get in what seemed like a clown car next to the giant. "You're right! That was funny." Carrie's face was bright red, remembering how even Kane could find humor in his trying to sardine himself into a taxi. Kane grinned as he tried to get comfortable.

"Carrie do you really plan on sitting on Kane's lap?"

"If Kane's fine with it yeah." Carrie gave an exaggerated sigh.

"Can't believe we're still talking about this. Get in." Kane was growing impatient and reached out to grab Carrie's one side, pulling her into the cab.

"Janet cover Kane's balls!" Sidney demanded.

"What?" Janet and Kane had the same shocked look on their faces.

"The fuck is your problem dude? You seem to be taking a particular interest in Kane's junk right now. Honestly its making me feel uncomfortable for him. And so help me god Janet if you lay one finger on his testicles there well be a reckoning the likes of which you've never seen!" With that Carrie sat down on Kane's lap. For a moment he thought of playing along faking unbelievable pain, but he figured it would only be funny for a very short term. "I just want everyone to have fun ok? Even you two" Carrie pointed behind her at Kane and to the far side at Sidney.

"Hey I was trying to have a bonding moment! You ruined it!" Sidney crossed his arms.

"That was you trying to bond? Talking about horrific ball related instances? Maybe that's why you have so few male friends." Janet laughed.

"Shut it!"

"Alright all this anger is getting us nowhere. Um lets tell jokes or something till we get there." Lizzie tried to calm the rowdy cab, hoping the could make it the whole eight miles.

"Maybe mad-libs, what are we eleven?" Sidney scoffed, still trying to simmer down.

"Oh Oh pick me I got one." Janet rose her hand in the air.

"Go for it."

"What did the one tampon say to the other?"

"Joke time is over." Sidney rolled down his window hoping to see the bar in sight. The road was growing bumpy, Kane wrapped an arm around Carrie's waist and put his opposite hand between her head and the roof of the car, so when she bounced there was a slight cushion.

"Smart thinking! I would've never thought to do that." Carrie smiled.

"When you're as big as me your head bumps into a lot of things. You have to figure something out, or invest in a helmet, even that's hard to find in my size." _'Smart thinking. That's a first.' _Kane laughed as he saw Carrie's hand flail wildly behind her trying to palm Kane's head, eventually she found it. It was a short ride to the bar, Carrie gingerly got out as to not prove Sidney right. She then held out a hand for Kane to grab, he declined and got up on his own, he could see that glitch in her smile poke through, but as usual it didn't stay broken for long. Carrie began to trot towards the door but was stopped when her hand was grabbed she turned around to see Kane's large arm attached to a weary palm, he looked nervous. Carrie grinned and gave Kane's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Don't listen to Sidney I'm not going to hurt you." She dragged Kane through the door.

_'Won't hurt me.' _ He seemed to reach an epiphany out of nowhere, he had lost a chunk of fear and reservation about the girl.

"There's a table!" Lizzie shouted from across the room. Kane trying to use everyday people's social cues pulled a chair out for Carrie.

"I'll sit in a minute. What does everyone want?"

"I buy you fly. A fireball and red bull" Janet dug money out of a black hole of a purse.

"A rolling rock." Lizzie pointed a finger in the air.

"Kane?"

"Soda." He shrugged.

"So one fireball, one rolling rock and one rum and coke got it?" Janet gave Kane a wink.

"I don't want-"

"It's alright to have fun Kane everyone does it!" Lizzie laughed.

"Relax. If he doesn't want to drink he doesn't have to. Just a soda?" Carrie hushed her friends.

"I . . . I don't like rum." He gave another annoyed shrug knowing that he would have to compromise.

"Jack and coke?" Sidney proposed.

"Whatever." Kane went to dig into his pocket but was stopped by a hand slapping the table.

"I said I got this round idiot! Don't try to hustle in on my game." Janet shook her head. "You can get the next one big guy."

"Ugh" Kane stared over at the clock._'Ten minutes down three hours to go.'_

"Sidney be my extra hands?" Carrie and Sidney walked off in search of the bartender. Kane put his elbows on he table and his chin into his palm.

"So Kane what's new?" Lizzie watched as the man's eyes lulled in her direction.

"What?"

"He was busy looking at Carrie from behind, he didn't hear you." Janet chuckled.

"I wasn't staring I was just . . . looking out for her." He trailed off, a place this packed made him uneasy.

"Aw you big softy." Lizzie smirked, Kane remained stoic and silent still keeping an eye on Carrie who was swaying her hips to the song whatever you like. He grinned, happy that she appeared to be having fun already.

"Lizzie?" This was the first time Kane had mentioned her by name.

"Huh? Yeah?" She blinked surprisedly. Kane motioned for her to come closer.

"What's the secret?" Janet felt sorely left out.

"Non of your business!" Kane hissed in a hushed tone.

"Carrie your man is-"

"I wish there was an off button on things like you. Just shut up!" It was Kane's turn to slam his palms into the table.

"Will you tell me the secret then?"

"No." Kane replied in a monotone voice.

"We already know what you're going to say." Lizzie tried to coax him back to the conversation but he showed no sign of speaking. He began tapping his foot

_'How long are they going to be?' _He stared at Carrie and Sidney impatiently.

"I mean it has to be about Carrie right" Still Lizzie got no response.

"Have you two done it yet?" Janet prodded.

" " '_Has no respect for her friend.'_

"See subtlety and kindness will get you nowhere Lizzie. I got him to talk."

"Are you going to ask her out?" Lizzie ignored Janet's tip.

"No" He was keeping his answers short and to the point.

"Oh" Lizzie couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice. "Cause I think you two would be great together." She tried to end on a light note.

"Who is Fisher?" Kane did his best to ignore the statement._ 'A good couple? A couple? Me and her.' _He continued to gaze on her.

"Surprised you know that name. Fisher is Carrie's on and off again boyfriend though I-"

"It's always better to be on a boyfriend than off one if you ask me." Janet added.

"No one asked you." Kane sneered.

"Well I guess you heard he'll be here next week. But if you-"

"Doubtful." Janet rolled her eyes.

"Why not?"

"Shut up they're coming." Kane hushed them.

"Short story shorter. . . Fisher is a prick a lovable suave prick and and no one loves Fisher more than . . . Fisher. He's a great guy and all, they were a cute couple, Carrie really got along with his kid but Fisher has that bigger faster stronger complex if you know what I mean? Good friend . . . horrible mate, second worst man in her life and unreliable as shit." Janet shoved that all out in one breath. "Hiiiiiiii!" She waved obnoxiously as Carrie and Sidney walked over they were trying their best to carry five drinks between the two of them.

"Hi." Carrie seemed surprised by the enthusiasm. "Sorry." She whispered to Kane as she placed down his drink. Carrie assumed sitting with Lizzie and Janet must have felt like torture to him. He stood up and again pulled out her chair, this time she took her seat.

"Cheers!" Sidney held up his Stella, everyone else followed suit. "To Carrie's smashing success!" They clanked glasses.

"Thanks guys." Carrie grinned, red in the face slightly embarrassed by all the attention.

"Good job." Kane tried to seem excited to be there. _'Will it crush her? If this Fisher won't show up?'_

"Well drink up! Maybe that will loosen Kane up." Janet leaned across the table and tried to massage his giant shoulders.

"Get off." He shrugged, taking the straw out of his drink he took big gulps. _'Anything to help.'_

"Like a fish." Carrie laughed as she took a few sips of her hard lemonade. Kane smiled at her.

_'Stay happy Carrie.'_ he wanted the smile that was on her face, her genuine smile, to stay there. The night passed on slowly, eventually Kane did loosen up, talking a bit more, laughing, even actually able to have a conversation with Sidney without pushing him the wall. Four drinks down he had to break the seal. "Excuse me." He stood, his head almost bumping into a lamp, they all laughed.

"First." Carrie turned her cheek to him, not moving her seat.

"What?"

"Carrie he's not actually your boyfriend." Sidney could see Carrie, who was two drink and a shot ahead of Kane was feeling it.

"Huh?" Kane wasn't sure what he meant by that.

"Carrie just move!" Lizzie didn't want Carrie to say or do what she would regret.

"Fine. Fine. Here I am trying to be cute and . . .oh" Carrie placed both of her hands over her mouth realizing what she had done, she speedily rocked her chair forward. Kane passed by and yanked Sidney up by his shoulder.

"The hell!" Sidney shouted as he spilled a quarter of his beer on himself. "Party foul!"

"Lets go."

"Dude it doesn't work like that, guys don't do bathroom buddies." He complained as Kane continued to drag him.

"I didn't ask." Kane plowed through the crowd Sidney in hand. Janet rescued Sidney's beer.

"What's the big deal?" Sidney finally stopped dragging his feet and simply followed Kane.

"What just happened there?"

"Where?"

"Why did everyone shut Carrie up?"

"It's not important. . . go piss!" Sidney didn't want to divulge what had just transpired. Kane didn't move, his will would outlast his bladder. "Fine just don't bring it up, she didn't mean it. She has this thing . . . where whoever sits next to her they're not allowed to pass until they give her at least a kiss on the cheek. Happy now?" Sidney sighed feeling he had betrayed her friend's trust. Kane didn't answer and went to the bathroom.

_'She wanted me to kiss her? She's drunk. I should flag her' _He shrugged to himself as he washed her hands.

"Carrie what is this bullshit you're playing?" Kane could hear Sidney shout.

"Let her do what she wants. It's her day." Kane barked as he swung open the door.

"I don't know if you hear this? En Vouge? Really? It's not nineteen ninety three anymore" Sidney pointed at the top of the jukebox. "Next is Poison by Bel Biv Devoe and then some Sir Mix a lot . . . it all goes downhill from there, trust me!" Sidney began to walk through the crowd with far less ease than Kane had. They shuffled and elbowed through.

"Hiiiii!" Janet popped out of nowhere blocking their way.

"Move sister friend." Sidney palmed Janet's face and pushed her aside, weaseling through her wake. Kane went to take another step but Janet put a hand against his chest to halt him.

"Move." Kane looked over her head and saw some bustling around the jukebox.

"How bout some shuffle board? Put those muscles to good use!" Janet would not let him pass.

"Move." Kane repeated.

"No."

"Move."

"Open your ears . . .N . . .O." Janet snapped back. "Look there's nothing over there, we can have way more fun back here." She ran her hand from the top of his chest, lower. After an stir of shock he snapped to.

"Get off!" Kane ripped her hand away feeling guilty.

"Leave me alone jackass it's my bills it's my music, stop shoving me!" Carrie's voice could be heard behind the sea of people. Kane lifted Janet off her feet putting her king kong style over his shoulder, this time people just moved out of his way as he stomped through.

_'What now?' _The box came into view and so did Carrie. Kane put Janet down and pushed closer still.

"Kane it's cool. Carrie's got this. No biggie!" Lizzie now tried to step in.

"Stop spitting when you talk it's gross! I don't even know you!" Carrie was shouting at a man who was invading Carrie's personal space with angry gestures.

"No but you're about to! It's Eric!" The man gave her a shove. Kane was gritting his teeth.

"Sure she does." He passed Lizzie. Sidney was the last wall between them.

"She doesn't want your help . . . she says she caused you enough trouble. She made us promise we'd let her handle it. For what it matters she didn't start this fight, he kept heckling her music picks, totally understandable but he crossed the line a bit when he grabbed money out of her hand . . . she just . . . didn't take it so well." He wanted to let Kane go to Carrie's aid but she had made them promise. _'She promised not to hit him, if we kept Kane away.'_ The monster was getting more and more angry with each road block.

"Carrie!" Kane shouted out to her.

"Kane? Damn. Uh look way ! I'm a bit of a sloppy mess just chill over there. Play shuffle board or something!" She felt so awkward, she knew she was drunk but she and whomever she was arguing with had caused such a big scene that she couldn't back down. The words shuffle board mad him gulp hard, thinking of Janet. Ignoring her he finally made his way to her side. He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"This is your boyfriend?" Eric laughed. Carried turned and could see Kane ready to snap.

"So what if he is? None of your god damn business."

"He must have got a big cock or a big wallet for you to be seen with this gargoyle."

"I'll tell you what he doesn't have Eric! A big ass mouth that he can't back up! Come on Kane lets go back to our seats." She knew this was going nowhere good fast, and her alcohol dipped fuse was about as short as Kane's everyday one. "How do you kiss a monster like that? Talk about a face only a mother could love. "

"Like this!" With no hesitation Carrie leaned up as far as her legs would go and she kissed Kane on the lips with enthusiasm, Kane didn't move at first, he was in sensory overload but eventually he kissed her back. _'Smells like green Apples. Tastes like lemonade.' _He didn't care this was just to prove a point, that Carrie hadn't been thinking clearly. All that he cared about was this moment. _'No pain.' _He felt a sense of euphoria. He held her face to his not wanting the kiss to break.

"I told you that was Kane! Oh Oh Kane can we get a picture with you?" A duo of apparent wrestling fans barreled through the mob to get to Kane, one tugged on his sleeve. Carrie jolted backwards.

"Kane I am soooo sorry." Carrie felt her heart sink to her stomach. _'What did I just do?'_

"Oh wow it's like real life! Kane in the flesh . . . and you're whatsherface the chick Edge bought for you!" The one man doted.

"Ha knew it! So you are a whore! And the hunchback over here couldn't even afford you on his own" Eric gloated. Kane went to grab Eric by the throat but Carrie stepped between them, taking Kane's hand in hers holding it to her side, rubbing a calming thumb across his knuckles. "You two are going to have some ugly ass inbred children someday!"

"I'm not twenty two anymore Kane, I can't be getting kicked out of bars, take your picture and lets just sit." Carrie sighed. "You're welcome asshole." Carrie spat at Eric. Camera flashes began to pop.

"Did you play all your music?" Kane was staring daggers at Eric. "If you have a nickel of hers I suggest you hand it back."

"Keep it slut! I hope your freak gets what his friend paid for. Maybe put a bag over each other's heads and no one will throw up" Eric threw some crumpled ones at Carrie's face. She seemed like she was about to blow but her face got calm. She let go of Kane's hand and walked up to Eric standing directly on his toes.

_'Wait for it.' _Carrie had a cue she was waiting for.

"Get off me bitch!" Eric gave her a heavy push, Carrie stumbled a few feet then swung at him, connecting a hard right hook. Immediately afterwards she put hands up in the air. "Self defense! I feared for my safety! Everyone saw he pushed me first!" She wanted the whole bar to hear. Another flash went off.

"She learned that from a cop." Sidney smirked. "Step on their toes and make them hit you first."

"I think we should go." Carrie sighed about to go and collect her things.

"Finish your music Carrie." Kane stated like nothing had happened. "Here." He took what money he had in his pocket. "Play all the songs you want." He hovered over Eric for a moment. "One word! I'll crush your voice box under my foot." Eric was struggling to get to his feet and upon glancing at the size of Kane's shoe he shrunk away like a scared pup. Kane returned to his seat with a heavy sigh.

"I'm proud of you . . . for letting her handle it. . . for the most part." Lizzie put a hand on Kane's shoulder. "Want a congratulatory drink?" She sat across from him. Kane looked over his shoulder to make sure Carrie was uninterrupted in her selections. "Sure" she was alright so Kane felt confident to nod. Lizzie with haste bought another round for him and herself. Kane looked from side to side for any glance of Sidney or Janet.

"Sidney's helping Carrie chose and Janet is . . . busy." Lizzie nodded over to Janet sitting on some man's lap. "What's up?" She could tell Kane had something to say.

"Do you think er. . ." He rubbed the back of his head. "What you said earlier . . ."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Lizzie knew that Kane would battle with this for quite a while.

"Sure." He nodded again.

"Well two secrets. The first one . . . Carrie isn't always as drunk as she seems." They both looked over at Sidney and Carrie singing loudly and dancing wildly to the third Ace of Base song in a row.

"I'd hate to see her when she's drunk." Kane winced.

"Oh she's drunk, but she plays up the drunkenness, pretends to be drunker than she is, honestly I think it's because she doesn't want anyone to think she's sober and judging them, she wants everyone to be having a good time."

"She seems to do a lot of that." Kane replied in a somber tone.

"What pretending to be drunk?"

"Pretending." Kane shrugged. "No one smiles that much and really means it."

"Oh . . . That's a nervous tick I think she's always smiles tat much, at least as long as I've known her. Sidney says not to talk about it though it makes her upset so I don't know." Lizzie shrugged. "But not my point! So she's drunk, fair to medium drunk. She isn't black out blithering idiot drunk. Which brings me to my second point. Kane that wasn't just a peck on the lips earlier that was a real deal kiss. Carrie is too scared to tell you but . . . and I did not tell you! Promise!"

"Promise." Kane was getting tired of nodding but it was better than contributing to the conversation.

"Carrie has feelings for you, like I guess a crush you could call it. . . I thought you'd be happier?" She was surprised that Kane had little to no reaction to her words.

"Why?"

"Why should you be happy?"

"Why does she have a crush on me?"

"Didn't really say too much but I figure the standard. Smart funny attractive. She says that you have a reverence about you, and that your willingness to stand out is something she admires . . .whatever that means, I think the hugs help."

"What?"

"Have you ever seen Carrie's face when you hug her? Talk about smiling." Lizzie grinned. Kane didn't say much else the rest of the night, getting lost in thought, before he knew it the bar was closing.

_'We're going home. What do I do now? This changes everything.'_ He was getting nervous.

_'I am such an idiot! Look what you went and done Carrie! Now I have to explain myself.' _Carrie gulped as they waited outside in the spring night air. When the cab finally arrived everyone filed in, Carrie seemed hesitant to sit on Kane's lap this time.

"So . . . what did the one tampon say to the other?" Janet laughed.

"Ugh what?" Sidney questioned but Janet couldn't stop cracking herself up.

"Nothing . . . they were both stuck up bitches." Carrie delivered the punch line to scattered laughter.

"You ruined it!"

"I saved it, jokes are all about comedic timing."

"That's it you're not invited to the after party!"

"After party?" Carrie shook her head, no one informed her that the drinking would continue. _'Well I could go . . . not indulge , sober up and think what I should say to Kane. It should be easy . . . it's not like I regret it, I could just tell him that I really like him. What would he think? Would he believe me?'_

"Alright you can go!" Janet was gone, obliterated, again laughing to herself. "Kane you're invited too! Sorry for earlier by the way." She added.

"Earlier?" Carrie was confused.

"Janet was-"

"I was trying to seduce your boyfriend!" Janet shrugged. "Don't get bent about it though, it was for you."

"Ah! . . . thanks?"

"You're welcome." Janet nodded as the cab stopped at the first hotel.

"Coming?" Sidney asked as he got out.

"No" Kane answered quickly.

"Carrie?"

"We need to talk." Kane grumbled as Carrie acquired her own seat.

"Now?" Carrie asked naively, knowing the answer already. Kane didn't speak he just stared at her.

_'Is she trying to sweep this under the rug?'_

"It's not kosher to bring your boyfriend to the hotel room of a woman who tried to seduce him earlier in the night. So I'll pass."

"You know Kane isn't actually your-"

"Goodnight."Carrie leaned out of the car and kissed Sidney on the cheek.

"Night I guess." Waving with one hand and scratching his head with the other he watched the car pull away.

"So." Carrie twiddled her thumbs nervously. "Do you think I'm a Ho?" She asked bluntly. _' Ho . . . underused word.' _She tried to keep her mind off her worries.

"What?" Kane was not expecting that question. "Don't listen to people like Edge and that Eric kid. You're nothing like that."

"I meant about . . . how I acted tonight." Carrie shrugged. "Pouncing on you out of nowhere like that, wasn't exactly classy but-" Carrie was cut short, Kane mustered all the confidence he had. He took Carrie by her shoulders and forcefully kissed her. It was an intense release, allowing himself to have what he wanted, allowing himself to be close to someone, affectionate with someone. In a lapse in the knowledge in his own strength he pushed her against the cab window, he quickly pulled back. "Ooof"

"Did I hurt you?" He was nervous that he had blown his only chance by causing her physical harm. Carrie didn't speak, she just shook her head no._ 'What do I do now?' _"Say something." Kane was feeling incredibly awkward.

"We're here." Was all she said as they came to a stop. They stood in the parking lot for a moment. Carrie looked like she was in deep thought.

"Carrie?" Kane was in his own personal hell not sure what was going on. Carrie stepping slowly closed the gap between the two of them, she outstretched her arms and did her best to wrap her arms around him, though he was far to broad for her to be successful, this caused Kane to laugh. Putting his hands under her arms he lifted her to the point they were eye to eye.

"This is alright? This is what we want?" Carrie tilted her head to the side still nervous.

"I'm not sure." Kane shrugged. When he first met Carrie he had no desire to get to know her much less grow to like her.

"Me either." Carrie on the other hand had wanted those things, but she was worried, that her luck would run out, that this deck of cards would crumble. It was safer not to move forward, but she didn't want to just be friends. "Won't know if we don't try." Carrie placed her hands behind Kane's neck pulling him into another kiss. Kane adjusted his hold, keeping her close by cradling the small of Carrie's back. He did not place her down as he carried her into the hotel. Kiss after kiss was exchanged in the lobby almost as they were fighting for intimate dominance, there was absolutely no care weather or not anyone was staring, there was absolutely no care about much of anything in that moment. However there was a complication as they reached the elevator, Kane was having trouble reaching the right button while still keeping a hold on Carrie. "You can put me down you know?" Carrie offered as she could see Kane fumble and grumble as he juggled her in one arm and pushing the button with the other.

"No." He answered quickly, smiling victoriously as the door swept open.

"No?" Carrie found said sly grin terribly endearing, downright attractive.

"Do you want me to put you down?" Kane's tight grasp loosened, he got worried he was squeezing her too tight.

"No." She trailed kisses down his neck. By the time they had reached their door, Kane was breathing heavy, his long suppressed urges boiling over, he felt Carrie everywhere. Lust had clouded over any sincere conversation they were going to have, that could wait till the next day. Kane didn't bother turning on the light. finally he let go of Carrie, she bounced once or twice on the bed causing her to giggle. She pulled off her shirt off throwing it at Kane's face, causing her to laugh again. He took a minute to admire her, receiving a full canvas of her skin, without touching her he felt the sensation of touching her. Carrie reached out a hand beckoning Kane to the bed. This was spiraling quickly. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker, it was expediting the process. Carrie reached the edge of Kane's shirt and pulled it over his head, she began tracing nonsensical shapes on his chest. Kane was glad Carrie was taking control he didn't have to worry about overstepping his bounds, didn't have to worry about hurting her and didn't want his inexperience to show. Carrie's hands moved to his back, starting at the end of his shoulder blades she grazed a trail downwards with her nails, Kane couldn't help but groan slightly as twinge of pain mixed with his bliss. Once she had gone as far as she could her hand followed his belt loops till she felt the button of his jeans, she skipped over it reaching down to feel him through his pants, so close but yet so far away. Kane pulled her hand off of him, he needed to breath.

"Kane? Is everything ok?" Carrie questioned as he just propped himself above her, staring at her.

"Katie I-"

"Oh my god!" Carrie put a hand over her mouth, nearly falling off the bed, she couldn't get away fast enough. She ran to the bathroom locking the door behind her. She turned on the faucet so he couldn't hear her as she began to cry, staring at herself in the mirror. _'Why am I never good enough for anyone? Just me? I'm always lost in someone else's shadow. What don't I have?'_

"Carrie." Kane had all but chased after her. He put a hand against the door, she couldn't fool him, he knew there were tears falling. He couldn't blame her. _'Why did I say her name? I wasn't thinking of her! I don't know why that happened. Was it something subconscious? Idiot!'_ He knew what he said next would fall on deaf ears but he said it anyway. "I'm sorry." He tried to speak through the crack on the door. " I don't know where that came from." He was shocked as the door opened. He took a step back, her face was bright red, she was sniffling heavily. He wanted to give her a hug, console her but she knew she currently wanted nothing to do with him. He felt like the scum of the earth.

"It's . . . it's ok . . . no biggie." She looked up and without fail there was a false smile on her crushed face. That plastered smile pierced through him more than the crying itself. "I think I just need some air . . . I'm going for a walk." She found her shirt pulled it on a left the room.


	7. nothing but memories and white lies

Kane sat in the chair by the window watching another rerun of the weakest link occasionally moving the curtain aside to see if Carrie would return. It had been a little over two days since she had stormed out. _'Long walk' _He rubbed his dry eyes, it had also been two days since he had slept, red skittles were all that was keeping him from crashing entirely. He had spent those sleepless hours contemplating what he would tell Carrie when he saw her next. _'She has to come back eventually. Right? All her stuff is here.' _He looked over to her green and white polka doted suitcase. _'Or she might just be so mad that she'll leave it behind. She'll leave it behind, just like me. She's going home to oregon by the end of the week.'_ He picked out a few more skittles. _'She's probably in their room. Their filling her head with shit. Sidney is saying I told you so! Janet is saying there are plenty of other horny fish in the sea. I wonder if Lizzie is even on my side? Or will she try to set Carrie back up with that Fisher again? Carrie will be sitting there with that damn smile on her face! I caused all this!'_ He punched a hole in the plaster wall beside him._ 'Katie . . . maybe this is her way of warning me.' _He very much believed that everyone is haunted by the ghosts of their past._ 'Or save her. Katie knows . . . knew' _His eyes clenched shut the sound of the car crash ringing in his ears._ 'That even the people I care most about, my parents, Katie, my un born child . . . i can't protect them . . . they all wither and die, I leave a wake of pain everywhere I go. Women equal pain, until they trust me then they can't hurt me, they're living on borrowed time, nothing but agony for them. For what? For me? For a monster?' _Kane punched the wall a second, a third a fourth time till he could feel the warmth of blood break through his skin. There was a knock at the door wiping away the smudges of red he stood up and walked over, hoping it was Carrie on the other side. _'Did she leave her key?' _His hope lead to disappointment as the door opened.

"You look like shit." Lita leaned against the door frame.

"You don't look so hot." The waitress planted down the third cup of coffee in front of Carrie. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah." She shrugged. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do I look like . . . something's missing?"

"Did you lose something?" The waitress looked from side to side.

"I don't know . . . maybe . . . must've been a long time ago. I don't remember." Carrie took a large gulp.

"Huh?" The waitress was now nervous Carrie was some tweaker off the streets, she began to drift away.

"Never mind." Carrie sighed. _' I must be missing something. I'm no Katie . . . no what was her name? Sarah? Sadie?" Carrie tried to remember the first woman that Fisher had left her for. I want to be good enough. But I never am. I'm doing my best to keep smiling, that's all that matters but even that's not good enough. I'm sure Katie has a million dollar smile, maybe that's what I don't have.' _She tried to smile but it was difficult, like she was fighting against intensified gravity, tears fell in her cup. Carrie was startled when she heard a plate clank against the table she was sitting at, looking up, sadness left and fear replaced it. The masked Kane in the flesh was sitting across from her. _' No one know's I'm here. This guy's a maniac who knows what he'll do. I'm all but defenseless I don't even have anywhere to run.' _She couldn't go back to her hotel room, Kane was there, and she couldn't go to her friend's room because she didn't want to talk about it, not even to them, she had been meandering around town for two days like a transient.

"Don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you." He could see her scanning the diner for exits. "Poor baby you've been crying." He reached out to wipe her puffy cheeks as she tried to pull back he leaned in and grabbed her by her shoulder squeezing it with crushing force. "I won't hurt you here, too many witnesses but remember you do have to leave eventually, you do have to sleep and who knows how I'll feel then." He let her go.

"What do you want?" She sighed, she was more or less drained of any fight, her eyes battled to stay open.

"I wan't to make a deal with you. Get back at big bad Kane for whatever it is he's done to you." She could see only his eyes but that was enough, she could see how confident he was that he had ensnared her.

"You're wasting your breath. Go away!"

"I said go away!" Kane began to slam the door but before he could Lita snaked her way inside his room.

"What happened here?" Lita saw the holes in the wall.

"None of your business!" Kane was pacing the floor._ 'This is the last thing I need right now.' _

"I have something to talk to you about alright? Where's Carrie?" Lita looked from right to left.

"Gone. What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"It's about Carrie and the whole contract thing, I think you're making a mistake and it may bite you in the ass. We should probably wait till she gets back though."

"She's not coming back." Kane replied with a yawn.

"What are you talking about? Kane what did you do?" Lita was starting to get concerned. "Did you . . . hurt her?"

"I said none of your business."

"I knew this would happen. You couldn't last two months? You two seemed to be getting along but then you had to ruin things didn't you. You deserve what's coming to you then. What hospital is she at?" Lita figured this was all partially her fault, she knew what Kane was capable of and still she threw Carrie at him.

"Hospital?" Kane's face lit up, going over what he had said it was easy to understand what got lost in translation. "She's not in the hospital." Kane shook his head. "I didn't hurt her . . . like that." He added before Lita assumed he had buried Carrie beneath a tree somewhere.

"Then how? Where is she?"

"Lita . . . did I ever . . . bring up Katie when we were together? Or at least when I thought we were together?" The thought left a sour taste in his mouth.

"I'm the one asking the questions. Where is she?"

"Not here! I don't know where. This is important Lita!"

"Katie . . . The name sounds familiar. You're not exactly much of a talker Kane." She scrunched her nose trying to remember. "Katie . . . Katie . . . was that the girl you were so sorry about? Yeah sort of." Lita nodded.

"Sort of?"

"You had nightmares a lot. Always woke me up all that tossing and turning, you would sometimes talk in your sleep. Repeating over and over how sorry you were to this Katie. Did you do the same thing to Carrie?" Kane remained silent at first rubbing a hand over his head.

"Something like that but . . . worse. You should go." He nodded over at the door. _'This has been going on for longer than I thought. How long? What does this all mean?'_

"Worse? Kane don't you remember I cam here to talk to you about-"

"I remember the contract and how I'm making a mistake. Right now this is exactly the right choice." Kane shrugged before sitting back in his chair, the anguish was written all over his face. Lita was dumbfounded, the monster really did have emotions. For just a moment it made her feel bad for what she had done to him, and amazed that Carrie who he had just met was able to bring those emotions to the surface. On the flip side she was not surprised that this was all going to hell in a hand basket. There's only so much of a grounded friendship, let alone a relationship that could form in under a month. Lita thought there was still a chance though, she decided she would talk to Carrie later, try to talk her off the ledge.

_'First thing's first. Edge is over his head and I need to help him out' _"Idiot it doesn't matter what you two want."

"What?"

"Edge is demanding that all parties be present at this contract signing, in the ring on monday."

"So? Do I have to wear a suit?" Kane was getting annoyed.

"This isn't funny Kane. Aren't you a bit curious as to why he would go through all that trouble?"

"Curious? About your plan? No." Carrie took another large swig of her coffee.

"Black." The masked man looked into her cup. "I forgot your from Oregon, right by washington you must be a coffee elitist then. I mean you live right on the border right? Gresham?"

"Do you have a point?"

"See you are curious."

"How did you find me here?" Carrie only then realized that seeing as she hadn't told anyone where she was going it was too large of a large coincidence that he would show up at the very same diner as her.

"You've been here sobbing for quite some time, and I've been right outside, till I felt the moment was right." He pointed out the window to the parking lot. "And here it is vulnerable, weak and all alone."

"I'm not agreeing to any plots against Kane." She folded her arms against her chest.

"It was a long shot I suppose. Especially after how close you two have gotten. Hell I thought you two were going to lay out in the lobby and do your business there the other night. Sort of disappointed you didn't, that would have been interesting to watch, more so than you running out crying. You can tell me what happened I'm a good listener. Now you know the closer you get to the flame the more it hurts when you get burned. Come on Carrie, right now I'm your only friend, you can tell me. Kane obviously doesn't have your back, he obviously doesn't care about your well being, your feelings. If he did don't you think he would have found you before I did? He might not care but I do, anything going on in Kane's life is of great importance to me, and right now, the only thing going on in his life is you." He poked her in the nose with his oversized pointer finger. Carrie was choking on tears, feeling more alone, more beaten down, just exhausted.

"Who is Katie?" Carrie asked quietly, she needed answers.

"Katie Vick?" To this Carrie just shrugged, she only knew the one name, Katie. "Oh she was a peach. What did Kane tell you about the love of his life?"

"Nothing." Carrie slouched in her seat.

"She was beautiful, smart, a cheerleader actually. Kane was head over heels for her, she was everything! Unlike you who right now is a blubbering pool of nothing." He felt the need to add insult to injury. "But don't you fret, she's not much competition now."

"Did she break up with him? Is she the one who got away?"

"More like the one he put away. Carrie, she's dead." He smirked as she saw Carrie's tired eyes pop open. "Now I've got your attention. It gets better though, she didn't exactly die of natural causes. Ask him yourself, Kane killed that poor girl. She didn't even make it to the hospital by the time Kane waved down help. He was absolutely covered in her blood when they found him. The police report is vague at best incriminating at worst. No one had been able to prove he murdered her, or that he . . . you know desecrated the corpse. That part's a rumor but most rumors are based in fact. Her loss is your gain though. It must still sting being second string to a dead chick huh?" he watched her bit her lip, holding back whatever it was she wanted to say. He sat up, towering over her. "I'll let you think about things. Give you a head start running of seven minutes, don't worry I'll cover your tab. I have a chore to get to, I'll bump it to ten minutes before I go looking for you again, I will find you and I won't take no for an answer to my demands. Go" He took her by her shoulder once again and gave it one last bear like squeeze tossing her out of the booth. Carrie scrambled to her feet, she began to run, burning what little steam she had left she knew she wouldn't make it too far. "Tick tock tick tock." He laughed as she scurried

Kane had finally gotten Lita to leave, only to have his quiet interrupted yet again, the phone rang. "Carrie?"

"Wrong guess again, get it before the buzzer you win a prize. Tick tock tick-"

"What do you want?"

"It's not what I want it's what you want. Carrie . . . or s it Katie?"

"Where is she?" Kane knew he must have found her.

"Which one? I hear Katie is buried in Tennessee somewhere."

"Where is Carrie? If you hurt her-"

"No you seem to do a bang up job at that all on your own. Well maybe I shoved her a little too hard. But we don't know our own strength do we?"

"I'm going to rip you limb from limb."

"You shouldn't talk so violently. You have a reputation now, I told Carrie how you murdered Katie."

"It was an accident!"

"Her parents didn't see it that way did they. As I was told they kicked you out of the viewing."

Kane's mind flashed back to that moment. "Get out of here you freak!" It was her father rushing at Kane as he entered the door.

"I'm sorry! It was an accident!"

"I told her to stay away from you. I knew you were trouble just waiting to happen. You killed my baby girl and I will never forgive you!" The distraught father swung at Kane, hitting his still bruised cheek.

"Joseph Joseph calm down. You need to leave." Katie's mother pulled at her husband's arm as she ordered Kane to go.

"She had dreams an aspirations she was going to help nut cases like you!"

That flashback ended and a new one ensued like a show that had just come back from commercial. He remembered the class he had met Katie in. The teacher Mr. Hargett was reading their assignments out loud, what everyone wanted to be in the future, what their dream job were. Katie's had already been read, a therapist, nothing remarkable to Kane at the time. A few more doctors lawyers and movie stars were spouted off till they got to Kane. "It's blank. Why would you turn in a paper with your name and nothing else? Did you have trouble grasping the assignment you could have-"

"I understood, I'm not dumb." Kane replied. "And that's my answer. I don't have any dreams. I'll be the same thing in five years as I am right now, a monster. I don't have a goal, no special skill set. I don't dream, ever." Kane explained. An uncomfortable silence fell over the room, how do you respond to that? A collective breath of relief was let out when the bell rang, and everyone rushed out the door.

"Kane! Kane wait!" It was Katie calling out for him, she reached out and grabbed his arm. For a moment the memory flashed forward to Carrie holding his hand time and time again. "What?" He had turned around to see Katie's face whited morphed to Carrie's only for a second.

"You weren't serious in there were you?"

"Very serious what was I supposed to do lie? Tell everyone I wanted to be a rodeo clown or some bullshit like that. I don't dream, I have nightmares but I don't ever dream."

"What are you good at?"

"Huh?"

"You said you had no skill set. But you have to be good at something."

"Destruction. I'm going to lunch now so-" Kane was feeling uncomfortable.

"Me too can I sit with you?"

"Whatever." Kane kept walking, not slowing his stride, Katie had to jog to keep up.

"Turn lemons into lemonade! Maybe destruction isn't always bad"

"You're still following me?" The uncomfortableness was mixing with annoyance.

"I'm not following you, we both have lunch right now. You just said that I could sit with you remember?"

"Why?"

"Why did you say yes? I don't know maybe you want a friend." The two sat down at an Kane's table.

"What do you want to sit with me for?"

"No one should go without a dream. I'm going to help you find it Kane. You have a gift Kane I know you do. You're not a monster!"

Real time Kane had dropped the phone to the ground, he was holding his head together, he was getting nauseous as his memories flashed before his eyes.

"Not without you!" Carrie's voice pierced his ears, from only a few nights ago.

"Did you not listen to a word I said?"

"I heard you. I wan't to prove to you Kane, that there are people who see the man inside you, not just the monster!"

"Kane . . . I want to see you."

"I'm right here Katie." He waved his hand at her as he walked her home from school. Months had passed since the previous memory of her, the two had grown closer, inseparable.

"No, you're not."

"Huh?"

"You're hiding, behind that mask." For a moment Carrie stood next to Katie one of her fake smiles on her face.

"I need it! I've always needed it!" Kane rose his voice at Katie for the first time that day.

"That's a nervous tick. I think she always smiles that much at least as long as I've known her, Sidney says not to talk about it though, it makes her upset so I don't know."

Remembering the moment Kane grew angry at Lizzie's words. _'They just abandon her when the going gets tough? Not willing to look beneath the surface to help her?' _His head continued to swirl.

"No you don't need it! Come here." Katie took his hand forcefully and led him behind her home. "Take off your mask Kane. Whatever you're afraid of showing me . . . you don't have to be scared. Please."

"Fine." Kane's hands fumbled behind the straps of his mask.

"Stop doing that!"

"What?"

"Smiling like that!"

"I'm not allowed to smile?"

"Not like that."

"Like what?"

"Like . . . never mind forget it."

_'I'm a hypocrite I didn't push to help her either. What kind of friend am I? What was I doing trying to be more than that? I didn't help her. Katie would have.'_

Kane had removed his mask, he cringed as the cool air hit his dirty skin. He felt his stomach turn as Katie looked up at him.

"See? You can do anything Kane! You're not a monster. You're a good person." She had leaned up and kissed him.

"Katie?"

"Kane, now that I see the real you. . . I want to ask you-"

"Do you want me to put it back on?" He quickly pulled it back to his face, but she pulled it back down.

"No. I want to ask you out to go see a movie maybe . . if you're ok with that." Katie was blushing. They dated for two years after that day.

"There's a homecoming party tonight." Katie answered Kane as to why she was so dressed up.

"Do you need a ride?"

"Kane I want you to come with me. Please?"

"I'm busy." He quickly responded. He'd go to the movies, out to dinner, the zoo, the mall, but social gatherings were where Kane had drawn the line.

"Busy? With what. I know you don't have homework, we finished it during study hall remember?"

"Ship in a bottle."

"What?"

"I'm busy building a ship in a bottle."

"Kane that's ridiculous."

"You said I needed a hobby, I opened the package recently. A nurse gave it to me when I was younger, a birthday present. To teach me not to . . . teach me to be more careful."

Kane still had that ship in a bottle all those years later, he hadn't touched a single piece since that day.

"I'm glad you have a hobby Kane. I don't ask for much. Please come out." She had persisted.

"Fine." He eventually relented, he wanted nothing more than for her to be happy.

_'Stay happy Carrie.' _He remembered how Carrie had smiled that night at the bar.

Kane also remembered how Katie had smiled proud of him, even though he was doing nothing more than sulking in the corner of the party. "Hey big guy!"

"Huh?" Kane was surprised anyone other than Katie was speaking to him.

"You look like a tank. Want to be my case race partner?"

"Case what?"

"Teams of two, first group to finish a case wins. You in?"

"Uh." Kane looked nervously at Katie, but she was off being the beautiful social butterfly she was. "I guess." Kane nodded, he didn't want to lose Katie and if he spent his life sulking in corners he worried he would.

"We got this." The strange classmate patted him on the back. They did have it, they had won. Kane had felt triumphant, only a little while passed before he and Katie were reunited.

"Kane you're having fun!"

"A little." He shrugged, wobbling slightly where he stood.

"Would you be mad if I said I wanted to go home now?"

"No."He shook his head lazily.

"Did you throw up?" Only then did Kane notice there was vomit on his pants.

"No." He shook his head again. "Carl did though."

"Carl?"

"My race partner."

"You made a friend?! I'm so happy for you." She kissed him on the cheek. "Will you be ok to drive home?"

"I'll be fine." Kane said without second thought, he felt untouchable in that moment. He had friends, he had overcome the stigma that he was a freak, and he had Katie. He also couldn't have been more wrong, he was not fine, not untouchable and he was about to lose everything he had gained. Katie would be dead within the hour.

"Lenny? Earth to Lenny!" Kane could barely hear the voice still on the other end of the line, he scrambled to pull the receiver up to his ear.

"Where is she?" He would not let Carrie be torn from him the same way Katie had been.

"No appreciation for the of mice and men reference? Quite rude."

"Tell me where she is." Kane demanded yet again.

"I don't know."

"Like hell."

"Don't get me wrong. I'll find her. I have plans for her, I'll take her kicking and screaming if I have to. It would probably be more exciting that way don't you think? Haven't worked out all the details. She never gave me an answer about if she would help me. She'll see it my way eventually. You have experience. What does it take to break her? Oh oh tell me first, did you seal the deal? What does she look like? Does she compare to Katie? On second thought don't tell me, it'll ruin the surprise." The voice was giddy and rambling.

"Don't touch her!"

"Then you better find her first. Everything is set up for what I plan to do, it all lays on your shoulders big boy,what will happen, and to who."

"She has nothing to do with this. If you want my attention you have it! You want a fight, in or out of the ring you have it!"

"I do . . . but I also don't want to fight the new, weak, pathetic Kane. I want you the way you were when you wore the skin I have adopted. I want you angry and out for vengeance! I might not be able to destroy your body like your brother did, but I can destroy the only thing that you have, Carrie." There was a web outlaid and Kane was blind to the strings. The man Kane was talking to had the mind of a villain pulled straight from a western movie. Figuratively the masked man was tying Carrie down to the train tracks. Kane had to play the unfamiliar role, he had to be the hero. "If you're still sitting there, you must not be all that concerned, maybe I misjudged. I'm not bluffing, I am going to go hunting for her now, If I were you I'd run to your car and try to be the better blood hound." There was a click and the call was over. _'What is he thinking?'_

Kane threw on his jacket and ran out his door, he was panting by the time he reached the rental. As he was about to open the door something caught his eye. _'Carrie?'_ He saw the woman curled up in a fetal position on the back seat, he tapped on her window.

"Ahhh! Ow" She woke up from a short rest in a fright, but the quick snap up agitated her bruised shoulder. Kane opened the door and peaked in.

"How much does it hurt?" He scowled, he had let her out of his sight, he had let his nemesis get to her and now she was in pain.

"Not . . . not so bad." Still holding her shoulder she winced a smile.

"If I promise to tell you everything . . . about Katie . . . about everything" It was all fresh in his mind. "Will you tell me why . . . you insist on smiling? You don't have to do that Carrie, that has to hurt more than your shoulder." He saw unease sweep over her face.

"I don't need to know anything more about Katie, I know all I need to know-"

"It was an accident Carrie, it was all my fault but I didn't mean for her to-"

"That's not what I mean. I know you didn't murder her, that dude has more than one screw loose, can't believe anything he says. The only thing I needed to know . . . and it's become glaringly obvious. Is that I'm not her." Carrie's voice cracked but her smile remained.

"Stop that! I know you're not her, when I first met you I did . . . I did see her but I know you're not her. I don't want you to be her! I want you to be you. You can't do that if you keep hiding behind-"

"Bull!" Carrie shouted, her tiredness made the tears easier to come by.

"What?"

"That's bull! You do want Katie and not me. It's not just you, it's everyone! No one wants the real me, because you know what it's not there!"

"Not there?"

"It's all a void. I'm nothing! Sit down shut up and smile! Because you're nothing but a waste of space and a burden."

"Did he tell you that?"

"I've heard that, since I was twelve Kane, and he was right."

"Who?"

"It's not important who."

"I'm making it important." Kane would not let up, for a moment Carrie's face was contorted in contemplation.

"His name was Nathan OK? He's was step father. He might have been an ass, and he was probably just drilling it in to me because he wanted to hurt my feelings, but even assholes are right sometimes. I've been nothing but a burden all my life. On him, the kid he never wanted, on Sidney's family who had to take me in, on Fisher and his lifestyle that I tried to change and now on you! I'm a neon sign that says damsel in distress and he's coming for me."

"Carrie I-"

"Go ahead say it, I'm not a burden I'm not nothing, I've heard that time and time again too, but I know a white lie when I hear one."

"When I'm done with that goon after me, this Nathan is next on my list. You're not nothing." Kane's eyes were not sympathetic but angry.

"I don't need you going after Nathan I don't have a hit list that I expect you to go out and take care of!"

"So is everything that happened in these last weeks been nothing? Was all that a white lie too?"

"No but-"

"If you're just nothing why is he trying so hard to destroy you?"

"Destroy me?"

"He isn't playing around Carrie."

"What do you think he's going to try and kill me? Murder is a bit drastic don't you think?" Carrie laughed.

"I don't know what to think." He grabbed his head again, his brain was scrambled. "Like you said he's got screws loose. He wants me raving mad like I was when I first came after my brother. People died in that fire Carrie, people I cared about! you might be a means to and end."

"Means to an end . . . sounds about right." She shrugged.

"You can mope around and feel sorry for yourself, or you can let me protect you. I know you're mad but-"

"I'm not mad Kane, it was bound to happen. If nothing else I'm replaceable. I told a white lie to myself. That this would be different, that we would be different but in the end just more of the same, once a nothing always a nothing."

"If I didn't . . .didn't know it was wrong . . .If I didn't care…." He tried to take relaxing breaths as he admitted that fact. "I'd punch you in the face right now." Kane was seething. _' How can she think this way? How could she live like this? How could she be so wrong for so long?'_

"Kane you don't-"

"If you say I don't care Carrie I don't know what I'll do. I can't hold myself back much longer."

"Just stop it ok?"

"Stop what?"

"Caring, really it's not worth the trouble." Carrie sat there defeated.

"It? You're not an it and you're not nothing!"

"I-" She didn't know what to say. '_For someone who is stuck in his past he won't let go of right now. Why is he fighting so hard? Why did I let this happen? I always do, I always grow attached to people when I know I shouldn't, I'm a leach.'_

"I'll say whatever I wanr till I'm blue in the face Carrie. I'm not going to ask you to let me protect you, because you've gone and given up, but I'm telling you I won't let anyone hurt you again, not even me."

"You?"

"When I said her name, I don't . . . I didn't know why I did." Kane got in the front seat of the car to turn on the heat._ 'She must be cold.' _"When I first met you, it brought back memories . . . that I had buried . . . I saw her in you, in everyone I looked at, Katie was back in my life, she still is and damn it I can't help that. . . . But I won't make the same mistake twice of confusing you two, you're not Katie and I don't feel the same way about you as I did for Katie." He watched her eyes drop to the floor. "It's completely different, it's completely new, I didn't know how to deal with it so I looked back to the only person who ever helped me move forward, thats why, I needed her again."

"I' m sorry . . . that I made you relive all that, it must have been hard." Carrie's voice was timid, barely a whisper.

"It was hard, but nothing has ever come easy to me. Trust didn't come easy, care didn't come easy, allowing myself to be happy didn't come easy to a monster, a machine. I'm still working on it ok?"

"Letting go is easy. A lot easier than you think."

"You're not getting it. Easy was never in the deck I was given, and I don't want it or need it, I'm stronger than easy. Letting go isn't going to happen Carrie and that's final." Kane began to pull out of the parking lot.

"Where are we going?"

"My odds aren't good . . . at making this better, at getting through to you . . . but a trip to IHOP might help those odds." Kane had a victorious smile on his face when Carrie sat up in her seat, eagerness in her eyes.

"Waffles?"

"As many waffles as you can eat."

"Challenge accepted." She could feel her stomach grumble at the prospect, this made Kane laugh.

"It's too bad you know?"

"What?"

"That you do't have a hit list. You're good at riling people up, and I don't know if anyone told you destruction is my strong suit. You line them up I'd knock them down. We'd make a good team."

"Yeah we would." She yawned.


	8. back story and brawl

"This phone call is going to hurt worse than anything that creep could ever do to me." Carrie gave a deep sigh.

"You sure you don't want to take a nap first?" Kane was tired and was equally dreading Carrie's conversation.

"Maybe I should, it's late right?" Carrie tried to rationalized with false logic, even though they had spent roughly four hours at IHOP, it was only seven.

"Late enough. Plus we can still catch the tail end of the marathon."

"It's still on? This day really is looking up!"

"Doesn't take much does it?" Kane rolled his eyes.

"No not really. Uh Kane what is that?" Carrie pointed at the holes in the wall.

"I got angry." He shrugged, he felt a bit embarrassed that she could see the evidence of him losing control. He had worked all these years to be a self contained monster, he wanted to always been in control, at any cost.

"I see that." Carrie walked over to Kane and took his hand in her's she could see the still irritated skin, she gave it a quick peck. "All better." She grinned playfully.

"Yeah something like that." _'It's not all better, I really fucked up, I don't know if she can still . . . forgive me. To make things worse, he's out there somewhere, lurking, waiting.'_

"Don't worry." She could see Kane getting worked up.

"Don't worry? When are you going to take this seriously Carrie? He really wants to hurt you and I-"

"Maybe in the morning I'll worry." Carrie yawned. "I don't want to go to sleep on bad thoughts. Only good things, like turtles and skittles oh and bubble wrap!"

"Odd ball." Kane watched as Carrie dropped to the bed.

"Really? Am I that weird?"

"And then some." Kane nodded.

"Yes!" Carrie pumped her hand up in victory. Kane chuckled, she definitely walked to the beat of her own drum.

_'She is weird. She's a freak'_ "You know that right?"

"What?"

"You're a freak."

"Wow heavy word my friend."

"Freaks are better than nothing though." Kane would eventually get through to her, eventually build her up where life had broken her down, unfortunately he had such a small window to work with.

"Freaks are good people." Carrie nodded, again she yawned. "Good company. I like freaks."

"So . . ."

"You too Kane." Carrie knew what he was thinking. "I'm not over what happened, that might take longer than the time we have, but I do like you . . . for the freak you are."

"I want you to come back."

"huh?" Her head popped up.

"You're going home in a couple of days but . . . I've been thinking . . . if you . . . if you want to, when it's all over when it's safe and I send him away in a body bag, I'd like you to come back. Edge isn't the only one with sway, I'm sure I could convince the company to reinstate you."

"You really mean that? You seemed to be chewing your arm off to get rid of me not too long ago. I know we muddied that water with all this . . . stuff going on. I don't want your judgement to be clouded, saying something you'll-"

"Regret? I won't regret it Carrie, I've thought about it a lot. I know we don't have what . . . we never really had in the first place." He shrugged. _'It had been right there, right in the palm of my hand and I screwed up. We were so close. Was that my only chance?'_

"See what I'm talking about? Muddied waters?"

"Even before all the mud I . . . liked having someone . . . having you along with me. Someone to talk to, someone who can put up with all my . . . issues." He pointed to the broken wall. '_She wasn't afraid of disturbed, she understood me . . . a freak like me. How do you deal with a monster? How do you get along with a machine?'_

"A friend." Carrie summed it up.

"Yeah." Kane shrugged, he didn't have much use for friends, but Carrie was different, he felt that things would be empty without her._ 'Like it used to be._' He remembered the motions he went through every day before Carrie came along. Eat Sleep Destroy. That was all he did, he didn't talk to anyone go anywhere do anything, it was the same shit day after day. _'Freaks are good company.' _Kane silently agreed with her. "So?" He waited patiently for her answer to his proposal.

"I-" She was cut off by the ringing of the phone. "Uh oh"

"Don't touch it!" Kane walked cautiously over to the phone. 'Is it him again?' He picked up the receiver.

"Hello"

"Put Carrie on the phone!" A voice boomed.

"She's tired."

"Me Me Me my problems! put her on the god damn phone!"

"Listen you worthless piece-" Kane was silenced as Carrie pulled the phone from his hand, she knew what was up.

"Sidney?"

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

"Dude, phone works just fine no need to yell." She winced as her ear drums shook.

"Is that her? Is she ok?" Lizzie could be heard in the background.

"She's peachy just too fucking lazy and inconsiderate to keep her plans or call her friends to let them know she's alive!"

"Let me talk to her!" Janet called out, then all that could be heard was rustling, smacking, cursing and shoving.

"They're wrestling over the phone." Carrie whispered to Kane who was sitting on the edge of the bed curious as to why she was holding the phone at such a length.

"Hang up. See how long it takes those idiots to realize." Kane's eyes were falling.

"You take a nap Kane. I'll go over there and suffer the impending wrath." Carrie paused to hear if the fighting was over, it wasn't.

"No." Kane shook the sleep from his mind, stood up, groaning as he stretched his fatigued muscles.

"Kane you need rest."

"So do you."

"They're my friends, if I don't go over there, they'll come over here and I don't think you're in the right mood to be in the same room as Sidney." '_You're never in the right mood.' _

"I can't let you go out alone. It's not safe, with him out there. I meant it when I said I'd protect you. If you say it's fine because you'll be with your friends I will punch a new hole in that wall. I wouldn't trust them to take care of my pet rock."

"You have a pet rock?"

"I'm not a cute and fuzzy type of person if you haven't noticed, me and animals never really got along."

"Does it have a name?" Carrie wanted to pry further, lighten the mood but finally the fighting on the other end had calmed.

"Carrie!"

"We're coming over, you better have a-"

"Don't come to us, we'll come to you!" Carrie laughed nervously. "We'll be there soon bye girl bye." Carrie hastily hung up the phone. "Sure you want to go?"

"No." Kane would rather get a tooth canal rug free than walk into that pigeon coop. "If you're going I'm going. you'd better keep them in check, I have a bone to pick with them." Kane warned as he put on his coat and opened the door.

"This should be fun!" Carrie exclaimed with sarcasm.

"Knock knock!" Carrie taped the door softly. "Sorry!" was the first word out of her mouth when the door opened.

"Carrie!" Lizzie whipped open the door catching Carrie in a hug.

"Ow Ow!"

"Watch her shoulder!" Kane pulled Carrie back protectively.

"How'd you hurt it?"

"Is that why you didn't pick up the phone to call us? You know you have another arm dumb ass!" Sidney snapped. Once Carrie had ditched their plans the other day he was ticked and when no one answered the door or the phone he was livid. Kane had blocked their every outlet, he had ignored their banging on the door, he could hear them shout and bicker. He would pick up the phone and hang up when he heard one of their voices on the other end. They had been more of a bother than usual, they had only reminded him of Carrie. "You know sometimes I-"

"I'm sorry Sidney I really am. There were extenuating circumstances."

"You." Kane walked over to Sidney and grabbed him by the throat.

"Kane! Calm down! He has every right to be mad at me just let him go!" Carrie pleaded.

"We need to have a talk." He didn't turn to her as he squeezed tighter on Sidney's neck.

"He can't talk if he can't breath!" Carrie was dumbfounded. '_Where is this coming from?' _Kane let go of Sidney only to grab his collar, Kane dragged the gasping Sidney to the bathroom and locked the door behind them.

"Open up! Carrie get him to open the door!" Lizzie panicked.

"I . . . I can't." She knew any attempt would be futile. "He won't hurt Sidney."_ 'I think.'_ She was not fully confident, her confidence was knocked down further as she heard a thump against the door "I hope." She rephrased the statement.

"Are you insane?" Sidney coughed as Kane held him against the door.

"Are you stupid?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"How could you do that to her?"

"What? To who? You're not making any sense freak!"

"Don't call me that!" Kane pulled Sidney back only to slam him again. _'He can't call me that. He doesn't know the first thing about being a freak!'_ "How could you let her think she's nothing." Kane slammed sidney again. "How could you let Carrie smile all the time you saw it-" Another crash. "You knew it and you didn't do anything. You have no idea how much she hurts do you?" And again. "I want more than anything to show you that pain!" He went to slam him again but only dropped him on the floor. "But I can't." Kane's face was red, his blood boiling, he clenched his fists trying to contain himself.

"I tried to tell her-"

"You didn't try hard enough. What do you think would happen if those roles were switched? Huh?"

"I . . ." Sidney was holding his injured back. "She would try too. Don't act like you know anything about is." It took all Sidney's power to stand. "Carrie and I are best friends, there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. I wouldn't let them take her away. I could have let them throw her in to foster care. We were twelve what did I know at the time, all I knew is that she would leave and I wouldn't let that happened. I went on a god damn hunger strike till my parents would talk about it. We took her in even though it was hard on the family-"

"Is that where she got the idea that she was a burden? To sit down shut up and-"

"You shut your face before I shut it for you." Sidney punched Kane in the face with little to no effect. "She wasn't a burden we never said that! My parents love her as much as if she was their flesh and blood daughter. I didn't know-"

"Didn't know what? You didn't see that lifeless smile on her face?"

"I did, and I asked her about it. At first she said it was because she missed her mom. It made sense what young girl doesn't miss her mom?" Sidney went from angry to somber. "Her mom was the bomb too, she was the cool mom. Carrie's mom let her dye her hair green when she was seven. How cool is that? she would put a post it note in her lunch box that said **Be you** every day " Sidney remembered Carrie's mother, he missed her too, he saw a lot of her mother in Carrie. Kane didn't answer he just stood there motionless.

_'She's never said anything about her mother. I never asked. I don't know much at all about Carrie. Am I as bad as they are?'_

"But then I realized it wasn't just that she missed her mom it was that her mom had left a hole inside her. All that love and encouragement was gone, no one was there to tell her it was OK to be her, that people would love her for who she was. Nathan just made things worse. He was fine when her mother was alive and then he was _'stuck'_ with her. She wasn't his child, she was just a reminder that his wife was gone. He became distant, angry, he would be gone for weeks at a time leaving Carrie alone. My dad says he's a lousy drunk but all we really know is that he's an ass. She didn't tell us for years, she held it all in, because she felt like that . . . like nothing. He had drilled it in her impressionable head, that she was nothing but a burden. Maybe he pushed her away like that because he was hurting too, dealing with his own demons but that's no excuse! Sit down Shut up and Smile she told me that was her motto, that everything was fine if she could just do that. I tried to tell her that wasn't normal, but she insisted that everyone was happier when that was the way things were. She said that smiling made everything a little easier, at least no one looked at her like a _'pity party for one.'_ She wanted to be normal and Nathan said she'd never be normal, she was a_ 'burden.'_ Nothing anyone wanted just something they all put up with. There were no encouraging notes saying be you any more, only Nathan telling her to blend in with the crowd because no one really cared. Eventually the adults caught on, and we took her away from him but the damage was done. She used to cry in the bathroom at night or at school at random times and then one day it happened."

"What happened?"

"She stopped crying . . . she only smiled. She said she had run out of tears. Every once in a while she cries or gets angry like any normal person would but for the most part, from that point on all she did was smile. You didn't know any of that did you? You start to like her and now you're her white knight and we're the bad guys. We just ignored it? I didn't just try . . . I'm still trying. " Sidney unlocked the door and walked out.

"Hey Sidney you're alive!" Carrie was pleasantly surprised. "Can I borrow this?"

"The bop it? Go for it." He smiled, he did care for Carrie and he didn't care what Kane had to say about it.

"Sweet." Carrie began pushing buttons.

"So what kept you from killing him?" Janet asked Kane who had been all but silent for a while now.

"Tired." Kane replied bluntly. He walked over to Carrie and put a hand on her good shoulder. She looked up at him.

"Are you OK Kane?" He seemed not totally there.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She nodded, though pouted as he pulled her game away. "Hey it was my turn!"

" When will you tell me about yourself?"

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know . . . I want to know you better. I don't have any friends all I-"

"You've got us." Lizzie had been eavesdropping.

"What?" Kane frowned, he had wanted to talk to just Carrie.

"You got Carrie, you got us! We're a package deal" Janet patted Kane on the shoulder. "Come on, you like us a little right?!"

"You're all a collective pain in my ass." Kane grumbled. "I can't shake you, trust me I've tried."

"I will read between the lines there and take that as a Yes." Janet laughed.

"Whatever." Kane shrugged. _'They ride my last nerve, but they have their uses'. They make her happy.' _He glanced over to Sidney who was staring him down from across the room_. 'If they're important to Carrie then I'll deal with them . . .they could be worse I guess. I can try.'_ "Lizzie Do you . . . have the T.V on?"

"No but what do you want to watch?" Lizzie was glad Kane was being slightly approachable.

"Weakest link is on."

"Seriously?" Sidney scoffed, he hated that show, for one reason only.

"Shut up I love that show!" Carrie shooed off Sidney's negativity.

"I know! You watch it every thursday. EVERY thursday there's more than one channel Carrie!"

"Do you actually like it Kane? Or do you just like it because Carrie does?" Janet was curious. _'Does he have any likes of his own? He just seems to go with whatever Carrie likes. He's kind of being a pushover.'_

"It's a show, it's on late, so are we." Kane shrugged. _'A bit of both.' _The first thing Carrie and him had ever had in common was the interest in the game show. They didn't have to talk so it had made it easier to spend time together. Kane had gotten used to her company over that show. He and her gre competitive over who got the most answers right, who was getting voted off, it was their first baby steps to friendship. They had held hands when watching it anxiously, the first baby steps to being more than friends.

"Here." Sidney threw Carrie the remote, she hastily turned on the T.V and flipped through the channels, sitting in front of the bed.

"Yes!" Carrie grinned at the sight._ 'Something normal for a change.' _She let out a deep sigh. "Sit sit!" Carrie patted the ground next to her.

"Me? Or him?" Kane wasn't sure if she was talking to him or Sidney, both the girls were already on their bed.

"I'm still fucking pissed." Sidney slouched in a chair, distancing himself from the group.

"Really? I said I was sorry. What do I have to do to get off your shit list?"

"It wasn't your fault stop apologizing. Just watch your show." Kane glared over at Sidney._ 'Best friends . . . must be something complicated because I just don't get it.' _

"Get over yourself. Just because you're big doesn't mean your the end all be all, grand wizard of everything." Sidney was growing annoyed at Kane intruding on his and Carrie's conversations. It had been quite some time since he had been forced to share her attention with another man. Someone who felt like they knew what was best for her, that they could protect her better Sidney would not be so easily replaced. _'You're being stupid Sidney, she couldn't replace me if she wanted to, I'm her brother and that's that. I can't tell if Kane is worse for her than Fisher. Fisher's a douche but he never tried to get between me and Carrie. Kane seems to care in his own creepy overbearing way but he doesn't seem . . . not seems, he doesn't respect me at all.' _He stopped inner monologuing when he heard Carrie snicker.

"Grand Wizard I like that." Carrie reached out for a high five. "Remember look at the elbow!"

"You don't have to tell me every time." Sidney cracked a smile as their hands collided.

"Pssst Sidney!" Carrie beckoned him over.

"Can't tell me from over here?"

"It's some stupid best friend secret?" Kane rolled his eyes, he really didn't understand it at all. He did on the other hand understand that anything he said would rile Sidney to action and vice versa.

"Just because you don't have any friends doesn't mean you have to be such a buzz kill." Sidney scoffed. Kane went to stand but Carrie put a hand to his chest to keep him seated. "What is it?" Sidney crouched next to Carrie.

"I really am sorry." She whispered.

"Still don't forgive you, but I'll get over it."

"What do you want an apology written in blood?" Kane went to stand a second time but he again was held back.

"Sidney this is the secret part." Carrie whispered even lower. Sidney took off his sweat shirt and held it between Carrie and Kane as a curtain.

_'They're talking about me right in front of my face.' _Kane was getting angry.

"Would you be mad at me?"

"If what?"

"You know if me and Kane-"

"You already made out in the bar. Did you guys have sex that night? Are you pregnant is that why you couldn't come talk to me? Whatever choice you-" He was hushed by a finger put to his lips.

"I'm not pregnant." Carrie tried to calm Sidney.

"Good because I'm not babysitting that demon seed." Sidney sighed.

"So then me and Kane dating . . . is a No in your book?" Carrie looked to her friend, her brother for advice. Kane and her obviously had something between them and she wanted to try and peruse it again but she wasn't completely sure.

"Absolutely not." Sidney replied emphatically. "That could be possibly the worst decision you could ever make . . . ever."

_'Guess I should have seen that coming.'_ Carrie bit her lip.

"But if you do go with that HORRIBLE decision I'll still be here for you. If I have to take copious amounts of steroids to bulk up and beat him down when shit hits the fan, so be it. If you could back me when I dated that girl who smelled like burnt rubber and was a total bitch-"

"The girl that had the position a day calendar. Who scratched her name in your car, then I wrapped her car in gift wrap each day for three months, till she paid for your repairs. What was her name?"

"Margaret or something like that . . . off topic. You got my back every day of the week and I have yours, every day of the week." Sidney tussled her hair and took back his sweat shirt.

"What was that all about?" Kane didn't like being left in the dark like that.

"It wouldn't be a secret if we told everyone. Hey Kane?"

"What?"

"I'm tired." She yawned.

"Do you want to go back to the room?"

"Carrie you can stay here. Your show is still on." Sidney proposed. '_She ignored the whole bad idea thing didn't she? They're going to go back and curl up or whatever.' _He grimaced at the thought.

"No she can't. Unless you want me to stay here too." Kane shook his head.

"When did you become such a possessive asshole?"

"Move the curtains out of the way." Kane stood.

"Yeah?" Sidney didn't know what he was looking for.

"Look closer moron." Kane pushed Sidney's face against the window as he pointed out a man sitting on the hood of Kane's car.

"Is that-"

"He's out to . . ." Kane lowered his voice he didn't want to spook Carrie more than she already was. He figured her being scared was just what his dopplganger wanted and Kane had no intention in yielding to his demands. "He's out to get her. I can't let her out of my sight."

"Why her? What'd she do?" He spun to Carrie. "What did you do?"

"In regards toooo?"

"Shut the hell up idiot, she needs sleep and you making her paranoid isn't going to help."

"Carrie?"

"Yup?"

"Here's five dollars. There's a vending machine down the hall and-"

"Got it!" Carrie snagged the money. "Chips and a root beer?"

"That leaves two fifty for you." Sidney nodded.

"You-" Kane included himself in the plan, he pointed at Sidney.

"I have a name you know."

"Give her your key."

"Left pocket of my coat." Sidney shrugged, Carrie took that and was off.

"So what is going on here?" Sidney's arms were crossed.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"I show you someone stalking the place and you send Carrie all by herself out on a candy run? Stupid, stupid." Kane was holding his head, he couldn't be around every waking moment but he also couldn't trust her friends to watch her. _'No one is taking me seriously.'_

"You're taking this storyline or whatever a little to seriously. There's probably a camera around there somewhere, they'll use as filler footage at the show, pump up your rivalry with this dude." Sidney shrugged.

"Her shoulder, that was him that was real! He's the one who is taking this rivalry too far. He's always out there. He's trying to turn Carrie against me. There's nothing he isn't willing to do to bring me down!"

"You know you sound crazy right? I mean yeah the shoulder thing totally not cricket but-"

"He's not going to stop there. He's trying to get me angry, to the point-"

"He's crazy too. You're always angry." Sidney couldn't help but laugh.

"When I first got to the company I wasn't just angry. I was out for blood, I wanted every person I fought to never be the same because of it. If no one left in a stretcher it was a wasted day. I wanted everyone to feel my pain. I was a mindless machine, I didn't play by the rules, there were no rules only victims. He wants me there . . . back to that point."

"You're kind of freaking me out."

"I've caged that level of rage for quite some time."

"So this is rage light?"

"THIS ISN'T A JOKE! WHY WON'T ANY OF YOU LISTEN!" Kane was growing more frustrated by the minute, but he reeled himself in, he had to get his point across. "It would take a lot to bring that back out of me. He's found just the right button to push. He's coming for the only person I care about. He is insane, he's truly embodied what I used to be under that mask. He won't think twice about hurting her. This isn't a storyline to him, I don't know who he is but this is personal."

"You're saying Carrie is in real danger?"

"The way he talks about her, it's disgusting I can't let him get to her. I won't let him hurt her."

"Idiot call the cops then if you're that worried Get a restraining order or something like that."

"Like I said before. When you're monsters like us. . . ." He didn't want to compare himself to the creature outside but it was true there were a lot of similarities. "There are no rules, no laws, you do whatever you want, because you can. From experience, whatever a monster wants is rarely good." The door swung open.

"And Boom goes the dynamite." Carrie handed Sidney his snacks. "What's up? you look like you've seen a ghost." Sidney was wide eyed looking at Carrie, she was in danger and there wasn't much anyone could do about it.

"You look awful." His reply was dry and robotic.

"Ouch! Uncalled for."

"I mean, awful in the sense you need some sleep. You guys can both stay here if you-"

"No." Kane turned down the offer quickly.

"I don't really think there'd be room for all three of us on the bed Sidney." _'Me and Kane just the two of us sometimes have trouble sleeping comfortably in a bed. Man takes up a lot of space.' _

"Kane can sleep on the floor." Sidney shrugged. "Sorry dude first come first serve." He kept staring at Carrie like a the creature from the blue lagoon was about to jump out and grab her.

"We're not staying here." Kane spoke louder hoping to get through to Carrie's dense friend.

"Why are you trying to split up the group scary movie style? Safety in numbers duh" Sidney knocked a fist to his skull.

"Safety?" Carrie was confused.

"Idiot." Kane mumbled at Sidney. "Just forget about it. Say your goodbyes and lets get going. You might have to drive, I'm about to pass out." Kane rubbed his face trying to stay awake and handed Carrie the keys.

"You heard him we gots to go!" Carrie smiled. "So how long till you forgive me Sidney?" She was taken by surprise when Sidney hugged her tight, a death grip on her.

"I'm over it."_ 'If anything happened and she thought I was still mad I couldn't forgive myself._' The hug tightened further. "Be safe OK?"

"What's this whole safe kick?" Carrie wondered if maybe Sidney had gotten received a visit that he had failed to mention. "Sidney did that guy-"

"What guy?" Sidney laughed nervously. "Be safe like no jaywalking, stranger danger, brush your teeth twice a day!"

"Smooth." Kane scoffed.

"Bite me Jerk off."

"On that note, duces." Carrie flashed a sideways peace sign and placed Sidney's key on the desk as they walked out.

"Kane?"

"What?" They were walking through the parking lot Kane was trying to keep a vigilant eye. _' He's out here somewhere.' _

"Do you think he . . . went to their room? Sidney seemed scared."

"They have nothing to worry about. Neither do you. I told you I won't let him hurt you. He's probably all talk anyway. When I wore that mask, I didn't say anything. I didn't need to, my actions spoke for themselves."

"He does talk . . . a lot." Carrie nodded, Kane's argument made sense. "Do you have any idea who it could be?"

"Don't know." _'He does sound kind of familiar but I can't place it. It must have been from a while ago but-'_

"Kane watch out!" Carrie screamed but it was too late he had been tackled to the pavement. "Oh fuck Oh fuck Oh fuck! what do I do." She went to walk over to Kane but he was already being lifted to his feet only to be met with a short arm clothesline. The sound of Kane's skull bouncing against the asphalt was sickening. Kane's head was in excruciating pain, he couldn't see straight vertigo was setting in.

"All talk. Kane I'm insulted." Kane gasped for air as his windpipe was trapped under his attacker's foot. "You're past your prime. I have to super charge you just to make our fight fair." The pressure was released just before Kane would pass out. Carrie hid behind a car and pulled out her phone. Kane's all but comatose body was lifted to it's feet yet again.

"Hello 911 what's your emergency?"

"Summit inn! I don't know what to do. What do I do?" Carrie knew what Kane would do if the situation was flipped he would do whatever it took to save her but Kane also had the advantage of a hundred plus extra pounds and nearly two whole feet. "I mean there might be a tire iron or something in the trunk maybe I could use that" Carrie was thinking out loud.

"Miss are you being attacked? What is your name?"

"I'm not being attacked Kane is! He's probably really hurt Less talking more ambulance . . . ing Ahhh!" Kane had been thrown, shoved or otherwise into the windshield of the car she had been hiding behind. Carrie dropped the phone and ran to their car.

"The first sign of trouble and you're all alone Kane. It always ends up that way doesn't it? You . . . alone." Kane felt like his back was on fire, shards of glass of different sizes were imbedded in his skin. His head was a mess he couldn't focus on anything other than staying conscious.

_'Alone?'_ The word finally sunk in. '_Where is she?' _He tried to sit up but simply couldn't muster the strength.

"Don't worry Kane I'll find her."

"Don't you touch her." He tried to sit up again but it was of no use.

"You're threatening me? Your in no position my friend. I told you, past your prime you can't protect-" The masked man was cut off, Carrie had smashed him in the back of the neck with the tire iron she had gone to fetch. He fell to one knee but he wasn't out of commission as she had hoped.

"Carrie!" Kane finally was able to wedge himself forward.

"There you are! Saving me the trouble of going to look for you." The monster was rubbing the back of his neck as he stood.

_"What is this guy?' _Carrie gawked as he regained his footing.

"Run!" Kane shouted. Carrie held the tire iron up like a sword as she was approached by the daunting figure.

"Boo!" He laughed. Carrie took Kane's advice and sprinted, she might not be able to out muscle him, but she was confident she could out run him. That theory was put to the test, he was stomping after her.

_'At least I got his attention. Kane wouldn't have lasted much longer.' _She was zig zaging between cars.

"You're just making this harder on yourself, I'll catch you eventually one way or another!" He bellowed as the chase continued. "There's bound to be a passer by soon. If they get hurt it would be all your fault." This statement made Carrie freeze.

"What is wrong with you?" She turned around weapon in hand. "Why are you doing this?" The gap closed quickly.

"Kane's going to make me famous! I just need him in the right frame of mind. You're going to help me with that Carrie." He went to grab her but she hit him in the ribs with the tire iron. She went to swing again but he grabbed the tool and pulled it from her.

"I don't think you're doing it right. Let me show you!" He raised it above his head. Carrie tried to run again but releasing one hand from the metal he snatched a fist full of her hair. "Check it out. one hand!" Carrie closed her eyes waiting for the blow but it never came, her hair was released and a large thud could be heard behind her. Free, she turned around to see what happened.

"Kane!" He had hobbled his way after them, bleeding from almost every part. Kane had his counter part pinned to the ground, berating him with a melee of punches, when he seemed incapacitated Kane lifted the mess of a man by his hair and smashed his head into the hood of a car, repeating the gesture time and time again.

"I told you. Not to touch her!" He panted as he slammed the masked face into the vehicle again. "Don't ever touch her." Another thud. "Past my prime?" And another. "I'll crush you!" Still another.

"That's the spirit." Slurred words came from the mangled mouth eating metal. "Get angry Kane!" There was a sick laugh in that voice, like he was enjoying it.

" I won't tell you again." Kane's spike in adrenalin was wearing off. "Don't touch-"

"I break it I buy it?"

"She's not an it!" Kane slammed him yet again.

"Kane come on we need to get you to a hospital!" Carrie just wanted it to be over. _' You made your point OK?'_

"Then what is she Kane? She's just an it, you couldn't hold on to anything better. She's just gutter trash dolled up and you know it!" He was trying to get another rise out of Kane and it was working.

"Kane come on." Carrie tried to pull his arm away.

"I won't let him talk like that. I'm going to bust every tooth out of his mouth, so he'll SHUT UP!"

"Who cares what he thinks. I know you think I'm more than that so-"

"I don't think it Carrie I"

"Ok Ok you know I'm more than that, I don't need anything more. I don't need his opinion, cause that's what's really gutter trash. Please lets go." She hugged the arm she was holding.

_'She's shaking.'_ He looked down at her. _'She's terrified.'_ He let go_. 'She's seen the real monster I can be. I lost control again.'_ "Carrie I'm not like him."

"I know. Please lets go." She asked again.

"Fine. Do you remember where the car is parked?" He asked as if he hadn't left a pool of human soup next to him.

"I . . .er . . . an ambulance will be on it's way I think. I called 911."

"My insurance doesn't cover this kind of head on collision. We better not stick around." Kane made a somewhat morbid joke.

"Alright." Carrie said with much hesitation in her voice. "Lets go home." She took his hand and they began to walk.

"Can you sit down?" Carrie opened Kane's door trying the best she could to get him comfortable in his seat.

"It's not so bad. We need to make a stop before we-"

"A stop? What could possibly be more important than getting you home to rest?!"

"A drug store. Ice packs, ibuprofen, tweezers and a sewing kit."

"You want me to sew your cuts shut?"

"Just the one's I can't reach."

"You've done this before?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Who do you think I am MacGyver?! I don't know if I can do all this."

"Don't be stupid, you can do it and you're much more attractive than MacGyver."

"Oh now you get your flirt game on! I'd ask if you're feeling alright but-"

"How are you? He didn't hurt you?"

"Are you crazy? How can you worry about me when you're all messed up like that?" Carrie felt almost guilty about Kane's statement.

"Answer the question."

"I'm fine Kane. Not a scratch."

"Good." He nodded.

"I'm sorry Kane, for causing all this." She sighed. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"I just want to sleep."

"Alright I'll get that stuff and we can go."

"Carrie?"

"Yeah?" Carrie parked. He lifted his hand clenched in a fist.

"You made it all better last time."

"Your noggin is all kind of jacked right now." Carrie kissed his now raw knuckles.

"I'm not just protecting you Carrie . . . for no reason."

"You need someone to kiss your boo-boos?" Carrie smirked.

"Ow Don't make me laugh." He winced.

"Sorry sorry."

"I need someone who cares, no one cares Carrie . . . just you. He's right about one thing. You're all I got."


	9. big spoon little spoon

"Turn around."

"You already checked them." Kane groaned as he sat up up.

"Yeah well I'm checking them again."

"Ugh." He groaned as she ran her fingers over the crudely sewn stitches.

"You wouldn't be in so much pain if you had let me take you to the hospital." Carrie felt horrible that he gone through so much.

"Don't like hospitals . . . don't like doctors." Kane shrugged. He had been in and out of hospital most of his childhood and adolescence, as an adult he did everything in his power to avoid them, hospitals just made him feel angry and claustrophobic.

"Is there anyone or anywhere you do like?"

"No." He replied. "Can we go back to sleep?"

"It's noon thirty." Carrie pointed to the sun outside the window.

"We didn't get any sleep for three days. I got thrown into a car. If that doesn't mean we deserve to sleep in I don't know what does." Kane tried not to show the discomfort in his face as he laid back down.

"I guess." Carrie nodded. "Kane?"

"What?" His eyes were closed.

"I'm sorry I didn't take you seriously before."

"You should be." He replied with a yawn, he just wanted to go back to sleep.

"You're not making this apology easy. Trying to be all sorry and what not-"

"You know what's not easy? Getting thrown into a car." Kane rolled over on his side, trying to get comfortable.

"Already feel guilty! Don't have to keep rubbing it in!"

"Just go to sleep! I'm not mad." Kane groaned.

"Not even about getting thrown into a car?"

"Did you throw me into a car?"

"Kane that's not what I-"

"Did you?"

"Kane you're three hundred twenty three pounds, I'm not throwing you much of anywhere." Carrie replied flatly, causing Kane to laugh. He rolled back over, his attempts to go back to sleep seemed futile. "What?"

"Nothing." He grinned. "So what's your sob story apology now?"

"You can be a dick when you're cranky."

"Im tired!"

"Fine. I'd say I'm sorry for waking you up but you'd probably tell me how you're just glad that you woke up after getting thrown into a car." Carrie rolled her eyes. Kane again trying to adjust himself to get comfortable reached his one arm out around Carrie's waist and pulled her down to the mattress. "Kane I-"

"Stop being an idiot, just stay in bed." he refused to move his arm even after a few shoves by Carrie. "I'm three hundred and twenty three pounds remember? You're not going anywhere."

"I guess not. Next time you're the little spoon though." Carrie turned onto her side cuddling her back against his chest. Kane gave her a light squeeze, this was all he wanted; Holding Carrie and sleeping into the afternoon, small thing like that were all he needed to feel normal, to feel somewhat happy. When she left him, at least he'd have these moments. He apprehensively kissed her on the crown of her head, it seemed like the right thing to do. Carrie craned her neck around and gave him a quick kiss on his chest. He corrected himself,** this** is what he wanted, not just Carrie sleeping close to him, but wasting the day away **With** him.

"What's a little spoon?" He had never heard that expression. _'I probably sound like an idiot right now.'_

"It's cute but stupid. Right now we're spooning, and because you're on the outside, that makes you the big spoon. I'm on the inside all curled up and comfy." She gave Kane's arm a squeeze. "Making me the little spoon." There was no judgement in Carrie's voice, she didn't think Kane was dense for not knowing. '_He doesn't seem like someone who cuddles much.'_

"Well I've never been a little anything, and I'm not starting now. You're going to have to suck it up and get used to it."

_'I could get used to this . . . definitely.'_ Carrie smiled to herself. Soon after, sleep crept over them again.

"I smell coffee!" Carrie had still been half knocked out, eyes closed, but caffeine was worth waking from whatever dream she had already forgotten. Carrie sat up quickly scanning the room.

"Relax. It's just continental breakfast coffee. I got you one don't worry." Kane placed a cup on the nightstand.

"Coffee is coffee dude. On a side note you're getting better at that." Carrie had a proud grin on her face.

"At what? Getting you coffee? If I knew you'd get this excited I would have gone and got you coffee sooner"

"No not that. I mean, still thanks." Carrie still in bed took a gulp of her drink. "Hot hot burnt my tongue!" She waved a hand in front of her mouth. Kane couldn't help but laugh, he had noticed how much easier laughing had become recently. "Anyways, what I meant was you got out of bed got dressed left the room all stealthy. Sneaky like a ninja."

"I had to try" It's hard for a man as big as Kane to walk around quietly. Till this point, any tossing or turning, any walking to the bathroom any trying to get dressed, would wake Carrie up. This morning, or rather afternoon Kane walked on egg shells as to make as little noise as possible.

"I bet." Carrie nodded. "So what's with all the extra effort?"

"Can't just be a nice guy?"

"Sure you can." Not learning her lesson Carrie took another big sip. "Ow. Now that means I have to step it up and be a nice girl. Talk about extra effort. I mean this changes everything." She scratched her head.

"Hey little spoon. I grabbed you a coffee and didn't stomp around the hotel like Frankenstein, doesn't exactly change everything." _'What's the big deal?'_

"Little . . . I . . . that's not what I meant . . . I mean it is part of it but not-"

"What's wrong?" Kane watched as she finally got out of bed and rummaged through her luggage. "Carrie?"

"I'm thinking." She found matching clothes, she grabbed her coffee took another sip before walking to the bathroom to get changed. _'This is going to crush him now.'_ She looked at herself in the mirror._ 'Maybe I'm making the wrong decision.' _her stomach was turning._ 'I just . . . Kane had the right idea we should have just spent all day in bed. Everything was peachy there, nothing to think about.' _Fully dressed she sat on the rim of the bath tub, digging her chin into her palms. _'If I just had more time.' _She chewed on her bottom lip. _'That's exactly the problem though.'_ She sulked for a few minutes longer._ 'You're making a big deal out of nothing. Mountain out of a mole hill.'_ She finally opened the door and stepped out her awkward smile on her face. Kane was still standing where she had left him, he looked confused.

_'Not this again. What's going on?'_ "So?"

"So um it's no huge deal. . ."

"Right." He nodded with skepticism.

"But um I've been thinking . . . not just then . . . but recently you know?"

"Right." Kane tried to be patient.

"You know how monday is the day my contract is up?"

"Hasn't exactly slipped my mind."_ 'What is she so nervous about saying?'_ He tried to think what this could all be about very rarely was Carrie at a loss for words. "You don't want to come back do you?" He remembered how he had asked her to return once things had cooled down. _'She never answered. She had no plans in coming back and now she feels bad for leading me on.'_ "I'll get over it." He shrugged trying to seem aloof but it read in the rest of his body language that he was anything but alright.

"Get over it?!" Carrie snapped.

"What do you want me to beg for you to come back? I've got some pride you know?" He scoffed.

"And you've got some nerve! Assuming that I'd just peace out and just forget about you. You must really think I'm some kind of succubus." Carrie was getting angry and it showed, there was no hint of a smile fake or otherwise.

"Succubus? Wait what? So you are coming back or what?"

"I had planned to before I found out I was come kind of conniving bitch who just-" Carrie stopped she could see Kane wincing. "Did a stitch tear?"

"You can really turn that on and off." Kane was surprised how quickly anger turned to concern. _'And I thought I had control of my rage.' _

"Even bitches have hearts you know. Now turn around."

"I'm fine, and stop calling yourself that."

"Huh?"

" I got mad OK? The way you were talking . . . made me think that come monday I wouldn't see you again and that . . ."

"That sucks." Carrie nodded. "You'd look weird, a big spoon without a little spoon. I mean you'd find a little spoon sooner or-"

"Before I get angry again what were you going to tell me?" _'She still thinks she's replaceable.'_

"Ok. So hundred percent coming back" She emphasized ". . . so I figured what's the harm in leaving a few days early. No big deal right?" Carrie could tell by the look on Kane's face that he didn't see it that way, you could see his jaw tighten his shoulders lurch. "You're mad." Carrie frowned.

"Why?"

"Why are you mad? Well I figure-"

"You're afraid."

"So what if I am."

"I'm mad because you think I can't protect you for three more days. I don't know what I have to do to prove that I wouldn't let him hurt you. If you could tell me it'd make my life a hell of a lot easier. I don't want-"

"I'm not afraid for me idiot!"

"What?" Kane was lost.

"I'm afraid for you, I'm worried about you damn it! look at yourself, you can't just brush off your shoulder what happened last night. He's out for blood Kane and I seem to be a trouble magnet! I've made you vulnerable."

"I'm not weak. Even now I could bring him down. I don't know if you remember how he looked then, but I'm sure he looks worse than I do now." '_Past my prime.'_ Those words had gotten to him.

"There's a difference between weak and vulnerable. I can't hold my own against something like that, I'm holding you back. I'm just a-"

"Say burden I dare you." Kane's blood pressure was rising and falling as this roller coaster of a conversation went on.

"Listen all I'm saying is . . . Maybe . . . I should go . . . now."

"Don't say that."_ 'Right now? No warning?'_ Kane walked to the window to see if Sidney and Carrie's other friends were in a car waiting for her to say her goodbyes.

"I won't let him win."

"Kane what's three days?"

"Three days is everything."

"Everything? It's just seventy two more hours that I'm putting you in danger. You said he wants to hurt me to get to you. If I'm gone then he can't get to you like that. I'll come back I promise! Like you said I'll come back after this is all done with."

"No you won't."

"What?"

"You'll leave just like everyone else. I said I would protect you, maybe if I keep my word you'll . . ." Kane scrunched his nose as he tried to word it correctly.

"I'll what?"

"Do you know the only reason people have ever staid around me?"

"No." Carrie shook her head, not sure where this was going.

"Because I could deliver."

"Deliver?"

"Deliver results. If I can't prove to you, that I can protect you for just three more days, what good am I? What would bring you back?"

"Kane you're not my bodyguard. I didn't listen to you when you said I was in danger and look what happen to you I couldn't take care of myself for four minutes, if you hadn't come I would-"

"I wouldn't let that happen."

"You don't have to prove anything to me Kane, you've had my back this whole time, and I've repaid you with being more and more reckless. I haven't listened to you when I should have. How many people have you had to_ 'protect'_ me from? I don't want to be a damsel in distress anymore." Carrie was embarrassed.

"It keeps me on my toes." Kane shrugged.

"Huh?"

"The whole damsel in distress thing. Having something to fight for, makes things more intense, more real." _'Is this what he had meant about the old me? Back then I had a purpose . . . I have a purpose again. I have Carrie.'_

"Well for your creepy role playing I seem to be a perfect fit."

"No it's not like that! I'm not using you as bait. I don't want you in danger!" _'Foot in my mouth again!'_ "It's just that I-" He had tried to lighten the mood but he had just made things awkward.

"Kane it's OK I get it"

"No you don't!"

"Kane I know you're not some sick bastard like him. I didn't mean to-" Carrie was cut off, Kane had kissed her, this time there was a controlled force to it. He pulled back to see her response.

_'I won't let her go. Not yet. Not till I'm sure that she won't forget about me.' _

"Don't say anyone's name promise? Not her's not mine I-" That was all the permission he needed. He kissed her again.

"I promise I won't ever do it again." And that's all the assurance Carrie needed, she kissed him back, she stroked the features of his face. They were either hot or cold, on or off, there was no in-between for them, there simply wasn't time for hesitation. Kane laid Carrie on the bed. She lifted his shirt and gingerly counted his ribs causing him to shudder slightly. Kane leaned down and bit her neck. He could feel her hips rise against his. He would take control this time._ 'I need to prove myself.'_ He still had that thought racing through his mind. His fingers wove themselves into her dense curly hair. Careful not to hit a stitch Carrie ran her hands up Kane's spine, he shuddered yet again. She craned her head up creating a trail of kisses up Kane's neck, his cheek his ear. Kane had to shut his eyes he was still getting reacquainted with foreplay. Kane's hand explored Carrie's body as gently as he could. _'Be soft. She's soft.' _He felt her hips rise again which boosted his confidence that he wouldn't screw anything up this time. Kane wouldn't, but someone else would. There was an incessant knocking on their door.

"Carrie! Carrie! Carrie!" Janet's voice could be heard on the other side of the door. There was a pause and then a harder knock began.

"Carrie!" Sidney shouted.

"I. will kill. All of them." Kane's voice was labored.

"Carrie!"

"Not like that you won't." Carrie's hand dipped within Kane's pants. This skin to skin contact was too much for him, he had to sit up off the bed before his urges completely took over him. "Go um . . . splash some cold water or something." Her head collided with the pillow in a frustrated thump. '_Never. This is never going to happen!' _Kane wasn't the only one with urges nipped in the bud.

"Carrie?!" Lizzie joined in on the knocking

"Or something . . . or wring Sidney's neck." He grumbled as he went to the bathroom to calm down._ 'What do they want now? Other than to ruin my life.'_ He took a few deep breaths, closed his eyes and counted to twenty before joining the _'party.' _

"Oh my god!" Janet shouted gawking at Kane.

"What?"

"You two were about to have crazy wild jungle sex!" Janet spun and was now looking at Carrie.

"Crazy wild-"

"Janet shut the hell up." Sidney didn't want to hear about that.

"It's written all over your faces. We totally cock blocked them!"

"Janet shut up!" Sidney repeated.

"I think you might want to listen. Cause that's not the only thing written on Kane's face." Lizzie whispered to Janet. Kane was frustrated in more ways than one, his fists began to tighten up

"Will all of you stop avoiding the question?!"

"Sounded more like a statement than a question." Carrie pointed out.

"When were you going to tell us you two were doing it? Is it awesome? I bet it's awesome." Janet laughed, this topic tickled her pink. " Carrie how long had it been since you've had sex?"

"Don't answer that question I don't want to know." Sidney put his hands over his ears.

"Well? He's not listening you can tell me?" Janet smirked, Carrie rolled her eyes knowing Janet really wanted the scoop. Janet was nosey with all of her friend's sex lives, no one asked why, no one wanted to know why.

"A while Janet . . . it's been quite a while."

"Yeah you and Fisher broke up a while ago. Did you hook up with that one guy?"

"No." Carrie replied flatly.

"What was that guy's name?"

"No clue. All I know is that it's been a while and I think we should drop this."

"How about you Kane? How long has your dry spell been?"

"Is she for real right now?" Kane looked over to Carrie.

"Serious as a heart attack." Janet nodded.

"You-" Kane pointed at Lizzie, ignoring Janet. "Why are you here?"

"Hey I'm talking to you." Janet snapped. Kane grabbed Janet's face in his palm and pushed her to the ground.

"Well?"

"Jerk." Janet frowned. Sidney let out a sigh of relief removing his hands.

"We were going to go window shopping at the mall, we figured we'd stop by and pick up Carrie."

_'Why do they need to be with her twenty four seven? They get to see her all the time I've only got a few more days till she's gone for who knows how long. Can't they just leave us alone for a few minutes.'_

"You can come if you want." Lizzie added seeing the disappointed look on Kane's face.

"Since when?" Sidney gave Lizzie a shove.

"Since a friend of Carrie's is a friend of ours."

"A VERY close friend." Janet smirked still on the ground.

"Whatever."

"If we go it won't be for long." Carrie shrugged.

"You have other plans?" Sidney wondered what else there was to do in this town.

"If you must know I was going to take Kane out for a thank you slash goodbye slash just us dinner."

"Like a date?" Lizzie was grinning ear to ear.

"Yeah like that I guess." Carrie nodded. '_Buck up or shut up.' _Carrie took a breath "Hey Kane would you want to go on a date with me?" Carrie wanted to make it official.

"What?" He looked like a deer in headlights.

"She asked you out you moron." Sidney scoffed. _'HORRIBLE decision.'_

"What is your problem." Kane began to advance towards Sidney.

"Not to sound cliche but you're my problem! It's my job to look out for Carrie and you-"

"Not anymore." Kane had Sidney backed into a wall.

"What did I tell you before you don't know Carrie like I do and-"

"Well if you don't back off I won't get the chance to." Kane huffed. "I'm here wether you like it . . . or not." Kane positioned himself face to face with Sidney.

"Sooooo is that a yes? Or are you two about to kiss and make up?" Carrie put her finger in the air to interject. Kane stared at Sidney for a moment longer then returned to Carrie's side, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Pizza?"

"Pizza we can do." Carrie smiled taking that as a yes. "Do you want to go to the mall first?" She asked pushing her luck.

"If you're going I have to so whatever." He shrugged unenthusiastically as they all began to gather their things.

"We have to make a stop first." Sidney stated once they were all ready and headed to the car.

"Where?"

"Convenience store."

"Why?"

"Slurpees?" Lizzie hoped.

"No . . . well yeah sure, but for condoms." The collective slamming of doors emphasized the awkwardness of that statement.

"Someone is confident." Janet smirked. "Are your mall macking skills that honed?"

"It's for those two. If you're going to be having . . . intercourse."

"This isn't sixth grade health class, no one has intercourse anymore everyone is just fucks like rabbits … except for you." Janet shook her head. '_Why's he choosing now to be a prude.'_

"Shut the hell up." Sidney snapped. "Whatever you guys are doing . . . who know what he has." Sidney gestured to Kane, who was not finding any of this amusing his face twitching slightly as he held himself back. "Plus I don't need you popping out kids, I'm too young to be an uncle!" He pointed at Carrie.

"Sidney your as old as me!" She rubbed her temples, it was going to be a long day.

"You're too young to be having kids."

"I'm twenty eight."

"Anyone conceder the fact that Kane probably doesn't want to talk about making babies on their first date?" Lizzie tried to quell the drama.

"No." The rest of the car answered.

"Why are you doing that?"

"What now? I'm always doing something wrong." Carrie spoke through a bite of pizza.

"They way you're eating that. It's backwards." Kane tilted his head to the side. He wasn't scolding her, it was just bizarre. "Odd ball."

"The crust is my least favorite part of the pizza. Get that over with and it's nothing but saucy gooey deliciousness." Carrie shrugged chomping away. Kane chuckled.

"So what's the point of this?"

"Pizza duh." Carrie didn't understand the question.

"I meant this whole thing this date."

"You didn't want to come?" Carrie was slightly distracted from her food.

"Not that . . . I just don't understand the point."

"This is what people do Kane. They go out on dates. Unless you agree with Janet and it's all just about fucking like rabbits then-"

"I didn't appreciate all that. I don't like being mocked. For your sake I didn't-"

"You're just mad that we haven't yet." Carrie laughed.

"That's not it!"

"It's a little bit . . . it. Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter you're mad we haven't had sex. You're not the only one you know?" Carrie resumed her meal.

"I . . . yes but I'm not just using you for sex." Kane wished Carrie didn't talk so fast it didn't give him time to decide what to say next.

"Duh. You have mad groupies Kane, you could get easy sex if you wanted it." Carrie shrugged.

"So then you get it right?" '_Groupies. I'm not exactly a fan favorite. Not with all those young kids in their 'prime' hoping around the ring.'_

"Get what?"

"That you're special."

"Don't say that." Carrie blushed. "I'm not special. I know you like me and all. I really like you too. Hence date." Carrie pointed at the pizza.

"You're still not getting what i meant."

"I just want you to know I'm not all that special Kane, at least not to other people. I'm a dime a dozen. Nothing to write home about. Seriously shake a stick in Oregon you'll find a little spoon just like me. I'm not the only odd ball out there. Yeah I'm quirky and lovable in my own endearing way but-"

"They're all a bunch of liars."

"Who?"

"Anyone who told you that you're nothing special. I don't like Sidney but-"

"Well aware." Carrie noted.

"He has one thing right."

"Alert the presses. What is that?"

"He realized that you were special. That you were important. That he wasn't going to let you go. And neither will I."

"So the whole long distance relationship thing. You think it'll work out? I mean maybe saying relationship is putting the cart before the horse but, it's complicated you know?"

"You're going back to Oregon not to Jupiter I can come visit you idiot."

"I know. I worry though." Carrie picked up another piece of pie, regretting saying that out loud.

"About what?"

"Nothing we can't talk about later. If you don't grab your next slice soon, it may be gone before you realize it." Carrie smiled nervously.

"About what?" He asked again

"You'll just get mad again Kane. No need to get all riled up. We're here for pizza, and a pizza place is an anger free zone." Carrie didn't want to talk about it at that moment, she didn't want to think about it. She tried to keep a reassuring smile on her face, but that was only making Kane more frustrated.

"Stop doing that!" Said frustration got the best of him as he slammed a large fist into the table causing plates and silverware to shake, they now had spectators.

"Hello fellow consumers!" Carrie waved. "We are very intense about our consumption of pizza! Sometimes we do get carried away, I apologize for any disturbance we might have caused you. Please commence your dinner with friends and or loved ones." Carried nodded and eventually most people did turn back around. "You can't freak out like that every time I smile!"

"It makes my blood boil."

"I've never seen someone get so worked up over a smile." Carrie rolled her eyes.

"I was forced out of hiding; And eventually Carrie I'll do the same to you."

"Uh huh. So what's your favorite food?"

"Favorite food?" The question caught Kane off guard.

"Favorite food, hobbies, likes and dislikes, the name of your pet rock. These things are important!"

"The name of my pet rock is important?" Kane asked flatly.

"Yes actually it is! You said you're out of hiding, but for someone who is out in the open, I don't know as much about you as I should, especially if we're in a relationship. Doublely so if you decide to come and visit."

"Decide?"

"Yeah, to visit, remember?"

"I remember what I said."

"Ok" Carrie nodded.'_ Then what's the major malfunction.'_

"You don't think I will." Kane was getting agitated again. He thought he was in control of the monster inside, but as of recently it seemed that the monster and it's rage had control of him, his ability to cope with his emotions was wearing thin. He was flying off the handle left and right. He could only wonder if this was all part of his impostor's plan to ruin his life. He watched as Carrie took a larger sip from her straw, not saying anything. _'Now she's at a loss for words.'_ "That's what you're worried about isn't it?"

"It's not that simple Kane."

"Then explain it to me." He tried to calm himself down.

"Are you alright?"

"I" He paused. "No I'm not alright." His teeth were grinding he couldn't seem to return to normal._ 'What's going on._' "I need some air." Kane began to sweat. "After you explain."

"Kane you're scaring me." She watched as Kane grabbed at his head, his face was contorted in pain.

_'Scaring her? This is what it took for her to be scared of me?' _He stood up."I'll be right back." He staggered his way to the bathroom.

Turning on the sink he tried to cool his face with splashes of water._ 'What's happening?'_

"You're losing it!" Kane turned around but there was no one behind him.

"Whose there?!"He shouted though he truly knew he was yelling at nothing. _'Am I hearing voices again? Why now? What's happening?!' _It had been years since the mental demons Kane had carried with him had surfaced in the way of phantom voices. He had overcome that, he was no longer deranged as he had been before. Or was that a lie to himself, had he not overcome only suppressed the problem? Was he truly returning to what he once was?'_ I didn't need the doctors to tell I was crazy, I knew it. I didn't need their help.'_

_"Guess again."_ The voice spoke again. "_She's not the only one whose scared is she?"_

"Shut up!" Kane punched his reflection in the mirror.

_'You're afraid Kane, that you'll be alone again.'_

"I said shut up!" Was this a panic attack, or a full psychotic break?

_'Don't worry I won't leave you.'_

"Kane?" A different voice pierced through, it was Carrie. "Is everything OK?" She was knocking on the door tentatively.

_'She's going to leave you.'_ Kane held his head together. _'She's afraid of you now!'_

"Kane I'm going to come in Ok?"

"No! I said I'd be back in a minute!" Kane yelled, he didn't want anyone much less Carrie see him like this.

'_Yelling at her. That's a good idea. You never would have yelled at Katie this way. She staid with you Kane, till her dying breath.' _Kane's head was spinning off it's tracks. Had things transpiring in real life, like the constant badgering by his rival penetrated deeper than Kane had thought, straight through to his psyche?_ 'Carrie can stay with you too, the same way Katie did.' _Voices inside one's head very rarely have good ideas.

"No." Kane replied fatigued.

_'No? Because you need her right? So you can pretend you never killed the first one?'_

"This has nothing to do with her! I'll kill you!" Kane had completely lost the concept that he was talking to a nonexistent being.

_'You couldn't save Katie. So what makes you think you can protect the woman you're pretending is her?'_

"I'm not."

_'Kane you can't fool me. You can pull the wool over this poor girl's eyes but not me. I am you._' Kane had to lean against the sink to keep balance. '_You can't protect her. Not from him. And not from you.' _

"I won't . . . won't hurt Carrie."

_'You mean Katie?'_

"Her name is Carrie!"

_'She's a breathing body you can attach memories to. It's not a coincidence you took in a self proclaimed nothing.'_

"You don't know anything about her!"

_'She doesn't know anything about you. About me. What if you hadn't made it to the bathroom? If you hadn't that mirror could have been her face. It was her you were angry at.'_

"I said I'm not going to hurt her!"

_'It's her fault.'_

"What?"

_'You've kept me locked away for so long. She comes along and poof! It's her fault.' _The voice repeated._ 'It's her you should be angry with. Not me. If she wasn't around. He wouldn't have poked and pried, he has you right where he wants you. Maybe if you cut off the dead weight, things will go back to normal. She never should have done this to you Kane. To us!'_

" I said shut up!" Kane was beginning to hyperventilate.

_"You said it because you know I'm right. First Katie now . . . Katie again."_

"Her name is Carrie!"

_'You keep telling yourself that. I tried to warn you. Women equal pain.' _

"Get out of my head!"

"Kane?" Carrie was now pounding on the door.

"Leave me alone!" Kane shouted. "Just go away!" He couldn't control his mind, what if he couldn't control his body? What if the voice was right and he couldn't protect her from himself? He wouldn't let that happen. Carrie was taken a back by those words, frozen for a minute.

_'Now you've got the right idea. We don't need them!'_

"Why won't you shut up!"

_Because you won't listen! I can tell right now your poor shriveled excuse for a heart is aching, because you know you've finally done it, you've pushed Katie away for good.'_

"Carrie!"

_'Katie. You killed her brought her back and now she's gone again! The way things should be!' _Kane's knees were beginning to buckle.

"I'm sorry."

'You should be!'

"Not you."

_'Ah to Katie or is it Carrie? Katie's dead and it was your fault. But her tombstone is so very far away, Carrie is right outside this door, a workable substitute.'_

"It's not like that! Why doesn't anyone understand?" Kane punched the mirror again. 'It's not Katie Carrie Carrie Katie! They're not the same person!" Kane wound up another fist when he felt something around his waist, it was Carrie's arms.

_'There she is.'_

"Carrie." Kane's fists clenched, one still raised. "Y . . . you need to leave." His eyes were still gripped with pain.

"It's Ok." Carrie just held him tighter, she could feel his heart race, his breathing was rapid and shallow.

"I don't want to hurt you!"

_'But you will it's just a matter of time.'_

"You . . . need to go." He pushed her back, Carrie walked up to him yet again and hugged him.

"You're not going to hurt me it's ok." Carrie looked up at him, there was no fear in her eyes.

"I'm . . . hearing voices." He admitted. "I can't control myself, I don't want to hurt you!" He pulled her off of him again, holding her at arm's length._ 'Why won't she listen?!'_

_'Frustrating isn't it. Watch out you break it you buy it.'_ Only then did he realize how tight he was squeezing her, his anger was flowing through every muscle he had. Quickly he let go, punching a stall door._ 'That took no time at all. Go ahead say you're sorry.' _Kane dented the stall again. This time Carrie went behind him to incase him in a hug.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't be an idiot!" Kane leaned his upper arm and head against the stall door.

"You're the idiot!"

"What?" He clenched his eyes shut again trying to return to sanity.

_'You heard her. She thinks you're an idiot! See? She's the reason you're angry the reason you're losing it Kane she-'_

"Kane!" Carrie's shouted.

_'Kane shut her up I'm trying to talk sense into you!'_

"Kane?"

_'You're right on the edge Kane let her go!'_

"You have to listen to me ok?" Carrie held as tight as she could. His name echoing in his ears, Kane didn't know who to listen to what to do, all he wanted was for it to stop.

_'She doesn't know you. She doesn't know our pain! You should show her!' _Kane punched the stall again.

"Stop it!" He could barely see straight. "Carrie you need to leave right now!"

_'Where should she go Kane? Back to the hotel, what's to say you'll come down from this? To her friends? You know their talking about you behind your back as we speak. Where's poor little Katie to go?'_

"It's Carrie."

"I'm right here Kane. Everything will be ok."

_'Everything is not ok. She's lying.'_

"Please just go away!" He didn't even know who he was talking to.

"I'm not going anywhere. We'll get through this." Carrie's voice was shaking.

"Carrie?" Kane could feel tears on his back. He turned around to face her, his face showed signs of exhaustion.

"I promise Kane we'll get through it together ok?"

"You're crying." He smudged away a few drops. "No smile." His breath slowed.

"I don't always hide." She nodded.

_'She's still hiding something. They always are.'_ Kane winced as the voice he had hoped would vanish kept on speaking.

"They're a bunch of liars." Carrie took Kane's hands in hers.

"Huh?"

"The voices."

_'What does she know?'_

"I heard you stick up for me. As long as part of you knows that I'm me and not . . ."

"Katie. You think I'm crazy don't you?"

"Of course you are. Sane people don't hear voices." Carrie shrugged.

"I don't hear them all the time!" He wanted to press. "This was the first time in years. I had it under control. I can do it again." He gave Carrie's hands a squeeze.

"What do you think caused it?"

_'You!'_ The voice spat.

"You." '_ You not believing me that I'd come visit. That you think it won't work. You're slipping through my fingers. He's pushing you away from me. I have no control.'_

"Oh." Carrie nodded again.

"Every weekend I can."

"What?"

"I'll come visit you."

"What I was worried about isn't just the distance so much as . . . maybe you miss it." Carrie shrugged.

"Miss what?"

"Being alone. You were forced to be beside me twenty four seven for the last month. Maybe if you get readjusted to how things were, the whole relationship thing will lose it's allure."

"Idiot." Kane scoffed. "You were the one trying to leave early."

"Just one slightly bent in the head little spoon trying to help out one slightly bent in the head big spoon."

"I think I've had as much spoon bending as I can take."

"Well I got the rest of food to go. We can get that air you wanted." Carrie tried not to linger on the subject.

"I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"Are you still afraid of me?"

"I don't know."


	10. Once a monster always a monster

"So you're scared." Kane shrugged. _'She finally saw me for the monster I am.'_

"I . . . well what just happened was scary." Carrie paused not knowing what exactly to say. _'I was scared of him just then, of what he would do. I know he doesn't want to hurt me . . . but what you want and what happens are two very different things.' _She admitted the unfortunate truth to herself. "We should get going." Carrie headed for the door, but Kane grabbed her arm. She couldn't stop herself in time, she let out a frightened gasp.

"It's over now . . . I can't hear the voice anymore, I'm in control." Kane sighed trying to reassure her that everything was ok '_ She's still scared of me. I want to tell her that it won't happen again, but I don't know that it won't._' He let go of her.

"That's good." Carrie nodded preceding an awkward silence.

"I don't know why . . . why it's happening now."

"All you needed was a little push here and there." The farthest stall door opened, it was the other Kane, one hand behind his back.

"You!" Kane didn't hesitate as he formed a human wall between Carrie and his attacker.

"was it you who was the voice Kane heard?" Carrie peaked around Kane's side.

"No." Kane contemplated weather or not it would have been better to lie.

"He's had that voice inside of him all along. He just tried to bury it. He never told you? This is what I wanted. I want you unhinged Kane, unrestricted." Even though his face was hidden one could be sure he was smiling, he felt as though he had won, that Kane was practically where he wanted him. '_He's almost there, he'll make me famous, monster versus monster.'_

"You'll regret it." Kane took a step forward. Only then his impostor pulled what he had been hiding, it was the tire iron from before.

"Kane we need to go." Carrie tried to pull on his arm, but he refused to budge. _'What is Kane doing? He's going to try to fight him head on? Doesn't he see that he has an unfair disadvantage here? _' "Kane!"

"You go ahead." Kane's eyes were fixed on the man in front of him._ 'I might not be able to keep control of myself, but I can take control of this. Who cares what he wants. What I want is to tear him to shreds.'_

"He's got a weapon Kane. A mean one! Pick your battles lets go!" Carrie continued her futile attempts to pull him away.

"You wouldn't understand. They call him a machine for a reason, he'll lose every part, every bolt and gear just to get at me." Kane's doppleganger advanced till he was face to face with said machine.

"Carrie, I'm going to settle this."

"No, I'm not going to let you bleed out on the floor just to prove a point. I'm not joking around Kane we have to leave!"

"You should listen to her, Or me, or the voices in your head it doesn't matter really, same outcome. Aren't you supposed to be protecting her? Or is that not your goal anymore? You're becoming short sighted, seeing red?" He was spitting out jabs trying to rile up Kane again, and it was working.

"I can do both. I'm not going to be the one bleeding on the floor." Kane didn't turn around as he made his declaration.

"This is ridiculous!" '_If you can't beat them join them, hopefully this works.' _She stood between the two towering men.

"What are you doing?" The mask tilted to the side in confusion.

"I'm not going to let you hurt him! " Carrie stood her ground.

"Big words." Before Kane could react Carrie had a gloved hand around her throat.

"For someone who is useless without her attack dog. Speaking of which what were you saying just a minute ago? You can't manage to do one thing right let alone two, you're biting off more than you can chew" He taunted Kane as his hold tightened.

"It's OK Kane." Carrie coughed, worried Kane would completely lose control again. Carrie was gasping and sputtering as he lifted her off her feet. Trying her best to control her flailing arms she reached into her pocket.

"Let go of her!" Kane went for a punch but stopped as Carrie was held as a human shield blocking his attack. " You said you wanted me unhinged, put her down and I'll show you what that's like." Kane growled as he watched on helplessly.

"You're close but not there yet, letting any feelings other than rage consume you. Just a few more pushes will do the trick. I have quite a shove planned too, do I have perfect timing or what? That's where you come in." Carrie's face was turning a grayish hue as she was able to get little to no air in. "You don't mind if I borrow her for a bit do you?"

"You're not taking her anywhere! I'll break your legs." Kane tried to figure out a spot he could take the man down at without hurting Carrie.

"You're in no position to threaten me! Now move! I don't know my own strength and that's bad news for her. I'll fight you when the time is right. Now isn't that time, like I said I have plans." Kane was surprised when with a thud Carrie hit the floor and the man who had been holding her was down on his knees, holding his face, groaning in pain.

"What just happened." Kane had not been privy to Carrie's master plan.

"Welcome to the real world!" Carrie panted and gasped as she struggled to get to her feet, Kane gave out his hand to help her. "Not everyone can power slam a titan, but anyone's paranoid friend can buy them mace from a kiosk at the mall." Carrie grinned holding up the can, she had bested him this time._ ' I saved myself. Finally.'_ "Can we go now please?!" She pleaded to Kane.

"You can't escape me forever, I'm everywhere, I'll destroy you!" The impostor groaned. Kane placed Carrie behind him, walking over to the man on his knees still wiping his tearing eyes. Kane lifted him by the back of the head to position him on his feet, only to kick him in the sternum causing the man to fall yet again.

"Now who is in no position for threats?." Kane stared down at the man who was curled up in a wayward fetal position, covering his face with one hand and his other holding his chest. Kane wanted nothing more than to beat the down and out man till he was broken from head to toe, but glancing back at Carrie who was rubbing her throat her eyes thoroughly spooked, he reconsidered. "We can go now." Kane declared with some frustration, rolling his shoulders as he tried to calm himself. He took Carrie's hand and they left the bathroom. Their antics had not gone unnoticed, the entire pizzeria had their eyes glued on them.

"VERY Intense pizza experiences. Probably should wait a few minutes before going in there." Carrie pointed at the bathroom door, an uneasy smile on her face as she waved to the patrons. Kane still had a tight lock on her other hand.

"Are you ok?" Kane asked as they reached the car.

"I'll be fine." Carrie nodded. Kane handed her the keys, they had a mutual understanding that Kane was in no mental state to be at the wheel.

"If you want to leave in the morning I'd get it" He felt defeated, unknowing of what to do.

"I promised." Carrie shook her head.

"Promised?"

"That we'd get through this together."

"You're leaving monday."

"Well like monday ish, I figured seeing as I'm NOT bailing out on you, it would be a waste of a hotel room not to stick out the remainder of the week right?"

"You need to make up your mind." Kane was growing tired of all this plan changing. He wanted things to be simple like they had been. _'When all I had to worry about was me and my demons it was all easier, it was controlled madness, now it's just a madness free for all. I was a monster not a man for all this time. Can I even be both? Is it possible to be a functioning person and the monster I was bred and fed to be? I'm losing part of myself. That's why the voices are coming back, the monster won't let go so easy. She's right I do miss it. I want to have Carrie at my side but not at the cost of losing my identity.'_ Kane looked at his reflection in the car window. _'I WANT to stay a monster.'_

"Plus you said you'd come visit, every weekend you could. Then I'll come back when everything is copacetic right?" She got in the car speaking surprisingly optimistically.

"I couldn't even keep a promise for all of four minutes. I don't expect you to stick around and-"

"Together Kane! It wasn't just a promise I have to keep it's one I want to keep ok? We're a couple now right?" Carrie went out right and asked.

"A couple?" Kane for some reason was caught off guard at that phrase even though they had been tip toeing around the topic for the better part of the week. "Yeah something like that."

"Something like that" Carrie rolled her eyes. "What a smooth talker, but I guess that makes sense for now."

"How's your throat?" Kane could see her skin redden where she had been grabbed.

"You just asked me if I was ok. I ask you if you're ok after slamming your back into a car and I'm overbearing. You ask about my throat and-"

"It's different." Kane snapped.

"How?"

"He's hurting you on purpose."

"I don't think he accidentally sent you through a windshield."

"You know what I mean! We all know . . . he reminds us all the time" Kane winced slightly "that he's hurting you to get to me. You can take on Lita or Maria all of the divas you want, but you can't be expected to be able to defend yourself from him. That's what I should be doing."

"Says who? I mean Sidney wants-"

"Says who? Says me! He's right when he says they call me a monster, a machine because I will bring down everything in my path. All this time I've been hell bent on destruction now you're here and-"

"You're off your game." Carrie knew what he was getting at.

"I'm a freak Carrie, that's what I'm meant to be. That's what I'm best at! I don't know what I'm doing. with you" Kane turned away and concentrated on the lines in road.

"You're not exactly blowing my mind." Carrie scoffed.

"You think this is funny? Don't mock me Carrie." Kane wanted nothing more to get out of this confining car, to get some real air.

"I'm not mocking you I'm agreeing with you."

"What?"

"You are a freak, a monster, it's my fault for pushing you so far out of your comfort zone. I apologize, you were right this whole time I don't understand you. I was looking at this through my point of view and flipped your world upside down because of it." They were pulling in to the parking lot. "It's caused you a lot of grief and pain and anger, I thought I was taking you away from all that but I was just shoveling more of it in your face. I took that whole conversation of us being friends, wanting me around, that you were starting to feel it was ok to be you, and ran with it because that's what I wanted, I was selfish. I can learn from my mistakes though! I can respect the monster you are, if you can realize that's not all you are." Carrie bit her lip waiting for his response. '_Why are you always so selfish Carrie, so stupid!'_

"Splinter."

"What?" Carrie locked the door as they got out. _'Splinter?'_

"That's the name of my pet rock." Kane changed the subject abruptly. "You said you wanted to know about me . . . I can try and show you what makes up a monster."

"I never meant to try and change you. Just wanted to . . . get a peak inside, you know? Under the hood of the machine. " Carrie smiled. Kane tilted his head slightly. "What?"

"That's actually your smile Carrie."

"Well yeah."

"It's a good smile."

"Thanks . . . but?" She could tell this wasn't a simple out of the blue complement.

"But the faces you make . . . That smile you have, the rest of the day."

"Not so cute?"

"That's not the problem. I meant what I said, if I had to be dragged out of hiding so do you. You're just as twisted as me Carrie, your here in hell with me, we both aren't normal. That's why we get along. Because you can appreciate it."

"Well I appreciate that your pet rock is named after the rat from teenage mutant ninja turtles, that's badass." Carrie laughed. Most of the time she didn't want to think about how different from everyone else she was._ 'Fake it till you make it right? But maybe Kane's right. Maybe I can't hide forever . . . maybe I shouldn't want to.'_ She got lost in thought.

"I'm proud of you for knowing that." His big palm scruffed up her hair as they walked in through the lobby. "But I meant you appreciate what it's like to be a freak. I had my mind and body distorted, I'm a freak from head to toe." He looked at himself in a lobby mirror, usually he opted not to look at himself, it just reminded him of the monster everyone sees, but today was a day of self reflection. _'Lizzie said you found me attractive at the bar that night. What about this face could you find attractive, it has to be.- _"You're a freak too, just one that can hide it better."

"Is that a good thing?"

"No. I can make other's feel my torment, I can find pleasure in their fear and suffering as any monster would, and I can do it out in the open. I want people to feel the way I do, I want them to feel what power a freak can unleash. You hold it in Carrie, only thing that gives you away is that freaky smile."

"Freaky smile? Like I said not so cute I guess" She crossed her eyes inward to try and see her mouth. Kane couldn't help but laugh as her face contorted, eventually Carrie caved and began to laugh too.

"People say my smile is demented, but if they really looked they'd see that your smile's that of a true blue freak."_ 'Still cute, sometimes, but cute isn't everything.'_

"You're not the first one to say that." Carrie shrugged.

"And you do it anyway?"

" I can't really change it . . . I just am . . . a freak, a freak who puts on a smile every hour of every day because . . ."

"Because why?" Kane's hand thudded into the elevator button.

"I'm the opposite of you Kane. I don't want people to feel my pain, my torment, my fears. I don't want people to feel what I feel. I don't even want people to see me, I want to be invisible. I'm not so good at that part, too eccentric for my own good. What I am good at is closing those emotional demons neatly away and replacing them with a smile. They're still there it just doesn't really matter anyway." She shrugged as she passed through the doors, she wasn't making sense, not even to herself, she was rambling like a crazy person. "It's just that I'm not confident like you."

"Not confident? You must not understand that word." Kane's nose scrunched baffled by her statement.

"You are a presence to be taken notice of."

"Because I'm a monster!"

"Because you demand that notice, that respect, that fear even. If you have something to say everyone will listen. I'm not confident that anyone would bother to listen to me if I had anything legit to say. I'm afraid I'll lose what I have . . . who I have. No one wants a debbie downer, at least if I smile I know my friends will stick around." Carrie shrugged again as they reached their floor._'Simple as that.' _ "But I never perfected a genuine smile, a girl I used to work with . . . Ashley!" Carrie dug the name out of her memory banks. "Said I had a sociopath smile, like a serial killer . . . but not in a bad way." Carrie laughed, that statement always hit her funny bone.

"There's a good way to be a sociopath?"

"Not really sure." Carrie had asked Ashley that same question. "She said I wouldn't kill anyone though, I was weird but harmless. I've been called worse. That description stuck though, people at the shop started calling me WBH."

"You let them tease you like that?"

"They weren't teasing me . . . at least I don't think so." Carrie fumbled for her room key. "And who cares if they were, no harm no foul, didn't hurt my feelings. Always wanted a nickname. Ah ha!" She finally got the door open.

"Odd ball." Kane shook his head as he watched her belly flop on the bed.

"That one works too." Carrie lifted her head from the mattress. "Do you need to take a shower? Cause if not I call dibs! His gloves smelled rank." She turned over onto her back.

_'I wasn't fast enough to stop him. Whatever he has planned it includes her.' _He just stood there silently._ 'I am off my game.' _His jaw tightened._ 'Past my prime?'_

"Is that a yes or no?"

_'You can't protect her. Not from him, and not from yourself.' _He recalled what the voice had told him. Kane was still battling with himself. He was confident that if he didn't have the distraction of his feelings and concern for Carrie he could take out the other Kane, he could control and center his rage during any fight he was in._ 'As just a machine.'_ But he was in a relationship now, he had someone to care about, someone to protect. _'As a man.'_

"Kane is everything ok?" Carrie got up and waved a hand in front of his face. Kane grabbed her wrist.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be a functioning freak. I can't beat him like this." _'I don't have enough time to make a difference by becoming physically stronger.'_

"Like what?"

"With Emotions" He frowned. "Any emotions." Even the word made him feel queasy and weak.

"Sure you can. Do what you've done with every other hindrance, work it to your favor. Then shove it in everyone's faces." She grinned. "People told you that you were deformed, you took that 'deformed body.' and made it an indestructible force. They told you that you were insane, you channeled those problems into a unshakable mindset. People called you a freak, you embraced that. Emotions suck." Carrie saw the shock on Kane's face. "Yeah any person who says feelings are great . . .bullshit. We've both known what it's like to have emotions, and not. Tell me things aren't easier without them."

"You don't have emotions?"_ 'I'm fighting to learn how to balance mine and she's feeling nothing at all?'_ "That's a lie." He now vaguely understood what it was like to feel and care, it was written all over Carrie's face.

"I do now. Ages sixteen through like twenty three twenty four . . . just nothing just going through the motions. I'd feel happy, sad, angry, infatuated . . . every once in a while, but for the majority that time, emotional flatline." Carrie scratched the back of her head nervously.

"What changed?"

"Something . . . blah blah blah . . . short story shorter I had one of those feeling spikes . . . but this time it never stopped . . . the emotion, and it was like a slow trickle one emotion after another . . . tried to stop it, because like I said, they suck but didn't really work out." Carrie sighed. "It's not all awful though! I mean there are obviously good emotions!"

"That's what I need to get rid of!" Kane stated as if he had come to a epiphany.

"You want to . . . stop being happy?"

"Yes." Kane nodded.

"I could mace you, seemed to suck the joy out of that guy."

"Well that mace was meant for me wasn't it?"

"Huh?"

"Sidney bought it right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm willing to bet my good eye that he said to use it on me." Kane was quite confident._ 'He still thinks I'll hurt her'_ "am I right?"

"Good news is . . . you get to keep your eye." Carrie chuckled weakly.

_'You need some kind of protection. Who knows when your 'date' will snap. He's insane Carrie! You're getting in over your head. But what do I know?'_ Carrie recalled the conversation that had transpired as Sidney purchased the item.

"Right." Kane scoffed.

"Anyway back to my point." She could see the soured look on Kane's face. "You always could use those good emotions as a benefit."

"What as fuel to do what I do best? Destroy? The two don't exactly go hand and hand."

"When you win a title how do you feel? Good right?"

"Yeah but that's not what I'm thinking about in the ring. I'm thinking-"

"No but it's the light at the end of the tunnel right? Put your good feelings, at the end of the tunnel, a desirable outcome. When you're in the ring, in a fight, toss them ahead of you. Do what you do Kane. Do you! Destroy. Just pick them up afterwards, your reward, if they're really good feelings they'll be there."

_'Hungry hungry hippos.'_ Kane flashed back to a similar conversation from years ago. "Carrie you are my good emotions."

"No, that's not how it works. Those emotions are all you!" She frowned, it didn't seem like Kane was getting it.

_'She's getting angry at me?'_

"But Rome wasn't built in a day." She took Kane's cheeks in her palms. "And I learned my lesson, no need to rush the machine, it might overheat." She leaned up and kissed him. "Now come on." Carrie brought her hands down from his face and began to tug on him.

"Where are we going?" Kane was tired, just wanted to lay down.

"To take a shower." Carrie had a cheeky grin. '_Not everything had to be so heavy, I'll show you good emotions.'_

"Together?" Kane was caught off guard. "I barely fit in there by myself." Kane pointed out.

"A tight fit never hurt anyone." Carrie laughed. "That and there's a lock on the bathroom, no ambushers. I think we should end this date on a high note."

_'That skin_.' He wanted to see and feel her skin again, he felt his urges rise.

"If they storm this door. I will kill them all." Kane pointed out.

"Stop thinking so negative. Monsters can have good times too you know." She finally lured him into the bathroom, locking the door behind them. Till the hot water began to run out they staid in that shower.

"I finally know how you feel." Carrie sighed as she ate breakfast the next morning.

"About what?"

"About wanting someone to stop smiling." She chuckled looking at Kane who seemed capable of smiling and scowling at the same time. "You have to stop doing that."

"Why?" Kane didn't understand isn't this what she wanted, for him to be less angry.

"Alright! good job man!" Murdoch appearing from seemingly nowhere had his hand in the air for a high five.

"Good job on what?" Kane seemed annoyed that his breakfast was being interrupted.

"Now's not a great time." Carrie spoke on Kane's behalf.

"I get it I. I'd need to refuel too after a long night." Murdock seemed oblivious to who he was speaking too as he gave an awkward wink to Carrie. "There was a bet going around the locker room if you two would-"

"For the love of god please stop talking! I just want to enjoy my waffles." Carrie shook her head.

"You should show her some respect. She's not a horse to be bet on." Kane's chair squeaked as he pushed himself away from the table and stood, looming over the redneck.

"Hey hey." Murdock put his hands up in defense. "I didn't bet on y'all just saying that I was cheering for you man. Glad you guys finally did the deed, or however you city folk say it." He pointed at Carrie not really wanting to took Kane in the eye.

"We don't-"

"What we do. Is none of your or anyone else's business. Does your small brain understand that?" Kane gave Murdoch a shove.

"Loud and clear." The fearful man nodded and scampered away. Kane sat back down, he wasn't going to let this ruin his day.

"Aaaand that's why you can't smile like that" Carrie laughed.

"What does that have to do with anything."

"You and that smile are basically a walking billboard advertising to anyone within a ten mile radius to the fact that we had sex. I don't especially care, but other people do and you can't go toe to toe with everyone that makes a comment."

"I disagree." Kane stated confidently.

"Alright" Carrie shrugged. "Do you. Be as happy as you want." Carrie smiled back at him. "Just know that, we will have sex again, there's no need to get SO hyped."

"Monsters never get the girl, it's a victory ok?"

"Ok." Carrie stood up, playfully rubbing Kane's head. "So my and pose had a day planned if you want to-" Carrie began as she walked to the lobby. Kane got up, rolling his eyes.

_'How many times do I have to tell her, I can't let her out of my sight.'_ "Yeah sure." He followed her.

"Oh god damn it!" Sidney shouted as Carrie and Kane came into view.

"What?" Carrie asked puzzled as to how Sidney could be angry already.

"You two had sex didn't you?" Sidney questioned with disappointment in his voice, it was written all over Kane's face just as Carrie had warned.

"It's none of your business!" Kane snapped.

"I have to look out for Carrie and she could do better than you!" Sidney's words struck a cord with Kane you could see his face turn from annoyed to angry. Lizzie and Janet got out of the car.

"Is everything ok?" Lizzie asked as Sidney and Kane continued to argue.

"Sure, if you overlook the face that we're about to witness a homicide.

A/N (**Story spoiler alert**.)

Approximately two or three chapters from now in the original story Undertaker makes a cameo. But I was considering using a different superstar from Kane's past. What does everyone think?


	11. Secrets told, bridges burned

"Where the hell is she?" The big red monster sighed. Carrie had jogged ahead playing a game of hide and seek with Kane, who was not aware he was a participant. Opening the door to the dressing room she noticed a folded piece of paper lying out of place in the door way. Picking it up she carefully unfolded it. She cringed in unease when she read the six words written in the center of the page.

**Secrets will be told**

**Bridges burned. **

She studied each word individually, trying to read between the lines and figure out what kind of mind game was being plaid this time. '_Secrets told, bridges burned. More cheesy than cryptic.' _

"What's that?" Kane looked down over her, to see her hands tightly clenched around a nearly blank piece paper, before he could squint hard enough to see the words Carrie spun around, to see his confused face.

"Um." Something told her not to share the message. '_He wants to keep emotions out of work, he sees this and he'll get all concerned.' _So in a last minute decision, she took an unexpected route, she stuffed the paper in her mouth and did her best to lock away the stiff parchment behind her teeth. "Nofing." She mumbled. _'Ugh not my best idea.' _Her mouth was growing dry, as the paper sucked all the moisture up. Her face soured slightly.

"Really?" Kane gave a weak laugh, his hand moved to her face, but she adamantly clamped her jaw down harder, pulling her face out of reach. Carrie nodded innocently as though nothing was odd about the situation.

_'Does she think I'm an idiot?'_ "There's a vending machine down the hall if you're really that hungry. I can get you some skittles." He watched as she removed the paper and quickly shoved it in her pocket. Kane frowned, considering wether or not to press the issue.

"Yeah, maybe, sounds like a good idea. Did you want anything?" Carrie asked, trying to walk out the door.

_'She does think I'm an idiot.'_ Kane rolled his eyes grabbing Carrie by the back of her shirt and dragging her back in. _'Can't stand in one spot this one.'_ "Are you coming to my match?" He asked sitting down on a bench seat.

"Is it before or after-" Carrie stated remembering that Kane hadn't wanted her at his last match, and it could be argued she cost him said match. Since it was her job, Carrie had refused to sit idly by. This time he had asked her.

"Before." He grumbled, not looking forward to the meeting in the slightest any mention of it made him scowl.

"Then you don't have a choice." Carrie nodded with a laugh as she went over and sat on his lap, looking up at him, her head wedged against his chest. "I bet you can't wait to get rid of me at ringside. I'm a little bit of a liability." She nestled herself closer to him.

"Yes and no." He glanced down at her, her playful demeanor warmed his iced over pulse. He wrapped his arms around her and with a sly smile on his face he reached into her pocket and pulled out her safeguarded note.

"Kane! Give it back you sneaky bastard!" She snatched at in but Kane's long arm held it out of reach.

"Or what?" He smirked, enjoying their little game.

"Or I'll never talk to you ever again! Give it the fuck back!" Carrie demanded again as she reached for her note, this time she was successful in her venture, though almost falling off the chair in the process.

"Don't say things like that!" Kane boomed as he held Carrie tighter to help her keep her balance. Kane was insulted by the statement and it read all over his face _'Why are we signing it in the fist place. I know I'm sending her away for her own protection but the second it's safe I want her to stay close to me. Carrie still wants to be a wrestler right?' _He wanted to tell her just how silly and trivial he found the whole thing. _'But then I'd be vulnerable, people would know how much I cared, that she was so important to me. It's bad enough he knows.'_ Kane sighed unable to overcome the need for no outward weakness.

"Who's your match against?" Carrie broke the building silence, the last thing she needed was a quiet atmosphere to lament over the note which was already overwhelming her thoughts.

"Val Venis." Kane shrugged. "It's soon." He sat them both up.

"Ok well I'll let you get changed." Carrie nodded, heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Kane questioned before she left.

"To find Lizzie and the other goons, she wants to 'pretty me up' for my could be last tv appearance. Don't find us we'll find you." Carrie gave a wink.

"You look fine." _'There's no need to pretty up, no need to hide._' "Don't they ever take a day off?" Kane chuckled hoping his last statement didn't seem judgmental.

"Do you?" Carrie didn't wait for an answer before scampering down the hall.

_'Ok stay by an exit, or a group. Somewhere safe.' _Carrie just kept moving trying to find a place where she could feel less vulnerable._ 'He doesn't want to be distracted, no need to bring it up till at least after his match.'_ She took the slightly moist note out of her pocket and read it again.

**Secrets will be told **

**Bridges burned**

_'Secrets? What secrets?'_ Carrie focused hard on the short statement.

"Whatcha reading?" Janet draped over Carrie's shoulder, popping bubble gum as she spoke.

"Love notes from Kane?" Lizzie laughed. Sidney snatched the note away from Carrie and quickly read it over.

**Secrets will be told**

**Bridges burned**

"He's got some choice of words." He sneered.

"Doesn't exactly come off as a poet?" Janet shrugged. "Maybe the tortured lonely type but not enough angst for poetry."

"Carrie?" Sidney saw the stressed look etched on her face, her smile wavering. "Is everything ok?" He went to put a hand on her shoulder but Carrie pulled away, she didn't want anyone invading her bubble in that moment. "I told you Kane was bad news! Something happened didn't it?"

"No." Carrie shook her head.

"Do you still have that mace I got you? I'm not kidding Carrie, he's not a bad boy you can turn good. He's a mad man!" Sidney's protective mode was kicking in to full gear.

"I still have it." it was in her gym bag, she rummaged around and pulled it out. _'Secrets told. Bridges burned.' _Carrie pondered the note again. _'Maybe it's like a double negative or something like that. I'm keeping this note a secret, but that''d be just stupid.'_ She shook her head, getting lost in thought.

"don't be afraid to use it ok?!"

"I . . . I'm worried." Carrie admitted shamefully. '_This isn't the worst thing that he's done.' _Carrie tried to shrug it off. '_Why am I letting this get to me? Don't let this break your stride no need to perceive fear.'_ "The other Kane left me this note." Carrie took the note back from Sidney and buried it deep into her pocket clutching it tight, fist clenched.

"Don't worry Carrie you'll be fine." Sidney tried to seem reassuring. "Promise." It hurt him to see her so nervous.

"It's not me I'm worried about . . . I mean yeah a little bit not gonna lie." Carrie chuckled._ 'Selfish.'_ "But he might hurt Kane."

"Kane's a human tank that bully won't hurt your oaf."

"What about hurting Kane?" A familiar shadow loomed over Carrie.

"AHH!" Carrie in shock spun around of his muffled voice. He gave her a shove down to the ground.

"Maybe you should worry about yourself more."

"I don't care what your beef with Kane is, but leave Carrie out of it!" Sidney stepped in front of Carrie, who slowly made it back to her feet, Sidney had no clue how he planned to defend her.

"I would." The impostor pushed Sidney aside. "But your idiotic friend had to get involved with him. Kane had warned you didn't he? To keep away? " With an unkind pull at her arm Carrie collided with his chest. "Your contract didn't say you had to go slut your way into this mess. It's too late now. You're my golden ticket, he cares about you, must be quite a catch. Is that it?" Carrie's stomach sank, his words piercing whatever calmness she had left, she clenched her eyes shut.

"Shut up." This time Janet advanced.

"Or what? You're all so mouthy and over confident. Where's your boyfriend now Carrie? Not saving you this time. You know I hear he's not exactly the knight in shining armor type. Most girls don't realize they can't do better than a disfigured freak. Good for you." He pinned her against the wall giving her a playful slap on the cheek. "Lets see if you're smart enough to know when to give in. I still have a deal I'd like to strike with you. I want you to cut your loses and turn on Kane, for your own good." The pressure he was holding her with grew, making her wince in pain. "My other option will be much harder on you. Kane isn't worth what I'd put you through trust me." Carrie's friends were speechless as they witnessed her being mentally abused and physically restrained, without much they could do.

"Stop it!" Lizzie kicked Carrie's captor in the back of the knee. It had no effect he spun around and inched towards her.

"Leave her alone." Carrie pulled on the man's costume. He turned around yet again. Carrie was holding her mace up in the air, causing him to stop in his tracks.

"Run!" Sidney exclaimed, pulling on Carrie's arm, taking advantage of their attacker's hesitation. They jolted down the halls.

"Carrie slow down! He didn't chase us." Lizzie called out, but Carrie didn't stop she didn't even slow down.

Her mind was racing as fast as her legs. '_He still thinks he can use me against Kane. I gave him such a glaring weakness to exploit. Kane can't worry about me and his matches at the same time. This is all my fault!' _She could feel tears well up, guilt washing over her red flushed face.

"Carrie!" A familiar voice called. "My match is next." Kane watched as she zoomed past him. _'Did she slap someone again?' _"Carrie?" He followed after her, finally catching up with her only when she ran completely out of breath. Carrie was on the cusp of hyperventilating from stress and struggle. "Carrie calm down." The last time he had seen her in such a state of panic was when she had woken up on the stretcher after getting hit by a belt. He cupped her face in his gloved palms, staring into her frantic eyes. '_ Does she even see me right now?' _One hand fell to the small of her back, she slowly regained normality and distanced herself from Kane.

"Your match is up next?" Her voice was labored. He nodded but his face was painted with confusion.

"Carrie what-"

"I'm fine. Come on." She walked towards the stage area. She rubbed feverishly at her face trying to wipe away any evidence of her concerns.

"You're not fine." He took hold of her wrist not allowing her to go any further. "You've been acting weird all night and now you're scared out of your mind-" He paused, it all made sense._ 'Should have figured._' "He found you again. What did he do?" He sighed as he recognized the problem. '_Coward. He probably thinks its funny to scare her like this. He thinks he can use scare tactics? Mind games? He's out of his league.'_

"I don't want to talk about it, now come on your match is-" She tugged against his hold but it didn't let her go.

"We'll get there. How the hell am I supposed to help you if-"

"I don't want your help!" She snapped hating the coldness of her voice, hating the impostor for making her feel that way, hating herself for causing the off put look on Kane's face.

"Come on." He let go of her and walked ahead making his way to the black curtain, his teeth grinding._ 'She thinks it's all my fault. She doesn't feel safe.'_

"Kane I-"She saw him stop but he did not turn to her. "I'm sorry." Her head was lowered. If only they knew how each of them took full responsibility for the torment they were being put through.

"Carrie I . . ." They were at the top of the ramp so he clamped up. '_Forget it. She doesn't want to talk to me about it. That paper, that note it must have been from him what did it say?'_ He shook his head as he pulled up his elbow guards._ 'Light at the end of the tunnel, I'll make her tell me later.' _His music began to blare.

"Now introducing accompanied by Carrie Lories . . . Kane!" Lillian announced their entrance.

_'This is the last time I'll be walking out with him . . . for how long?'_ She glanced over to Kane who had a very focused look on his face. "Go get em." She put on her best smile and patted him on his large shoulder. Kane grabbed the top rope climbing over he was ready to take out his frustration. _'I don't think emotions are hindering him here.' _Carrie was leaning her chin on the bottom rope watching as Kane destroyed Vienis. The match was short and less than sweet, it was bitter and angry, an outpouring of pent up rage. Kane hovered over Vienis a demented smile on his face, it felt good to be on top, to be in control, to be the one delivering pain. He was forced to snap out of the euphoria when he heard the sound of his old music.

"Carrie" He leaned against the ropes looking from side to side trying to figure out where the coward planned to ambush them from. Looking in front of him he saw Carrie at the end of the ramp standing motionless, he was unsure if it was out of confidence or fear. Kane began to step out of the ring when a video reel began to play. Tori, Lita, Mrs. Mcmahon, Chyna, Lillian, on and on images of Kane inflicting harm to an assortment of women. Out of context it seemed like Kane was an abusive maniac but there were backstories to each out lash. Kane cringed in disgust and self loathing as clips emitted through the arena. He couldn't see Carrie's reaction to the montage. Kane stepped out of the ring fuming. '_This monster, will unleash hell on him.' _He started up the ramp._ 'There's nowhere he can hide from me.'_ The 'film' ended, frozen on the screen was an ominous statement.

**You're Next**

**Secrets will be told**

**Bridges burned.**

As they passed through the curtain Kane turned to Carrie expecting distaste and disbelief, she just had a blank vapid look on her face. "I wouldn't . . . they were . . ." He pulled a clenched fist to his forehead when the words didn't come.

_'They deserved it.'_ His inner demon poked through.

"Shut up!" Kane growled to himself. Carrie bit her lip, unsure how to help someone who was fighting themselves.

"They hurt you." She spoke sheepishly.

"It won't happen even-"

_'When she hurts you? Women equal pain Kane! She'll hurt you just like everyone else in your life. You should beat her to the chase.' _Kane grimaced holding his head. Carrie still wasn't sure what to do. She leaned over and hugged him as she did the last time he heard voices, he slunk one arm around her waist.

"I'm not scared."

_'Liar. She's petrified of you. Sickened by you!'_

"I don't believe you." Kane had to side with the voice on this one.

"Face to face time!"

"What?"

"Lift me up a little bit? You're a giant remember?" Carrie laughed, trying to bring down the angst in the room. With no effort Kane lifted Carrie by her sides till they were faces to face. Carrie leaned in and kissed him on the nose.

"You're an idiot." Kane was able to laugh. Carrie kiss him on each cheek and then finally on the lips.

"I'm a lovable idiot though right?" She kissed him again this time lingering a bit longer.

"I guess." He smirked kissing her back. After a few minutes of light PDA Carrie let out a yawn. "Tired?" He knew that Carrie had a never ending battle with sleep, each night either getting too little or too much.

"I'm beat. Before any other excitement I'm going to take a nap." She wiggled her legs, Kane put Carrie back on her feet.

"What did the note say?" Kane hadn't forgotten.

"Uh here." She pulled out the note and handed it to Kane as she waved goodbye. _'Got to keep distance between us, just for a while longer. Does he think I'm weak enough to turn on Kane?' _"I'll meet you out in the ring for the whole signing shenanigans." She picked up her pace.

"I really won't hurt you." Her sudden need to get away from him made him frown. The stupid video must have rattled her.

"Yeah I . . . I know." She nearly tripped over her own feet as she reached the corner.

"Stay safe from . . . everything." Kane shouted giving up all hopes of calming her.

"Keep yourself safe alright?" She called back at him a worried smile on her face.

"Damn odd ball." He shook his head letting out a big sigh as he walked off. He opened the note.

**Secrets will be told**

**Bridges burned**

"The hell does this mean?" He scratched his head.

"Why do we have to do this in the ring?" Kane sneered at Mr. McMahon who stared over at Edge insinuating it was his doing.

"What starts here should end here." Edge answered.

"Fine." Kane spat tapping his foot impatiently. '_Maybe I won't sign the papers. I'll prove to her that I care about her, that I won't hurt her, that I can keep her safe. No stick to the plan, I'm not stable.'_ Kane tried to decide what was best for the couple.

"Where is she?" Mr. MchMahon questioned impatiently. "And where is Lita?" He was looking down at his watch.

"Doing girl stuff probably, talking about hair and shoes or whatever." Edge offered one explanation. Kane shrugged them off just staring at the ramp.

_'I shouldn't have let her go off on her own.' _Shortly after, the screen lit up.

"You need to leave!" Lita was shouting.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Carie tried to walk past her. '_We're already late.'_ Carrie tried to flatten her bed head.

"What is she doing?" Edge muttered to himself.

"You have to listen Carrie. You're in danger!"

"Danger?" Carrie stopped for a second.

"Listen. Things weren't working out as planned so we made a deal."

"A deal. I can guess with who." Carrie seemed visually unnerved._ 'How does he have time for anything else when he's out making all these deals.'_

"Carrie." Kane grew nervous, but they were close, he'd wait. _'He wants me to run after her.'_ Kane was trying to think two steps ahead.

"But I want to help you. That's why I'm telling you to leave!"

"Why are you trying to help me?"

"Because-" Lita was cut off and shoved into a wall.

"Ahhh!" Carrie didn't have time to run a large hand was pulled over her face. _'What is that smell?_' Carrie felt woozy. _'Chemicals?' _Her muscles started feeling lax. _'Lizzie? Sidney? Janet? Kane?'_ Her last waking thoughts were of them.

"That wasn't supposed to happen." Edge spoke as they watched.

"What wasn't supposed to happen?" Kane grabbed Edge by the throat.

"I . . . I" He was gasping and sputtering.

"What?" Kane lifted him off his feet.

"He was just going to scare her not-"

"This is your fault!" Kane slammed Edge into the mat. "Did you know anything about this?" Kane stormed after Vince who shook his head before exiting the ring. Kane's eyes went back to the screen. The camera was snatched from the camera man and focused in on what appeared to be Carrie's unconscious body being dragged down the hall, passing room after room.

"Here it is." The dragging paused. "Kane!" A voice called out for him, it wasn't Carrie. Kane started to charge up the ramp when he spoke again. "Don't leave, you'll miss the show." Carrie was put down on a bench in an empty locker room.

"What's going on?" Kane stood in place though all his muscles ached to run and find them. His nails dug into his palms, scowling when the camera panned to the mask that he himself used to wear. Kane was between a rock and a hard place, out by the screen he could see Carrie but couldn't help her. If he ran back stage who knows how long it would take him to find her and who knows what would be done to her in that time?

"She trusted you and look where it got her?" The camera was placed on the ground, there was a sloshing sound as liquid hit the floor. A can of gasoline was discarded coming into view of the camera.

"I'll kill him!" Kane finally left the ring and started up the ramp, he couldn't debate it any longer. The strike of a match could be heard clear as day. _'He's going to burn her alive!'_ His gaze was still stuck on the screen as he ran. The match had been dropped, a small fire had started, and as far as anyone could tell Carrie had not moved. The second Kane leaned down into frame.

"Secrets told, bridges burned. Maybe this will rekindle the old fire inside of you." The camera was dropped, and black boots made their exit as the flames grew. Over the crackling the lock of a door could be heard.

A/N: probably just going to make the change I asked about


	12. Bags of burden

As Kane charged down the halls nothing was going to curb his momentum, all the doors looked the same, he got more and more frustrated as the minutes passed. Finally he could hear the clamoring of a crowd, the correct door was coming into view. The growing amount of spectators were all debating amongst themselves about how Carrie was fairing and how they would get the locked door open. One person in the hallway was all Kane could see. "You want to be me? Touch what's mine? Then you're going to feel my pain." He tackled his copycat into the ground the only cushion from the rough fall was a duffel bag the man was carrying. Kane was automatically on the offensive, mercilessly laying down a melee of punches. "I'll kill you. Forget a match a fight I'm going to bury you." Kane wrapped his hands around the throat of the pummeled man, slamming the back of the man's head in the hard cement floor. "Don't . . . you ever touch her-"

"Too late!" Was the coughed response. Kane was beyond anger, beyond rage he was as brutal animal out for blood. Punch after punch, he wanted to break the

man's face and he was well on his way.

"Kane! The door's opening!" Lizzie yelled as the metal door began to be pried off it's hinges. Kane let one hand slip away from his assault.

"You have no idea! No idea what I'll do to you."

"Banking on it." There was a short pause. Kane didn't know what to do, how to get back at him for what the bastard had done. Kane bolted to the door, he would figure all this out later.

"Carrie." He waited for a response but nothing came._ 'Is she still unconscious?'_ "Carrie!" He pressed his hand against the door that was still hanging on. The metal began to burn his palm, he knew better than anyone what it was like to be caught in a fire, the panic a person feels as all hope goes up in smoke, the levels of pain one goes through, when you think it can't get worse it does. He slammed his shoulder into the steel door, once, twice again and agin till four pairs of anonymous arms pulled him back. The hinges gave way, flames were still rising and falling.

"Carrie?" Lizzie called into the controlled blaze. They watched helplessly as the 'professionals.' went about snuffing out the fire, trying to 'rescue.' Carrie. Kane refused to wait for the OK to enter the room.

_'There's no time for this. I'll find her myself.'_ He walked in, slowly being enveloped with the stifling heat he placed a forearm ahead of his face. "Carrie?" Her name was the only word on anyone's lips. Kane scanned the small room, he couldn't see much. '_Where is she?'_ Everything became clearer as the fire became contained.

"Carrie say something idiot!" Sidney also stepped through the doorway.

"There's no one else in here, just you two. It's good that she got out." An emergency worker stated.

"What? What do you mean? We saw her, we just saw her in here! It took us forever to get into the door how'd she get out?" Janet entered the room to look for herself. The words 'no one else.'hung in the burnt air.

"She isn't here." Sidney stated flatly. "She couldn't have gotten out without him finding her. It's all your fault that this happened!" He gave Kane a shove, but Sidney's shove did nothing to the human wall that was Kane. "I promised her! Promised her god damn it! That she'd be ok. But you know what? She wasn't worried about herself." Sidney paused, biting back excess animosity, if he was going to find Carrie he didn't have time to fight Kane. At the same time though he just couldn't let the topic drop. "She was so concerned about you." Sidney's logical thinking was short lived as he gave Kane another shove. It was ignored though, Kane had more important things to think about besides the small angry man pushing at him.

_'Where could she be?' _Kane huffed and puffed, his anger and frustration continued to rise. One of the only plausible answer came to mind, making Kane's stomach drop. "The duffle bag. He hid her, took her out of here in that duffle bag." Kane wasn't sure if she could fit in that bag but nothing else made sense. Kane looked through the doorway to see if his impostor had been stupid enough to stick around after the thrashing Kane had delivered, no such luck. "God Damn duffel bag . . . I had him . . . I had her and I let my rage get a hold of me."

_'It's was a release wasn't it'?_ The voice poked through. Kane threw some debris at a wall. "He was right . . . she trusted me and I couldn't protect her . . . he has her now. He has my-"

"She's not yours. She's not your anything! Once we get her back I'm going to personally make sure you never drag her into your shit again. I knew it was a bad idea! You two getting together, even her keeping you company. But there was no swaying her she must have pitted you, look what came from that!" Sidney made a move to give Kane another shove, but it was obvious that the monster had taken as much of Sidney's fit as he could take. Kane had been building up rage and guilt, Sidney's statement hadn't helped. Kane took Sidney by the collar of his shirt. Kane's breath was fast and short, he lifted Sidney up as he contemplated wether or not to take out his anguish on the man in his grasp. Deciding against it Kane just gave a frustrated grunt, tossing Sidney carelessly into the ground._ 'Pity? Is that what this all was? It was different I know what pity feels like. She couldn't be going through all this hell now for pity.'_ Trying not to think about it his eyes searched the room unrealistically hoping for Carrie to appear.

"She's not here you big idiot! She's who the hell knows. She's in real trouble and it's all your fault. You freak it-"

"Sid I know you're pissed but-" Janet started but was quickly shut down.

"Janet I'm more than-" Sidney got up to his feet but his rant was also interrupted.

"It's not his fault!" Lizzie raid her voice.

"How can you take his side!" Sidney pointed angrily at Kane.

"There are no sides Sidney, we're all worried as shit about Carrie that makes us allies not enemies ok?" Lizzie tried to calm down her vengeance filled friend.

"You feel responsible because you two have been thing one and thing two since forever ago." Janet added.

"I promised Janet, I promised her and-" His voice was shaky and still very angry.

"Let me finish. You're taking the fact that you couldn't help her as failing but-"

"I should've ran faster." Sidney snapped. During all of this Kane remained quiet.

_'He's not the only that should've been there. I let her down. She showed me compassion and I couldn't even help her when she needed me.'_ He slammed his fist into the wall beside him.

"Let me finish!" Janet spoke with authority. "You couldn't have known, either of you, what the fucking maniac would do! You shouldn't be so god damn hard on yourself, or each other." She looked back and forth between Sidney and Kane knowing her words had fallen on deaf ears.

"Janet that's all well and goof but Carrie could be really hurt or dead." Sidney huffed.

"Don't say that!" Lizzie cried.

"Lizzie it's not impossible." Sidney didn't know the level this guy would go._ 'She doesn't have her iron supplements, her anemia could make this really bad.' _He kept that fact to himself, no one else knew she was a giant bruise waiting to happen on the daily.

"Don't you say that! Don't you damn say that." Kane broke his silence. "She's alive and I'm going to find her." Kane stormed out of the trashed room.

"Holy fuck this headache is killing me." Carrie gave an injured groan. She blinked a few times but her vision was still pitch black. She went to sit up but couldn't move her legs more than a couple inches, her arms were equally constricted, but it didn't stop her from flailing and struggling trying to get free. She began to hyperventilate as she realized she was more or less trapped, that plus the heat of her confines caused her to drift in and out of consciousness._ 'OK OK calm down Carrie, passing out will do you no good stuck in some kind of sack or something.' _She felt the fabric rub against her injuries._ 'Lets try and remember how you got here.'_ She stopped moving best she could._ 'I woke up from my nap . . . was talking to Lita she was yelling about something._' Her body bolted up and thudded down. _'I'm in the trunk of a car?' _She had ridden in a trunk before, and knew the feelings of a pot hole._ 'What craziness have i gotten myself into?' _Another pot hole, with each bump the status of her body became apparent, her ribs hurt and her arms and legs had a familiar sting. '_Am I burned? I kind of remember smelling smoke. Getting ahead of yourself Carrie. He put his hand over my face, I felt numb . . . and tired. Did he drug me? This is beyond intimidation this is criminal. He laid me down He was talking to someone. Who? What was he saying?_' That was when her memory really grew hazy._ 'Think he left. Fire . . . there was a fire. I tried to get up but I fell, it was getting hotter. He came back. He was pushing and pulling at me, might have punched me a couple times. Then what?'_ She couldn't remember no matter how hard she tried.

Minutes or hours passed before the car came to an elongated stop and the trunk opened. "Awake girl?" He shook her sore body.

"Help! Get the hell off me! Help!" She screamed hoping someone anyone would hear her, she yelled as loud as she could until what she could only assume was a fist crashed into her abdomen.

"Don't speak. You hear me?" He whispered into the trunk. "well?" He pushed his palm into her throat, the force causing her head to crash against the corner of the trunk. The material of the bag was the only cushion between his hand and her skin. "This is what he did to me, Kane. When he saw me, he choked me just like this." He tightened his grip. "I save his precious whore and that was the thanks I got?" Carrie was gasping for air when he finally loosened his grip. "Can I tell you a secret?" He chuckled. "I was going to leave you to fry. But then I got an idea, why torment Kane over one incident when I can torture him for days, a week maybe? What do you think we can do to pass the time?" He lifted the body filled bag from the trunk and placed it over his shoulder. "Don't worry though I never planned on killing you or anything. I'll let you go. You can crawl back to him and tell him all the horrible things that happened to you. Sending him out for revenge. Or you might grow to like me, come to your senses and join me." He was still laughing walking from the parking lot to the lobby of a hotel.


	13. Freedom: it's all it's cracked up to be

She had been locked in the closet for hours, days, she didn't know, she gauged time by her shallow yet rhythmic breathing. Her mind raced back to when she had first been dumped out from the duffel bag onto the hotel bed. How she had gasped at the new air that ran cooly across her heated red face. Once her hungry lungs were satisfied she frantically tried to get free from her captor. She couldn't get away though, he had grabbed at her ankles pulling her constantly closer. "There's no escape Carrie. Not from me!" His eyes pulled her apart. Carrie had felt bile build up in her throat.

"I'm going to be sick!" She couldn't help but blurt out. She had been met with a hard slap across the face.

"This isn't the place for a smart mouth" Sandwiching himself on top of her caused his weight to press hard against her bruised and burned body.

"Aggg! I'm . . . I'm serious I think . . . I think I'm overheating or something. I'm going to hurl!" She shook her head, cringing, waiting for another slap but she was surprised to feel him move off of her.

"Well hurry. I don't need this whole place smelling like your puke." He had pushed her off the bed, she fell with a thud, and strained to sit up. Her eyes darted to the door, to freedom. "Don't do anything you'll regret." He lifted her by her upper arm and shoved her in the direction of the bathroom. She scampered in, closing the door sharply behind her, locking it. She had collapsed to her knees resting her chin against the rim of the toilet, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, eventually she outright sobbed.

_'I wish I had not gotten myself into this . . . I don't know if I can get myself out. I want to go home!' _Thoughts of Kane came to mind, she didn't want to be back in Oregon she wanted to feel safe with him. She eventually did get sick, she just laid on the tile floor till she heard a rattling of the doorknob.

"Get out here!" His voice boomed. She had thought it wasn't wise to anger him beyond his already boiling madness, she relented and opened the door. He had grabbed Carrie by her hair lifting her tired eyes to his. "Willing to play nice?" His voice was oily and unpleasant. Carrie was too weak to speak but not weak enough to give up, she shook her head no as best she could with her hair intertwined in his thick fingers. Carrie's eyes were sad, tired, hurt, yet defiant. "Suit yourself. I'll wear you down, I'll break you Carrie, to the point Kane won't even recognize you." He had pulled her to the closet. "Look at yourself Carrie. Do you think he'll want you back once he sees how ugly you've become." And with a toss she was plopped down in the dark room. "Change of scenery, better than the bag right?" He gave her a sharp kick in the stomach, making sure she'd stay down, the door was closed and then locked. She heard the bed creak under his weight on the other side of the room.

'Sad but true.' She ran her hand down the closet door, closing her eyes since they were of no use in the dark. She reached in her pocket hoping her mace was still there, but it was absent. Her fight or flight adrenaline running out she quickly fell into a stress induced sleep.

"No I can't calm down!" Kane slammed the phone down ending the call. _'Calm down. What the hell does he mean by that?'_ Kane didn't know what he had meant to accomplish with that phone call he just needed some one to talk to. He couldn't talk to Carrie's friend, he'd end up punching Sidney in the face, he couldn't talk to the cops because they weren't taking it seriously and it would lead to him punching an officer in the face, he could talk to his fellow wrestlers because if he saw Edge he'd punch him through a wall.

_'Kane?'_ Carrie's voice perked his ears, but he didn't turn around, simply clenched his eyes and teeth, He had been hearing her voice since not long after she was abducted. He couldn't help it, eventually he turned around, to his empty hotel room.

_'Getting your hopes up, I thought you knew better.'_ Another voice had been plaguing him._ 'She's not coming back, she's long gone.'_

"Shut up!"

_'Just like Katie, you let her down, now you have to let her go.'_

"She's not gone!"

'Come on say it louder maybe you'll actually believe it.' Kane went for his car keys, but threw them at the wall. He didn't know where to look for her, he'd been to all the hospitals in the area, driven down every road he could find, Carrie was out of his reach and it was driving him crazy.

_'She's dead. And its all your fault.'_

"She's not dead!"

_'At best she's burned beyond recognition. Maybe he'll let her borrow his mask. You have yours laying around somewhere right? Her skin was the only thing you liked about her so-'_

"That's not true!"

_'She's not beautifully tall, beautifully skinny, remarkably pretty. Nothing spectacular, but you took her anyway, she was on sale. A nothing remember? That's all she is . . . I'm sorry was. Porcelain skin though.'_

"She's not nothing. She never was, she never will be! Don't talk about like she's a piece of meat."

_'For all we know she's nothing but a pile of ashes.'_

"I said shut up!"

_'Why so you can hear her voice again?'_

"No. No more!"

_'You can trust me you know.'_ Carrie's voice was clear as day in his ears.

"Stop toying with me!"

_'I'll sign the papers. You won't be a caged monster for much longer.'_

_'See she knew it wouldn't last. She wanted you to be the free monster you used to be.' _The voice interjected.

"That's not what she wanted." Kane could hear her, he could even smell her. _'Green apples.'_ The delusional overload to his senses was killing him.

_'What do you think he's going to try and kill me? Murder is a bit drastic don't you think?'_

_'Foreshadowing?'_ The voice taunted.

"Get out of my head!"

_'I'm not mad Kane. It was bound to happen. If nothing else I'm replaceable.'_

_'See nothing to worry about.'_

"I'm not replacing her.'

_'You replaced Katie.'_

"No! I didn't! They're not the same."

_'Letting go is easy. Easier than you think.'_Carrie's voice was growing distant. Kane didn't want to be haunted by his past, but he didn't want the sensation of her being beside him drift away. The phone rang, Kane barely had enough sense in him to answer it.

"What?"

"Did we catch you at a bad time?"

_'He's gloating.'_ Kane couldn't believe the voice he heard on the other end of the line. "Where is she?"

"She's right here with me. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Put Carrie on."

Carrie had no idea what time of day it was when the door opened, or how much time had passed since he had last let her out to stretch her limbs, use the bathroom and fill her stomach with sink water. "Wake up!" He had given a sharp kick to her abdomen.

"Agg" Was the only sound she could make, the wind all but knocked out of her.

"Come on." He picked Carrie up and dragged her by her hair towards the phone. "There's someone who wants to talk to you." He handed Carrie the phone, she had trouble holding the receiver in her shaky hands.

_'Is this a trick?' _She looked up at him fearfully. "H . . . Hello?"

"Carrie?!" Kane's could be heard exclaiming her name.

"Kane?" Her voice was dry and under used.

Kane wasn't sure that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him again. "Carrie Are you ok?" He knew that was a stupid question. He cringed._ 'Of course she's not alright, she's in pain.'_

"I . . . I'm"

"Go ahead." Carrie was met by a smack in the back of the head. "Tell him how much fun we've been having."

_'This is why . . . why he gave me the phone, he wants to torment Kane.'_ "Everything will be ok right?" Carrie began to cry again.

Kane knew she had a broken smile on, he just knew it. "Carrie where are you? I'll come get you wherever you are." There was a frustrated tone to his voice, he wiped a hand over his stressed head.

"I . . . I don't know." Her voice was cracking and it was breaking Kane. "A hotel?"

"Just hold on Carrie."

"Kane?"

"What is it?" He was hanging on every weak word.

"I want you to know I don't blame you for this."

"Don't talk like that. I promise I'll find you." '_If I have to search every hotel room to exist I'll find you Carrie. I'll save you.'_

"I um . . . I really do care about you . . . if I don't see you again I-"

"You're going to see me idiot."

Her captor snatched away the phone. "Wouldn't even let the slut get the words out. I think she was going to tell you she loved you. How adorable don't you agree?"

"Let her go!"

"You'll both be happy to know I'm almost done with her." He petted Carrie's head like she was a dog.

"Where is she?"

"I said almost. I'll give you an option Kane, do you want to hear it? Or should I hang up?"

"What are you talking about? Stay away from her!"

"I want to know . . . what it's like to be close to her like you were. I'm going to have her, see what the big deal is about. So do you want to listen?" His plan was no longer vague.

"Don't you dare!" Kane barked.

"Not an option." The phone was left on the side table. Carrie's wrists were grabbed and she was pulled on to the bed. Carrie began to scream, a pillow was put over her face to muffle her. "I'll take it off if you promise to be quiet." He slowly lifted it.

"I don't . . . I don't . . . please hang up the phone." Carrie said begrudgingly, if this was going to happen, she didn't want Kane to hear.

"At least one of you are listening." Reaching with a long arm he took the phone in his hand. "Well you heard her, she wants some private time."

"Get off of her."

"Bye."

Kane listened to the dial tone for three minutes before ripping the phone off the hook and throwing the whole piece of equipment at the wall. He didn't stop there he went about dismantling the whole room. "The bastard! I'll kill him! I swear I'll kill him! Where could she be? This is all my fault!"

_'You finally get it.'_ The voice returned. Kane crumpled to his knees, his body shaking in anger, he punched the floor over and over.

After Carrie's only connection to the outside world was tucked away, She felt the weight at the end of the bed shift. "He won't want you now! Now that the man he hates has had his way with you. Hell he didn't want you in the first place. But you'll run to him like a lost pup. You'll drag him down with your baggage. You're as good for him as I am Carrie. As good for anyone as a leach." His free hand started inching it's way down Carrie's body.

_'He's right, I'm dirty, and broken.' _No more tears, there was no more emotion in her face, till she heard her shirt begin to tear from the bottom. _'I might not be worth anything but I can't let him do this. Can't let him win'_ She began to flail under his hold.

"Squirm Carrie. Cry, cry for your friends, for Kane, cry for them to come save you." He laughed in her ear.

"Let go!" She was completely unable to get out of his grasp. Finally she opted for a somewhat risky approach to get free. Craning her head up She bit as hard as she could into his shoulder blade, followed by a swift knee where it counted.

"You whore!" He tried to subdue her, punching her once or twice, but with every move he'd make Carrie would find a new way to inflict pain, kicking punching biting scratching by hook or by crook she was going to get away. Slowly but surely she was able to weasel her way free and off the bed. Once out of arm's reach she sprinted out the door and down a hallway. '_Just a little bit further.' _She pleaded with her body not to give out, her legs burning with fatigue.

"Hey!" A perturbed voice spouted at her as she flew past, she barely caught a glimpse. _'Tommy dreamer? ECW? Of corse, that maniac knew if the police were looking for him the only place he could blend in was with eccentric wrestlers just as big if not bigger than himself, he wouldn't stick out to anyone. Ok where is ECW this week? Jeeze you really should've paid attention during that meeting at the house show. But you had to convince Kane to play rock paper scissors with you the whole time.'_ "Kane" She spoke her first free word. _'Am I going back to him? I think I know what hotel he should be in but. . . I'm a broken mess. I shouldn't guilt trip into taking me back, to care for me. So do I hop the next flight to Oregon? Call Sidney and them afterwards? They'll help me rebuild. Or I could leave this nothing life behind and go off somewhere to try and fix me . . . by myself.' _She had to keep her mind running to get her feet to do the same. She was so lost in thought, she didn't see the man at the end of the hall. This misstep caused a collision.

"Oof, sorry!" Pure momentum sent her back a few steps but once she regained her bearings Carrie went to resume her sprint. She was thwarted, a hand was curled around her wrist.

"What's your name?" He knew who she was but the girl he had in his grip was so frantic he had to say something to get through to her. He tried not to look intimidating. All of his attempts were not even registering with the frightened woman, he was nothing but an obstacle in her way.

"Please let me go! He's after me! I've got to get away!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Alright I'll start you can call me R-"

"Please let go!" Carrie pleaded. "He'll kill me when he finds me! Just please let me go!" She was pulling so hard trying to get free that she was bound to dislocate something.

"Hey hey Relax." With those words Carrie finally looked the man in the face. _'Huh' _It was not a face she was expecting to see. "Chill out Ok? No one's going to kill you. Carrie right?" He waited for her sheepish nod. "With all that yelling, I can't do much to help you. You're hurting my ears." He sarcastically cleaned out his ear drum. She was the safest she'd been in days but all she could do was nod. "Here." He took off his sweatshirt and handed it to her.

_'What do I have to lose?' _She pulled the hoodie over her head but all the blood ran out of her face when she realized they weren't alone. "He . . . He found me." She cringed imagining what the monster would do if he got his hands on her.

"Give her back!"

"Dude. You can't go around demanding me to give back what isn't your's not cool." Carrie watched as her protector stepped in front of her, blocking any harm from coming her way.

"Oh and she's yours now? What are you aiming for Carrie the whole god damn roster?" A horrible laugh pierced Carrie's ears. Regardless she felt bolder, safely behind he new friend's back.

"I'm not anyone's." She paused looking up at this new best friend to see if she was pushing her luck.

"Oh now you chose to be quiet." He looked over his shoulder an easy going smile flickering on his face.

"Loud . . . or not I'm not anyone's I'm just . . . mine." She folded her arms over her chest.

"Dude no arguments here." He shrugged. With a turn of his glance all joking was gone from his demeanor, all attempts at appearing calm and approachable were squandered, an ill fitting scowl across his face. "Now you. Don't be stupid, turn around and head back to your room. Or we'll have to work this out the old fashioned way. And trust me that will be very uncool." There was a choking silence as the two men stared down one another. When the silence showed no sign of stopping and the brute showed no sign of backing down, the only person keeping Carrie safe from recapture spoke again. "Carrie, these are the keys to my car, go chill in it. You can lock the doors if you want." His voice still had a twinge of aggression in it.

"O . . . Ok." She wondered why someone she barely knew was being so protective and caring, but she wasn't about to question him. She started to walk in the direction of the lobby when the voice she had grown to hate spoke again.

"Tag partner won't always be around to protect you, make up for Kane. If I have to, I'll find you again. You better keep looking over your shoulder Carrie." He took a step forward, relishing in the moment as Carrie cringed in dread.

"Carrie get in the car." She sped up as she made her way closer to the exit but stopped when out of sight, she felt obligated to stay by the side of the man who had stuck his neck out for her.

"I won't be around to watch over her but trust me you'll wish I would. Cause without me, it's Kane and he won't show any mercy. I'm leaving you with a warning dude. He'll leave you in a pool of your own blood. Don't be stupid, don't follow us Ok?" He waited, daring a word to come from behind the mask, when nothing came a high cross kick knocked the big man down. "Consider that your warning dude." He bobbed left and right on his feet till he was sure the creep wasn't going to get up.

"Holy crap!" Carrie was dumbfounded by how easily the man that had caused her so much turmoil had been put in his place.

"Do you always ignore what people say? Or just me?"

"If I hadn't ignored you I would've missed that." Carrie's shallow blue eyes finally had a sense of calm in them, knowing at least for the moment she was in no danger. "By the way thanks . . . for all that. It was very nice and kind of unexpected of you." She gave a small smile of praise.

"Unexpected? Dude I'm insulted that you think I don't spend all my time saving beauties from the beasts." He watched her mannerisms. Even while they talked casually she was clutching her sides as if she might spill out through her seams. "Dude you need a doctor." He noted opening the door as they finally left the hotel.

"It's night." She stated in a very spacey tone, breathing in the welcomed fresh air, starring out at the ink colored sky.

"You need a doctor real bad." He corrected himself.

"Hey lay off! I've been locked in a closet for . . . what day is it?" She questioned._ 'It's like I just came out of a coma.' _She chuckled at her sad situation.

"Saturday . . . man how hard did you hit your head?"He put a hand to the back of her skull, he could feel a scabbed over cut. Carrie quickly winced away from his hand.

"Don't" She had not yet become readjusted with a nonthreatening touch,

"Sorry. Over here." He pointed out his car trying best he could to inspect her injuries from a distance. She was bruised, burned, her hair matted, her eyes sunken in dark bags beneath them, she was shaking due to what he assumed were nerves.

"Where are we going?" Carrie knew she wanted to get far away from the hotel grounds but she didn't know where exactly she wanted to be._ 'I know where I want to go, but I don't know where I should go.' _She corrected herself.


	14. reaching limits

As the motor turned on, Carrie inspected the car. Her eyes locked onto something resting next to her feet "What?" He scratched his head. "Oh dude. You can have that if you want, it's not open. They're all over the place." He laughed as she quickly picked up a protein bar off the car floor. "Plus." He began with a smile. "We're high tailing it out of here, don't see why we can't get some food. Cool?"

"That would be good." Her mouth salivated at the prospect of food. As her stomach grumbled in hunger she realized another familiar pain in her gut. She knew what it was though she hadn't felt it in years, she knew it wasn't good, she knew what she needed do, but she just sat there quietly.

"And Kane said you were difficult."

"Kane? Said I was difficult?"_ 'I didn't even know these two talked anymore.' _

"Don't sweat it! Kane thinks everyone difficult or annoying, or too laid back . . . too cool, too picky of an eater too-"

"Gotch you." Carrie laughed. "Regardless of what he told you I'm not a picky eater I just don't like a lot of food."

"You threw tomatoes at him."

"I don't like tomatoes, they're slimly and nasty, tastes like . . . How do you know that?"

"Ok no tomatoes alright, don't dig on veggies? I know!" He slammed a palm against the wheel. "Save the date July twenty first!"

"July twenty first?"

"National Junk food day!"

"Huh?"

"National Junk food day. We have a big party you're totally invited!"

"That sounds nice. I barely know you." Carrie voiced her concern. "You're acting awfully accommodating to me, and I appreciate it really!" '_You saved me.'_ "But um . . . what are your intentions?"

"Dude you caught me. I was trying to put my best foot forward to make you stay."

"Huh?" Carrie rubbed her forehead._ 'Maybe I bumped my brain worse than I thought. He's not making any sense. Stay?' _She scrunched her face in confusion.

"There's been a lot of people who acted totally uncool to Kane over the years. He's a hard dude to get along with. We split on some harsh terms, then bam out of nowhere who's phone does he start blowing up? Your's truly. This might blow your mind, but Kane isn't really much for conversation. But this was important to him, and of course, I've got his back. Do you know what he called about?" He saw how intently she had been listening to the drawn out explanation. Deciding not to wait for an answer and busy trying to find a fast food place, he continued. "Dude Carrie he called about you, He called the first time a few days after you came around. He said me and you were kind of alike. Totally see it, you're cool, I'm the coolest dude you'll ever meet. I mean Kane didn't exactly word it that way, but I can read between the lines. He said you scared him but I know he-"

"Why would I scare him? What could I do to him?" She didn't get an answer right away, they had pulled up to an order window, he was spouting off what he wanted.

"Annnd, no tomatoes." He gave Carrie a thumbs up. "He was scared of you because you weren't scared of him. Took that big wall down, between Kane and the big scary world." He rolled his eyes handing her a bag of an assortment of greasy food it was music to Carrie's senses. "Dig in!"

"He hated me didn't he? For breaking his wall or whatever?" She frowned in-between obscene bites of food.

"Whoa Whoa calm down! You're going to bite off a finger dude. There's plenty Ok?" He couldn't help but laugh at her chipmunk cheeks. "At first. Yeah." He watched as she held her stomach in pain. "Told you not to eat so fast."

_'That's not it.'_ Carrie winced, it was the building ache lurching it's way through her body._ 'I need to get to a doctor. Just ask idiot!' _But she shook her head, hair crumpling over her face. '_He's doing you a favor, don't be pushy.'_ She didn't want to make a declaration of a desired location, she was still unsure of where she was, and where she should go.

"Anyhoo,he was mad at first. I mean that's what Kane does." He shrugged. "But he was mostly confused you know? And nervous. That's why he asked for my advice. I know a thing or two about ladies." He nodded with authority.

"Nervous?"

"He would tell me that he'd look at you, the odd ball-" This finally got Carrie to laugh. "And that sometimes you'd look back. He didn't know what to do. He would ask me that all the time: What the hell am I supposed to do? He'd say she talks so much almost as much as you. I don't think I talk a lot. Do you think I talk a lot?"

"Well I-"

"Kane would say how he doesn't talk. That he didn't know how to hold a conversation. He was worried that you'd stop looking at him and talking to him or whatever. He's always so hard on himself, he was worried you'd figure he couldn't do anything right. He was scared of losing you Carrie." He watched her shake her head. "What?"

"He didn't really want me around, losing me was on the top of his list. You don't have to lie." Carrie took a fry and stuck it unhappily in her mouth.

"Lie? Do I look like someone who would lie to you?" It was his turn to shake his head. "Last monday he called. He was angrier than I've ever heard him, and that's saying something, screaming like a mad man. He swore and cursed everything and anything he could think to blame! But the worst part was he blamed himself, like hardcore." He paused again waiting for a response.

"It wasn't his fault! Sidney probably told him that! It was my fault I was running late and . . . how could he think that?" There was a hint of panic in her voice, followed by a short coughing fit.

"You Ok?" He got the nod he was looking for. '_She really looks pale.'_ He sped up slightly. "Dude I'm with you on that . . . I mean the whole not his fault thing. I don't think it was your fault either." At his heightened speed he began driving south to Philadelphia, the next stop of Raw.

"That's kind of . . ." Carrie let out a yawn. "Kind of nice of you to say." a second yawn punctuated her statement.

"Hey the truth is nice sometimes." He nodded. "Maybe you should catch some Zzzzs. Let your chakra re set itself and what not. Maybe think about what I said. Kane really cares about you dude, I think you two can make it through this." He wanted to help Carrie get comfortable but he knew she didn't want to be touched so he watched as she contorted awkwardly in the seat.

"Ok." She knew she needed to stay awake, but the warm food in her stomach was coaxing her into slumber.

"Goodnight." He smiled as her weighted eyelids close.

"Goodnight Dude." She chuckled before nodding off into a dream.

"How old are you?"

"I'm sixteen, Sidney's like sixteen and a half, Taylor is-"

"It was a rhetorical question Carrie. My point is you're too old to be acting this stupid. A brawl at the Soph hop?" Mr. Delsin snapped.

"I think we're still young enough." Carrie smirked from the back seat of the car. "Oh Ow . . ow" There was a sharp pain in her abdomen, the likes of which she never felt.

"What is with your attitude?"

"Carrie are you alright?" Sidney shook her.

"I . . . I'm fine." She shook her head at Sidney. "Let me out here!" She demanded. "God damnit." The pain was growing.

"Don't try to play sick with me now it's not going to get you out of trouble not with me and not-"

"You're not my dad!" Carrie belted. "Stop the car!"

"Carrie have you been drinking?"

"Dad you don't understand it-"

"I don't understand? Enlighten me."

"They kept calling her little orphan Annie. Brian said something about Carrie's mom and shit . . . I mean stuff got out of control. Carrie?" Sidney shook her yet again, she was crying, clutching her abdomen. The car finally came to a stop, Mr. Delsin turned around. Carrie yanked at the door handled and stepped out of the car, staggering a few steps into the rain. '_ Don't let them see you cry Carrie. Don't you do it. Orphan Annie. I don't need anyone? Ever think about that Brian? I can do all this on my own. You threw me into an amplifier? I knocked your god damn front teeth out.'_ Carrie's knees buckled she fell to the pavement, she began to hack, looking down at her dress, there was blood. _'I'm coughing up blood? Just from that one hit?' _Carrie couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it, she wiped her mouth clean.

"Carrie, get back in the car." Mr. Delsin pulled up beside her.

"Just leave me alone." She coughed again but kept her teeth clenched choking back her blood.

"I know you're upset but-"

"I'm going home!" She could only hope Nathan wasn't at the house that night. She began to run, crossing through yards and side streets to ditch the car tailing her but she came to a dead halt when the pain in her abdomen sent shockwaves through her body. She coughed again, she fell to her hands and knees as she coughed and gasped, not soon into the fit she passed out. When she came to, she was in a hospital room.

"Hey." Mr. Delsin was sitting across from her bed.

"Hey." She shrugged. "What happened?"

"You were a dumb teenager that got in a dumb fight."

"It wasn't dumb I'm not going to let anyone talk about my mom like-"

"Would she want you to pass out in a gutter and almost die of internal bleeding?" Carrie had suffered minor blunt force trauma at a lacrosse game two days prior, the bruise didn't heal and the rumble on the dance floor caused a laceration, due to her anemia which slowed her blood's ability to clot even the small cut led to a case of internal bleeding.

"No but at least then-"

"No she wouldn't instead of trying to defend her honor with fighting which Carrie you just can't do, you're anemic and you know that. You can't change what happened and you can't change stupid, but you can make your mother proud. I might not be your dad but-"

"I'm sorry for saying that." Carrie's head hung low.

"I forgive you. If you promise me three things."

"What?"

"You need to take care of yourself better. No more self destructive behavior ok? Know your body, know your limits"

"Ok" Carrie nodded. "And?"

"You wan't people to respect your mom? You have to. Be you ok? More importantly be a better you than people think you can and then rub it in their faces. Three . . . well I'll let Sidney tell you the third."

"Sidney?" Carrie craned up in her seat slowly.

"Ta da!" Sidney walked through the doorway, Skittles bags in both hands. Mr. Delsin walked out.

"Do you know what he's talking about?"

"Well me and him, went to the grocery store. He didn't say that, the ridiculous amount of eggs and toilet paper he bought was a get well soon present, that we could pass on to the tools that called you Orphan Annie. . . but that's exactly what he said." Sidney stuck out his palm for a high five.

"Best gift ever!" Carrie grinned ear to ear.

"Best gift ever? What the fast food? Oh . . . you're talking in your sleep now I get what Kane was saying, guess she really doesn't ever stop talking." He couldn't help but laugh, this caused Carrie to stir.

"Huh? What?" She wiped her eyes, gritting her teeth as she sat upright. Carrie coughed, turning towards the window looking down at her palm she saw blood. '_I Know my limits . . . I'm almost at them.' _She took a napkin and cleaned herself up.

"You ok?" He was questioning his decision to delay the doctor.

"Is the car stopped?" Carrie looked out the window to see a stationary truck beside the car. "Where are we?" She opened her door.

"Philadelphia." That statement halted her exit, she retreated back into her seat and closed the door. '_Here I am, that sad pup running back to Kane. Why am I going back? I don't want to be here, or anywhere._' She slouched wondering how long she could hide in that car.

"Dude I know it's a nice ride but don't you think Kane has beat himself over this long enough?" He hinted, running a hand through his hair feeling overwhelmed by what he had gotten himself into.

'_Ok that answers that question, not long at all. You'll tell Kane that its not his fault then . . . maybe Philly is a place to start fresh.' _She cautiously left the safe harbor of the car and headed to the hotel, turning around to make sure that he wasn't leaving her.

"Right behind you. I'm overdue for a visit myself." He smirked.

"Excuse me what room is . . . Kane in?" Carrie asked quietly.

"Who are you?" The attendant looked at them skeptically.

"Who are we? Are you kidding?" His jaw looked like it was going to hit the floor. "I'm the whaler fucking show, the human highlight reel, Mr. Tuesday night." When the woman behind the desk didn't react he spelled it out for her. "RVD"

"RVD?" Still there was no recognition.

"Go for it. You're not going to get a better set up than that." Carrie rolled her eyes smiling slightly, knowing where this was going. Without hesitation he did just that.

"Rob. Van. Dam" He stated alongside his trademark gesture.

"May I use your phone?" Carrie asked but simply took the phone and began to dial.

"Rob?" Maria waved from an open elevator.

"Hey, hold the door!" Rob ushered Carrie away from the phone.

_'It was still ringing!'_

"Oh wow." Maria gasped. "You look terrible." She tried to pat Carrie on the shoulder.

"Thanks." Carrie chuckled.

"I mean um . . . not like that I oh. . . You're probably looking for Kane right?" Maria changed the subject.

"Yeah. Dude do you know what room he is in?"

"ummmm." Maria tried to think. "I think 290." Maria remembered the police going to her room by accident, before heading for Kane's.

"Great!" Rob pushed the second floor button.

Kane was laying on the bed starring up at the ceiling, another unsuccessful day of searching was over. He had obtained a new phone for the room on the off chance he called again. _'Where is she? What is he doing to her?'_ His fists clenched. Horrible images came to mind.

_'Don't worry Kane, as long as your alright that's all she cares about.'_ The voice hadn't let go. '_Worth it right? You know what's happening to her, she's going through this all for you, don't you feel special? Do you think she regrets it?'_ Kane no longer even bothered to yell back at the voice.

Carrie didn't move, simply standing outside room 209, waiting for something but that something never came. She just stared at the door for a moment or two.

"Too sore to knock?" Rob tried to lighten the mood.

"Just wait till I can feel my legs again, you're in so much trouble." Carrie stated with an awkward smile. Being in the same building as Kane had given her a taste of her old confidence but it would take all she could muster to see him again._ 'No going back now.' _She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. "Kane?"

She spoke into the crack of the door. She hated lingering there, she felt mostly numb, only the growing pain in her abdomen still registered, it was ever churning.

"I'll send her to her friends if you're not going to let her in." Rob was annoyed, he knew Carrie needed real rest, and real medical attention that couldn't wait on Kane's leisure.

Had her heard her voice? _'Not again? I can't take it anymore.' _Kane's eyes clenched shut. He had been hearing her on and off for days. He had been hearing her calling out to him, but every time he turned to see her there was only a void where she would be standing._ 'Rob?'_ He sat up, that was a voice he hadn't heard haunting his head recently._ 'Rob and Carrie? Why? Am I making this up too? I want it to be her but if it's not . . . I'll snap.'_ He stood up and sluggishly opened the door. "Carrie?" Kane reached out to touch her face, wanting to make sure he wasn't starting to see things. Carrie couldn't help but cringe, she was still rattled.

"Kane." She was on the verge of tears. He pulled her to his chest hugging her as tight as he could till he felt her tightened in pain.

"Agk." She let out a sharp groan of hurt. _'My limit, I think I'm there.' _

"You're back. You're safe Carrie." He lifted her off the floor to kiss her. _'I thought I'd lost you completely.'_ He continued to kiss her, ignoring the man standing behind Carrie. "Did you mean it?" He broke their embrace and put her back down.

"Mean what?" Carrie's voice was still soft and shaky. She tried to think what he was asking about. Remembering their last conversation. "That I don't blame you? I don't! Kane I really don't. I was-"

"When you said you cared . . . you were going to say. . ." _'Was she really going to say she loved me?'_ "Never mind." _'She was in distress. We haven't been together long enough to love each other but-'_ "Carrie I . . . I . . . You're important to me, I care about you." He danced around the statement. She had been gone from his life and he was left with the knowledge that the woman who was the focus of his life was gone and she din't even know how much she really meant to him. He was taken a back when she started to break down. Tears were blurring her vision as she mulled over what he had said and more importantly implied.

_'Important? No I'm not, not anymore. You're a mess Carrie. If he wants to really care for someone it should be someone worth it. Maybe before, when I was whole, but not now. Don't be selfish Carrie, don't let him make the mistake of wasting all his 'good emotions' on you. I more or less said I loved him, I was about to, everything is different now. If you love him Carrie, as much as you can in a month, you have to save him from yourself.' _She took a few steps back.

"Carrie?" He closed the gap she had made, he pushed back some of her matted bronze hair behind her ear, his large hand lingering at her face, tracing a purple bruise with his fingers.

"No. You don't, you can't." Carrie let out a gasp that crumpled back into a sigh, she feverishly wiped at the corner of her eyes.

_'I shouldn't have said that. Not now, I'm not meant to talk I always say something wrong. I should be taking care of her, getting her to the hospital, wringing the neck of that son of a bitch for laying his disgusting hands on her.' _But the only thing he did was take the hand that Carrie had to use to push at her weeping eyes, running his thumb over it. He burned with emotions he thought had been successfully buried in a few days time.

"Look at the time . . . I need to go check my tire pressure." Rob chuckled lightly, shifting awkwardly in the door way. "Dude just yell out the window if you need me. I'll be right there" He gave a tubs up and walked down the hall.

Carrie finally fully entered the hotel room, they were alone, together the first time in a while. "I can try. I'm no good Carrie . . . with feelings." Kane let out a sigh. "Emotions are awful. But I can try to show you that you're not nothing, that I care." He tried to pull her close but she squirmed away pressing her back to the wall. "You don't think I can Carrie? You don't think a monster could care abut you? Because I let you down? Are you scared of me again? Was Sidney right? Was it just pity?" Kane rambled, he wasn't angry he was upset but he wouldn't let that completely show, he wouldn't let his barrier down, not after being stung by Carrie's cold words.

"I don't pity you. Kane it's just you shouldn't care . . about me." She closed her eyes not wanting to watch as she threw away what they had worked so hard to achieve in the first place. "You should care about someone who's whole . . .a girl that is important, pure, pretty and is capable of caring about you." Carrie tuned away from him, her eyes still clenched shut, her arms wrapped around her ribs, as she explained to him that she wasn't what he deserved.

"I thought I had that." He frowned. "I thought I had . . . you. What did he say to you? They were all lies! I'm sorry I let him get to you but I'll make it up to you. However bad he hurt you'll I'll break him twice as bad." Kane was confused, so hopeless in this scenario. He knew Carrie would be hurt, but these wounds seemed to run surprisingly deep, down into her very core._ 'I didn't expect this . . . Even from him. But I won't lose Carrie twice to him, I'll keep her, we'll make it through this somehow. '_

"I'm not! I'm broken! I came here to tell you I'm alive and then leave. Kane I've got to go now or I won't be able to." She scampered with the last amount of energy she had left, to her luggage. Scanning the room she saw her deck of cards on the bed. Walking over she picked it up, the folded flap was tearing. "I thought I dropped these."

" You did, it was in the . . . I picked it up." He didn't want to bring up the traumatic incident. "Sidney tried to take your things but I wanted everything to be the same when you got back." Kane spoke cautiously. He had kept the deck next to him while she was missing. Shuffling the deck kept his mind lost in memory, keeping him from going on a rampage. He had played solitaire when feeling no reason to leave the room, or do much of anything. He had thrown the deck at the phone when the missing persons officer had no news. It had been his only connection to the distant Carrie.

"Are they all here?" She pulled out the cards, smiling as she felt a comfort of her 'normal' life.

"All of them." He nodded. "Sorry about the box. I needed your comfort Carrie . . . I was alone . . . I'm used to being alone . . . I thought I was, till you were gone, till I knew what companionship does . . . even to a monster and what losing it tears from you."

"You were alone. I'm sorry for that." She tried to let her tenderness overlap her sadness and self loathing. Against better judgement she moved closer to Kane and gave a light hug to one of his large arms._ 'I'm sorry.' _Pain was shooting from the burned and bruised parts of her flesh but she shrugged it off to the best she could.

"You're all I got Carrie. I don't have any friends . . . I don't want any." He scowled.

"See what I've done to you? I had tried to fix it, tried to undo the changes I forced on you, but it didn't work. I'm sorry for pushing myself on you. This could have all been avoided if I had respected your boundaries, your desire to be alone. But I wouldn't and I regret it-" She let go of him realizing her words and her actions were conflicting.

"Do you?" he watched her nod slowly. "I don't. Carrie do you . . . do you hate me? Do you blame me for what happened?" He couldn't stomach the thought but he already figured it was true. The notion ate away at what remained of the control over his rage. _'That's why she's given up on us. This is why she's running from me. She hates me for what I've done and what i wasn't able to do. It's true, I should've been there. I could have stopped him.'_ He clenched his fists, feeling anger roll through him like a hurricane. Carrie watched in concern as Kane's eyes grew dark and frightening.

"No." Carrie reached out and placed one hand tentatively on his tightened knuckles, constantly touching and then refraining to do so was wearing them both thin. Carrie still didn't know what she wanted. "Never." She ran her fingers along the tense joints. Kane looked down at her, even under her bruises her light complexion glowed, even under the burns each inch of skin was warm to the touch, he relished in the touch she allowed him. Even under her tears her lake blue eyes were mesmerizing. Even under all the carnage she was beautiful. Carrie even in her moment of weakness had an odd kind of strength and conviction. The enigma of Carrie was what bewitched Kane. She was perfect to him but she couldn't accept that, not with the word 'Broken' emblazoned on her psyche.

"Don't go." He sighed. "I don't . . . don't leave me again . . . don't abandon me." He spoke as softly as he could, hoping to coax her back to the way things were. His voice was still cold and haunting. _'I can't have anyone else pull the rug from under me. I got attached and now she's leaving.'_

"I'm broken!" She repeated out loud what kept shoving itself in her face.

"This will all pass . . . all the bruises, the burns, the hurt . . . And what happened on the phone, it will all pass with time."

"Did the hurt pass when you-"

"We're not talking about me." He growled knowing sometimes the truth was better left in the ashes of the past.

"I am. Kane don't try and-" Carrie was cut off yet again. Kane wasn't giving up without a fight.

"I'm trying to help you. Talking about . . . what I've become isn't helping you."

"You can't help me! I'm broken! I'm damaged goods! I've been breaking for a long time now Kane. I'm beyond help. I'm weak and filthy and it took a lowlife like him to drill into my head that I was kidding myself, and robbing you of the life you had." When she had been locked in that closet, she was constantly being bearded he played her like a fiddle, it brought back memories of living with Nathan, and amplified all her insecurities. Carrie went for the door but Kane beat her to it, standing between her and her escape route. He stared at her coldly for a minute before his voice boomed through the hotel room.

"Broken? Stop saying that! You've BEEN broken? Since when Carrie? When were you going to tell me you were 'damaged goods.' Cause I sure as hell didn't notice. You didn't seem broken when we met, you didn't seem broken even when he started coming after you, a broken person couldn't withstand a monster like me. You're not broken Carrie!" He took a minute to breath. '_I'm scaring her.' "_You're not going to convince me Carrie, you're not some fragile little nothing. If this is over that's one thing but I'm not going to let him win, I won't let that bastard take you down with him. Hell even if you are broken I have never wanted something . . . someone broken so much in my life. I'll fix you, I'll return the favor. Before now I wasn't able to care for someone . . . I tried." His voice trailed off to bitter memories. "I might not be boyfriend material, but this machine, this monster is unrelenting." He had worked himself into a frenzy he leaned down and kissed her._ 'I wont let her leave this way.'_ He broke the kiss and stared down at her big eyes wondering if anything had gotten through to her.

"It was never a matter of if I cared about you."_ 'This is so god damn hard.'_

"It wasn't?"

"If I'm being truthful and I guess it's only fair that I do. As dopey as it sounds I cared about you since the day I kissed you goodnight. But what you're not getting is, it doesn't matter what I want or what I feel. I'm just no good and-" She was silenced by another kiss, Kane decided words weren't working maybe actions would.

"Carrie do you still want to be with me?" He pulled back giving her just enough room to speak.

"Kane don't do this to me it's-" Kane would not be deterred, each embrace had more intensity than the one before it.

"Do you still care about me?" He breathed between kisses.

"Yes but-" This time she felt herself give in. _'Just for a minute.'_ She convinced herself.

"Then that's it." That was all Kane needed, he had not lost her entirely and he could salvage this, he needed just that glimmer of hope and there was nothing he would let get in his way.

"That's it?" Carrie cocked her head to the side.

"That's it." Kane picked Carrie up bridal style and placed her gingerly on the bed. "Are you comfortable? Let me get changed and I will take you to the hospital." He could see she was paler than normal, now that the argument had died down he could see how feint she was. _'I was blinded. I wasn't looking at how bad she really was.' _He kissed her on the forehead and rushed to the bathroom. Carrie began to cough again, her mouth filled with blood, but she choked it down. Kane came out, cringing when he saw her curled up in a fetal position.

"Don't worry I-" He stopped when he heard a banging on the door.

"Oh god!" Carrie sat up fear all over her face.

"Stay here."_ 'He won't get to her again.'_ He swung the door open and was met with a punch in the face, he quickly retaliated with one of his own.


	15. Don't have time

"Who the hell are you?" Kane asked only after throwing the man to the ground, he was no masked monster that's was for sure.

"Dad!" A small girl scurried around Kane, stepping over his his foot, using his leg for balance. Kane stared down dumbfounded.

_'Who are these people? What is a kid doing in here?'_ He looked over to Carrie for guidance. She was hunched over, shaking slightly._ 'She's in so much pain.' _He was knocked with a wave of guilt. _'I let her down again. I should have taken her right to the hospital but instead I picked a fight. Idiot.'_ Carrie watched as Kane's face contorted in a sickly fashion, only to stare back down at the father and child at his feet, he picked up the man he had tossed to the floor.

_'He'll kill him.'_ Carrie's haggard eyes popped open. "Kane that's-"

"Fisher Correll." The wispy man waited for Kane to release him and back away but when the monster's scowl deepened he was forced to think of a plan B.

"Fisher." The name took a minute to connect, Kane had other things on his mind than Carrie's Ex. "We don't have time for this." A second time he tossed Fisher to the ground. Kane went to walk over to Carrie but Fisher scampered to his feet and got to her first. "Move." Kane didn't want anyone within arms length of her, his compulsion to protect her had never been higher.

"Carrie!" Fisher exclaimed pulling Carrie into a heavy hug.

"Ahhh! Fisher Fisher let go!" Carrie cried out.

"Get the hell off of her!" Kane grabbed Fisher by the hair literally ripping the man off.

"You need to chill the fuck out!" Fisher snapped.

"Language." Carrie pointed over at Olivia, Fisher's daughter that had taken a seat next to her on the bed.

"Fine, I'll just ignore him. Your knight in shining armor has arrived to save the day!" Fisher took Carrie's hand and kissed the top.

"Knight? Right." Carrie chuckled as she pulled back her hand wiping it on her pant leg.

"Yup I'm here to rescue you . . . slay the dragon, return to Camelot and live happily ever after." Fisher had a confident smile on his face. Kane was using all the restraint he had, not to take out all his frustration out on Fisher, he was simmering, growling as he tried to focus on his breathing.

'_I didn't think it was possible. For me to dislike one of Carrie's friends more than Sidney. But Lancelot over here has done the impossible. Who the hell does he think he is?' _"Like I said." Kane's voice oozed annoyance and anger. "We don't have time for this!"

"Fisher you idiot! What the hell are you trying to do! We have no business here, we're not associating ourselves with this asshole! It's his fault she went missing in the first place! We'll find Carrie by our own fucking selves." Sidney ranted his way through the open door, Janet and Lizzie in toe.

"Language." Carrie rolled her eyes, hands now over Olivia's ears.

"Carrie!" Sidney's face lit up with surprise. When they had gotten a phone call with no one on the other line Sidney had thought nothing of it, only a wrong number. Fisher had called the number back and then demanded they rush over to the hotel._ 'His spidey senses were right.' _Sidney was now grinning ear to ear.

"Hey Sidney." Carrie waved. "Janet. Lizzie."

"Talk about not shutting up . . . dude!" Rob wormed his way in to the already cramped hotel room looking over at Sidney. "So I was minding my own business, calling home. Remember save the date." He pointed to Carrie.

"July twenty first." She nodded.

"What does this have to do with the three ring circus rushing my room?" Every muscle in Kane's body was tense._ 'Great, just what I need. He says one word, one word to me I'll shove my fist down . . .' _Kane paused, even if Sidney mouthed off to him he had to focus. _'We don't have time for this. Carrie needs a doctor and if I send Sidney to the hospital in an ambulance that would only make things complicated.'_

"Don't rush the story dude." Rob shook his head.

"We don't-"

"So minding my own business, phone call blah blah blah. Then I see this dude booking it! He's yelling and cursing, totally bugging out." He shrugged in Sidney's direction. "And I heard your name." Again he pointed to Carrie. "Then the girls chase after." His finger moved between Janet and Lizzie. " I had to hang up, leave it to Rob Van Dam to neutralize a situation so I-"

"How'd that go?" Carrie chuckled, she was opening and closing her hands, she was starting to feel pins and needles.

"Dude I tried to tell them you were fine but-"

"You call that fine?" Sidney didn't let the words get out of Rob's mouth before jumping down his throat. Carrie tried her best to straighten up, relax her face, she tried her best to look 'fine'.

"Big Carrie will be fine. She always is. Hey Big Carrie we should go out for root beer floats like we did that time I fell off the monkey bars." Olivia finally spoke, she didn't understand why all the adults were yelling. "You'll be ok Big Carrie." She nodded with authority.

_'I'm not going to be fine. I'm not fine now.' _Carrie was getting more and more light headed. "That sounds like a good idea." She nodded, there was no need to explain the gravity of the situation to a six year old.

"Big Carrie?" Rob laughed.

"I was pushing so hard for Olivia to call her Big C but apparently that could be taken the wrong way and apparently that's not hilarious to anyone but me." Janet grinned.

"Olivia goes to school with a girl named Carrie. I'm big Carrie she's little Carrie." She rolled her eyes at Janet's master plan.

"Big Carrie?" Olivia waved for her to move in closer.

"Yeah?" She whispered.

"Whose the scary guy?" Olivia pointed up at the angry giant, shifting his ghostly stare from one person to the next.

"Olivia that's not very nice you don't even know Kane and-"

"Kane?" The young girl was no longer whispering.

"What?" Hearing his name snapped him out of his building resentment for all the occupants of the room.

"Big Carrie he's the reason you got lost!"

"Lost?" Carrie looked over at the adults. _'They felt the need to turn Olivia against Kane too?'_

"When we came to visit, Sidney said you weren't there because you were lost, and we couldn't find you and it was because you and Kane were friends and that Kane isn't a good friend and then something happened and you got lost." Olivia rambled on.

"You think I wanted this to happen? That I planned this? I wasn't trying to put her in danger." Kane couldn't keep quiet anymore, he quickly snapped at Sidney. "It was my fault that he-"

"That I got lost?" Carrie sad with emphasis, lost was much easer for a kid to understand than kidnaped and nearly scorched. "That's not exactly true. I'd tell you the whole story, but it's a long story."

"I hate long stories. Ugh." Olivia sighed falling back on the bed.

"Ugh, that's exactly how I feel about that story too." Carrie smirked.

"So Dad says your going home soon, but we can hang out first right?" Olivia asked hopefully.

_'Home?'_ Carrie still hadn't made up her mind.

"You guys live here?" Rob questioned.

"We live in Hershey, Olivia's mom lives back in Oregon so we visit a lot." Fisher shrugged.

"Dad said maybe you two would date again, you'd stay here then right?"

"Liv That's not what I said." Fisher panicked, he had planned on asking Carrie out again but this was not the time or place.

"Well we need to take her away from the monster." Olivia stared up at Kane again. He just scoffed and looked away.

"You're right Olivia. If what Sidney says is true, Carrie we need to get you away from him."

Kane's teeth could be heard grinding.

_'What did Sidney say? If I leave him with Carrie what lies will he tell her to take her away from me?'_

"Enlighten me Fisher what did Sidney say?" Carrie stated flatly.

"Not a minute out the car Sidney starts going off on this Kane guy . . . You" Fisher finally acknowledged Kane's presence. "Kane's fault this, Kane did that, Kane beat the sh-"

"Language." Carrie warned.

"Beat the living crap out of Carrie" At this Carrie rolled her eyes.

_'Why do I even bother. Sidney really started a one man army against Kane.' _

"I didn't!" Kane snapped, losing his composure again.

"Sidney that's bull and you know it!"

"I saw the bruises, the first night you were-"

"He didn't do that on purpose, he was having a panic attack or something. I let it go and so should you!" Carrie was pissed that Sidney was slandering Kane, giving Fisher and Olivia the wrong idea about him. Kane wasn't as upset, he couldn't care less what these more or less strangers thought of him, he was used to being misunderstood, he was taken aback by how aggressively Carrie was defending him.

_'She understands me, more than anyone else. She actually tried, she went digging for the man beneath the monster. I won't find that in anyone else. I can't let them snatch her away from me. I want her, I need her.' _Kane turned to Sidney, he had to say something, silence meant acceptance. "I wouldn't hurt her." In a far calmer tone he repeated to Carrie. "I wouldn't" He wanted her to believe him, to trust in him.

"We won't let you!" Sidney spat. With that statement all formalities were gone, Kane could no longer hold back all the anger that had formed within him. Kane began to advance on Sidney with malice in his eyes.

"Back off." Fisher wedged himself between Kane and Sidney, a look of attempted intimidation on his face.

"Dude you two must've been dropped on your heads as kids . . . or have a death wish." Rob laughed nervously, he stepped forward knowing it'd be no joking matter if Kane got pushed too far. His voice changed to one of a stern warning. "You guys are the ones who need to back off before you bite off more than you can chew." Oliva looked up at the man who had been silent for some time and a huge grin spread across her face. Pulling at Carrie's sleeve Olivia whispered in her ear still giggling, Carrie joined in.

"What?" He looked over himself to see if there was anything worth laughing at.

"She says you sound like a ninja turtle." Carrie, if she wasn't so concerned about the three men about to kill each other, would've laughed far fuller. The light humor could not break the tension in the room.

"You . . . don't tell me . . . what to do." Kane was taking deep breaths but it was doing nothing to calm him down.

"No but I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make kid, my friends my Carrie-" He saw the fire ignite in Kane's eyes as he addressed Carrie as his, he now knew what button to push. Fisher took one step towards Carrie and Olivia but that's as far as he got.

"You can't have her, she's not yours." Kane had all intentions of sending Carrie home to Oregon till it was safe but he wanted it on their terms.'_He has no say in this. My Carrie how dare he call her that.' _He wanted to be able to calmly say goodbye, and convince her that toughing it out would be worth it. Carrie was growing tired of having to announce the fact that she wasn't anyone's but before she could even say it Fisher opened his big mouth.

"And who's is she? Your's? Should I leave her here with you so you can put her in harms way again?"

"Fisher." Carrie warned, she knew Kane was beyond his breaking point and the way Fisher was talking was not helping in the slightest.

"So you can use her and abuse her? What is she to you? To either of you?" Fisher glared at the old tag team.

"Well um to me she's her own woman, who got one heck of a mouth and one hell of a choice in friends-"

"Tell me about it." Kane scoffed.

"And someone who really cares about Kane. That's what I've gathered about you dude." Rob tried to speak kindly addressing Carrie, while truing to convince Fisher that he and Kane were good natured respectable people with morals and restraint. It was a mute point, none of that shone through Kane's crazed face.

"And you?" Fisher was standing as close to eye to eye with Kane as he could get. Kane had wanted someone to punish for days, and it seemed as if Fisher was begging for it.

"Fisher be nice." Carrie patted Olivia on the head and struggled to stand. She wanted to stand by Kane so he would know she was supporting him, and commending him for not killing Fisher with his bare hands. Rob took Carrie's hand and helped her to her feet. Carrie was in evermore pain as the time went on. She had be burned before, she had broken bones before but this felt worse, a hurt cocconed her body and she didn't know how much damage it was actually doing. Kane heard her guttural groan in pain as she tried to stand upright, at first he felt guilt again, but then he sensed a chance for redemption.

_'Here's your chance to not let her down To care for her, to protect her right.'_ But before he took one step towards her Fisher was six steps ahead of him.

"Sid, go fetch the car. Come on Carrie." Fisher threw his friend a handful of keeps.

"No." The guilt took a back seat, Kane wouldn't let them take her out of his sight and that wasn't negotiable. He wanted to keep her close, keep her safe.

"No what? No we can't take her to the hospital? No-"

"Maybe Fisher should take me." The hurt was growing overwhelming, she needed to leave. _'This was a mistake, I should've left I'm not that girl Kane remembered, she's buried within the ruble, the carnage. Who am I now? What am I now?' _Carrie felt even more alone with her question of identity. _'Everyone is so far away.' _She felt a lurching darkness creep in on her._ 'Even myself.' _Her breath grew shallow.

"I'll take her." Kane declared. "Carrie?" He saw the glazed over look in her eyes. Again his emotion changed, concerned overpowered anger as he tried to reach her side, but Fisher wedged himself adamantly between them.

"Who are you to take her? Who are you? And why do you want to hurt my-"

"Stop calling her that!" Kane took Fisher by the throat._ 'I'll get to Carrie one way or another. If people won't move, I'll move them.' _He lost all patience. But Fisher would not give up, not even to the tightening grip at his airway. He started pushing and punching at whatever part of Kane he could reach. It quickly spiraled out of control as they began exchanging blows, the exchange was nearly one sided. Kane only let go of Fisher's throat when Sidney started to pound his fists into Kane's back. Kane swatted Sidney away like an annoying gnat and commenced beating Fisher into the ground. Kane's knuckles dug hard into the bridge of Fisher's nose, an alarming crunch could be heard over the scuffle. Fisher stopped punching with his left hand, holding his nose to his face as if it was in danger of falling off. Rob tried to pull Kane but with no compliance it was proving to be a difficult task.

"When I imagined two people fighting for someone's affection, it was a lot more erotic." Janet spoke what came to mind, trying to ease the nerves of herself and her friends.

"You say that about . . . everything." The last word was a gasp barely escaping Lizzie's lips as she clamped her palms over her mouth. Fisher took another hard punch. Kane's old plan had been deserted, his new plan was to beat Fisher till he couldn't come between himself and Carrie.

"Stop it!" Olivia was off the bed and and deep in harms way as she rushed dangerously near the grapple. Everything was growing slow and shadowy but Carrie was still able to comprehend that Olivia was in danger of getting hurt. Carrie struggled with every step to make it over to the fight. She wobbled, she was going to pass out it was inevitable.

_'Just a little bit longer.'_ Kane could see Carrie shuffling her way over, and let Fisher go. The two men stood up, one in better shape than the other.

"Watch out!" Lizzie called out but it was too late. As Fisher regained his footing he stumbled and reached out for something to keep balance, he grabbed Carrie's arm she couldn't hold their weight and they toppled over, Carrie fell on her back and Fisher toppled onto her. He quickly rolled off of her when she let out a blood curdling scream. She turned over to her side, her legs curled inward as she pulled them towards her chest. She started hacking, her mouth tasting of copper. The pain was nothing new, but the state of mind, the onslaught of memories and attacks on her being threatened to consume her. Her mind was whirling, close to unconsciousness her head was no longer in the hotel room, safe with her friends, she was alone in the closet curled up in a fetal position, hearing the voice of her captor, she could feel his hands on her. She was lost in a nightmare.

Kane leaned down and scooped her in his arms, hugging her to his chest. "Breath Carrie, breath." Her face was frighteningly pale, her lungs aching for air, her breathing was panicked and shallow like a fish out of water.

"Let go of her! This is your fault!" Olivia kicked at Kane's hunched back.

"Olivia stop!" Fisher stated sternly, the fighting had to end, at least until Carrie was at a hospital getting treated. "Carrie? I'm sorry I'm so sorry. You'll be ok we're all here for you. you're going to be-"

"Fisher?" She could barely hear his voice. Her eyes were frantic, blinking and searching as her head slowly regained it's bearings. "Fisher? Kane?" She began to sob clutching Kane's arm tight, though her mind was elsewhere she could feel him close to her.

"I'm here it's alright." He hugged her as she cried, making sure not to hold her too tight.

"He's here Kane he's here! He's saying horrible things! He won't get off me. Stop!" Back into the nightmare she fell, in and out of reality she bobbed. Carrie began to flail trying to get away, wanting to run.

"Who?" Fisher became confused.

"He won't . . . ever again. I promise!" He tried to sooth Carrie before she had a psychotic break. "I won't let him." He leaned his brow against hers. He frowned seeing the terrified look in her eyes, he had seen that look countless times before, he had caused it more times than he could count, but not in Carrie, she 'perceived' no fear. Carrie was right, that girl was lost and Kane wanted nothing more than to find her. "Carrie are you scared of me?" He figured if she was going to get lost in memory, any memory would be better than the one she wallowed in now. He was rewarded when he saw the faintest hint of a smile in her eyes. She bit her lip before speaking, till her world stopped spinning and she was absolutely sure of her surroundings.

_'He's trying so hard to save me . . . from myself.'_ The smile dwindled. She hated that she had become such a damsel in distress getting in over her head whoever she went. Carrie panted as she tried to sit up on her own.

"Carrie." He shook his head, standing up still carrying her in his arms. "I asked you a question." He needed to keep her focused, needed her to stay coherent. "Are you scared of me?"

"Yes." She gave a soft nod. To the couple in that split second there was no one else there, nothing else, there was no guilt no pain just each other. "But uh . . ." She grasped at words, which was growing harder and harder in her delirious state. "Don't take it too personally, everyone is scary to me." She gave a weak smile. Kane went to open his mouth but it was Carrie's turn to shake her head. "I know. Stop doing that." Her eyes fluttered shut and then snapped open.

"Carrie I need you to do something for me." Kane's spoke slowly, managing to hold her with one arm he ran his fingers down her face as softly as he could. "Ok?" He waited for her to nod. "You need to stay awake."

"Stay awake?" Carrie found that request to be outlandish.

"Ok?" He asked again. With all the strength she could muster she brought her face to his and gave him a peck on the lips.

"I'll try."

"You'll be ok." He kissed her forehead, the monster was momentarily calmed. He studied every inch of her with his brooding eyes, from the top of her rust colored hair, down to a bruised cheek, past her burned arm, and ending at her shaky legs, she was safe but definitely not out of the woods. '_You'll be ok.'_ He tried to reassure himself that Carrie's body hadn't suffered ireprial damages.

"I thought . . . Sidney I'm confused." Fisher scratched his head, not able to comprehend this new somewhat docile side of Kane.

"This is weird. Big Carrie are you dating the guy with no eyebrows? Can I bring him to school. I bet none of my friends have ever met a real giant, ooh and you too." Olivia pulled at Fisher's pant leg while pointing between Kane and Rob. Olivia had no idea the gravity of the situation at hand, how worse for wear Carrie was.

"Olivia not now. Maybe you can bring Carrie to school when she gets home. Did you know she was almost in the circus. right Carrie?" Fisher tried to appease Olivia and get some kind of response from Carrie, but she was still more or less spacing out.

"Ok once you get better." Olivia nodded at Carrie.

"Home?" That word finally reached Carrie's brain, though she questioned it as if the statement was foreign to her.

"Carrie everything will be alright. Everything is over. If you want you can go back to wrestling in Oregon, leave all this craziness behind. Everything will be back to normal, things like this won't happen again." Sidney shrugged hoping that Carrie would understand it was the obvious choice, the safe choice.

"Dude talk about this later. She needs a doctor, like now." Rob interjected, not wanting this conversation to blow up into another fight. He knew Kane would fight tooth and nail for Carrie, and fighting was what had sent her reeling in the first place. '_They really fell hard for each other didn't they?' _Rob was amazed how close the couple were clutching one another.

"We should take her to a hospital." Lizzie agreed.

"Come on Carrie, I'll take you to the car." Sidney outstretched his arms, expecting Kane to hand her over.

"She comes with me to the hospital . . . then . . . then you take her home." Kane spoke through clenched teeth.


	16. Will you miss me?

"Kane . . . Kane I'm bleeding." Carrie stated with a sob, breaking the silence of the seemingly long car ride.

_'Kane I'm . . . I'm . . . Bleeding.' _Kane tried not to make the connection between Carrie's words and the ominous statement Katie had made all those years ago.

_'It's happening again.'_ He clutched the wheel tight._ 'Why is this happening again?'_

_'I told you they were the same.' They're both dead _The voice in his head always picked Kane's lowest points to speak it's peace.

"No." Kane shook his head, he couldn't lose it, not now. "We're close to the hospital Carrie." Kane wished there was more he could do for her, but he was helpless, completely helpless. Catching glances of her he could see how hard she was biting her lip to not cry and groan in pain. Taking one hand off the wheel he took her hand in his, he was shocked when he felt how cold she was. '_She can't stop shivering.' _Her hand was shaking involuntarily. "Carrie…"

" Inside." She blurted out, her eyes were thoroughly glazed over, her body was giving out on her. _'I knew my limit . . . I'm so far beyond it.'_

"What?" As much as he hated to he had to pull over, he was too concerned to focus on both her and the road, he had promised never to drive impaired again. _'What's happening?'_

"Kane I'm bleeding." She repeated.

"I know Carrie." _'But where?'_ He couldn't see any blood.

"Inside." She sounded like a zombie, her voice devoid of emotion of inflection.

"I heard you. You're bleeding . . . inside. YOU'RE BLEEDING INSIDE!" It finally clicked she was telling him short sweet and to the point that she was bleeding internally. "Carrie hold on ok? Stay awake." Previously he had been telling her that because he thought she might have a concision, but this was far worse. He didn't know how to deal with this, he didn't know what to do, he slid a hand over his head as he tried to think. As each second passed he watched as her eyes rolled up time and time again in their sockets, she was slipping closer and closer to unconsciousness. Moving into action Kane got out of the car he walked to the passenger side, opened the door, fumbled to unbuckle Carrie's seat belt and scooped her up bridal style.

"Ahhh . . .Ahhhk" She yelled out as she was moved, the yell turned into a hack, blood spewed from her mouth, she couldn't hold it back anymore the dam had broken. "I'm sorry." She noticed some of her blood had gotten onto Kane. "I'll pay . . . for your . . . your dry-cleaning." She tried to smile but it broke mid stride as she coughed and sputtered again. The blood had been building up for sometime, even Carrie wasn't sure exactly when it had started, it could have been a slow bleed over days, or a quick tear over hours, it didn't matter, her abdomen was surely saturated with blood. "Kane I'm bleed-" The coughing wouldn't stop, not even for the handful of words she was desperately trying to get out. When she got a second of relief she spoke again. "I'm cold." Kane barely comprehended what she was saying, taken aback by her mouth which was stained an alarming crimson. Kane placed her gingerly in the backseat of the car, tilting her head to the side so she wouldn't choke on her own blood. He stripped off his shirt and placed it over her, it wouldn't do anything for her temperature drop but it was all he had, all he could think of giving her. She nestled under the large shirt as if it was a blanket, the remnants of Kane's body heat coating her. Kane walked back to the passenger door and leaned in, cranking up the heat to it's highest power. He quickly returned to her side. "Carrie." When he didn't get a response right away he felt his pulse rase. "Carrie!" His voice boomed loud enough to stir her, Carrie's eyes sparked back to life. "Stay awake! Promise me you'll stay awake." He cupped her face in his hands as he leaned down to get face to face with her.

"Promise Kane." A weak smile curled over her tinted lips.

_'Even now.' _Her hollow smile made him more uneasy than usual.

"Kane?"

"Yes?"

"Will . . . will you miss me?" Her breathing unlike before was now shallow and slow, with small spurts of coughing in-between.

"You're not going anywhere." '_She's giving up.' _"Carrie, don't be an idiot you're going to be fine, I'm right here." He was growing more concerned, as she got paler by the minute.

"Why? Why are you letting me go like this?" Her hands went to her torso as a sharp pain pierced through it "Ugggh!" a burning hurt lingered after the initial shock.

"I'm not letting you go I. . ." _'I'm wasting time.'_ He closed her door and got back behind the wheel. "I'm not letting you go. Carrie I won't let it happen. If I have to give you every drop of my blood to keep you alive I will. I can't let you die, I won't, No more of this when I'm gone crap!" The tires squealed as they started up again. _'I won't lose you.'_

_'You already have.'_ The voice snapped yet again.

_'Stop it!'_

_'It's no coincidence that she'll die as you drive. Katie's replacement taken out by your impostor? Almost poetic.'_

_'She's not Katie! And she's not going to die!' _He was telling himself more than the disembodied voice.

"Then . . . you take her home. Sounded so . . ." There was a pregnant pause. "Final . . . it's over I can tell."

"What?" He struggled to keep his eyes on the road constantly glancing over his shoulder to the girl who appeared to be dying in his back seat. Another deafening silence was creeping through the car. "Carrie I want you to keep talking. I haven't been able to tell you to shut up in a week." He was trying to coax her into conversation. As long as she was talking she was living.

"Will you miss me when . . ." She dry heaved dramatically.

"I won't miss you!" He snapped. _'This isn't the Carrie I know, this Carrie is . . . just giving up.' _That was the only way to explain it, there seemed to be no fight left in her. Her next statement incapsulated that sentiment.

"Then . . . then" The constant stuttering was the result of her struggle to hold onto thoughts as the darkness around her moved inwards. "Then what's the point?" Tears spilled down her messy face.

"Keep talking Carrie." He reminded her. "I won't miss you because you're not going anywhere." He drove faster than the speed limit.

"Oregon." She choked out where she was in fact going but all that was audible was "Ore"

"Carrie you have to breath. Take big breaths." He punched the dashboard. '_Where is this god damn hospital. Breathing and talking won't do her any good if I can't get her to a doctor.'_

"Why?" She tried to sit up but couldn't and slammed back on the seat with a limp thud. "Why Kane?" _'You seemed so distant . . . when you said I could go home. You have no intention on taking me back. You know now don't you? What's laying in the back of your car isn't the girl you had known, you finally see the nothing in it's full glory.'_

"Carrie you never listen do you? Don't fall asleep back there! It's a seat not a bed, wait till we get you in a hospital bed to snooze! Miss mile a minute is getting quiet now?" He figured maybe if he riled her, she'd quip back, she'd stay awake, they weren't far now, he knew they could make it. He heard a half chuckle come from Carrie.

"Can't a girl get a break? I'm not feeling too hot." she still had a smile on her face as she stated the obvious. "I'll miss you when I go." She gave a labored sigh. "Kane you didn't let me finish the other day . . . If I don't see you again after they take me I want you to know I think. . . think I'd fall in love with you given the time you know?" Her muscles began to grow lax, things started to go black, she could still feel the car move but she could no longer see straight.

"Idiot you're not in love and you won't have to miss me you're going to be fine get it? You can't give up now. What was it you said.." He struggled to remember, struggled to keep talking. "Pain is just um . . . perception or something like that?" The sound of Kane's voice was growing distant and muffled. "Carrie?" He called out for her but she didn't respond. Pictures and words were whirling through her head but nothing stuck.

"Kane . . . I'm break. Sorry can't " She mumbled incoherently by this point. "Breaking my Promise. Will er . . . will you be there?"

"There? Where?" He could see the lights of the hospital.

"Will you be there when I wake up? I know you won't miss me. I know you want me to leave I know you won't" He head bobbed awkwardly. "Won't miss me. But please say you'll be there when I wake up? I promise I'll to stop smiling if you promise you'll be there." Her eyes continued to flutter.

"I promise alright?" Kane agreed hastily.

"We're here" She could see from her lying position the large building, she let out a relieved sigh.

"Just till we get to a doctor Carrie just stay awake a little longer." But it was too late, she couldn't hold out any longer, her body went limp as they turned into the hospital parking lot. "Carrie." He called out to her but this time he knew there'd be no answer. He shot out of the car and whipped open Carrie's door, then gently carried her out.

Leaving both the front and back door open he rushed through the emergency room doors. Holding Carrie to his chest with one arm he literally grabbed the nearest employee of the hospital, pulling the man by his shirt Kane demanded his attention. "She needs help, she keeps coughing up blood, she says she's bleeding internally get help now!" Kane growled, he couldn't believe Carrie was growing colder still, he had no time to wait in line, to sign paper work. Throwing the attendant in the direction of the hospital inner doors he brought Carrie closer to him, trying to warm her up. "Carrie I'll be there for you, I'll protect you better I swear. Don't leave me, don't leave me alone again." He turned and saw all eyes on him. "What the hell are you looking at?" What they were looking at was a seven foot tall shirtless man holding a bloody burnt and bruised girl. A stretcher came bursting through the double door.

"Sir place her down we'll take her now." As a nurse motioned for Kane to put Carrie down, he backed up a few paces, his protective nature had not curbed, he didn't want to let her into anyone else's hands. "Sir she need to get assessed immediately." She watched as with animosity he placed Carrie on the stretcher.

"She'll be fine right?" He looked over at her eyes filled with anger and concern, his shoulders rising and falling to the rhythm of his heavy breathing.

"Sir she . . ." The nurse asked carefully. " How long has she been bleeding? How did this happen?" She couldn't hide the connotation of blame.

"I wouldn't hurt her." He grabbed the arm of the stretcher stopping attempts for it to be wheeled away. "I'm not going to leave her." His grip tightened. "I'll be there when you wake up. I promise I won't miss you. You're not going anywhere." He practically shouted ay Carrie, who was laying there lifelessly. "If she needs blood . . . if she needs anything you come to me." He watched her nod in fear. As orderlies again tried to pull her away, Kane walked along side her.

"You have to stay here. If there is internal bleeding we'll need to take her into surgery quickly." The nurse pulled at his shoulder. "We'll let you know if she stabilizes-"

"When she stabilizes!" He snapped. "I promised her that I'd be there when she woke up and I won't let her down again." He shrugged out of the woman's hold and continued walking. Carrie began to twitch, a bloody foam forming around her mouth. As her condition deteriorated further he couldn't help but thick what would happen if Carrie did die.

_'Just like Katie.' _The voice showed no sign of going back into hiding.

"Shut up! Shut up! I've had enough of your shit! You don't know anything. You don't know . . ." He stopped when he realized he was shouting aloud. "I'm not crazy!" He spouted, but he didn't sound convincing. _'She can't die. She wouldn't leave me. Carrie is a fighter even if she's given up, it's in her nature to fight.'_ He grimaced as he watched a tube being snaked down her throat, extracting blood. She looked so hurt, if she wasn't involuntarily thrashing you would think she was dead. He wanted to help her but with all his strength, all his determination there was still nothing he could do.

_'All you can do is hurt, destroy Kane, that's all your good for.'_

_'I'm a monster, she wouldn't be in this hell if it wasn't for me.'_ For once he agreed with the voice in his head.

"If you don't stop right now-" A male nurse grabbed the wrist of the hand Kane had locked on the stretcher. Kane let go only to grab the nurse by the throat. "Get an officer in here!" He gasped. "Get him off the grounds!" There was a stale mate for a minute or so Kane only let him go when he saw Carrie being wheeled off. Kane tried to get back to her side but three security guards and an EMT had ran to the call, they began to pull him out of the hospital.

"Get the hell off me!" Kane was throwing elbows fighting tooth and nail to get back to Carrie.

"Dudes have a heart. Let him go. Kane's just upset . . . and he's not so good at expressing his feelings." Rob ran over to the scuffle. "Please. I promise we'll keep him under control." He pleaded.

"I said get off of me!" Kane demanded, finally strong arming his way free. Kane went to throw a punch at a security guard.

"Kane!" Rob yelled, stepping in between Kane and his soon to be victim.

"Move!" Kane panted.

"What are you going to do then huh? Wait for Carrie from a jail cell after your arrested for assault? Seriously dudes" He turned to the men who had dragged Kane out. "That's his girlfriend in there, you can't blame him for going a little crazy right? What if that was one of your girlfriends? Just let him stay here in the waiting room, I'll watch him ok?"

"Sit." One of the guards pointed at a seat in the waiting room, by a group of familiar faces, all with looks of dread on their faces. "Sit or we take you all the way outside." He warned.

_'Are you going to let some mall cop push you around?'_ The voice prodded. Kane rubbed his forehead, still wanting to fight, still wanting to go back to Carrie. He pushed Rob out of the way.

"Kane!" But he was unheard by the big red machine.

"You don't tell me what to do." Kane had a threatening tone in his voice as he approached the guard.

"I understand you're under a lot of stress. That's why I'm giving you the chance to stay. But right now I'm TELLING you to sit down!" There was now relenting on the part of the man who was in charge of keeping the peace. Kane's fists were clenched his blood boiling.

_'Shut him up' _the voice beckoned.

_' I promise I'll try to stop smiling if you promise you'll be there'_ One of Carrie's last statements rung in Kane's ears. Begrudgingly Kane stepped away and stood by Carrie's friends.

"Phew." Rob let out a large sigh. "See no problem. Leave it to Rob Van Dam to neutralize a situation." He gave a large grin and a pat on his own shoulder. Reluctantly the men retreated.

"Keep him under control." The vocal guard scowled.

"Under control? How the hell do you-" Kane began to advance towards him again.

"Got it." Rob gave a thumbs up, again standing between Kane and security. "Dude where's your shirt?"

Kane never did sit down, he just paced across the floor, glaring holes into the tiles. "So . . . how . . . how does she look?" Janet asked quietly.

"Dead." Kane snorted. At that one word everyone's eyes grew large.

"What?" Olivia shrieked, she had no concept of how bad Carrie's injuries had been, to hear that her friend might be dead was too much for the young child to handle. "No!" tears started to flow.

"Let's go for a walk Liv" Fisher lifted his daughter from her seat, sneering at Kane as he took her away from the group.

"Was she in pain?" Sidney asked, that question sent Kane off the handle again. **'Pow'** Kane punched the hospital wall, the thick material did not break with the first punch, no cushion against Kane's fist.

"She was coughing up blood. There was so much blood! She was crying, she was in so much pain. I couldn't do anything." He punched the wall again, cracks started to form, over and over more chipped away, every image of Carrie that flickered before his eyes preceded a punch. Even after a hole pierced through he didn't stop, even when his knuckles grew raw, even when his whole hand began to throb he didn't stop.

_'Why is it her in pain?'_ He was beginning to see red. _'Why didn't he come for me? Why couldn't I save her? She could die on the operating table she could-' _Blood started to drip out of his hand, his nails digging straight into his palm.

"Hey hey stop it!" Rob tried to pull him away, Kane turned around and without any thought he punched Rob in the face, knocking him to the ground. Kane stopped himself before attacking Rob again, he was sweating, breathing like a maniac, he closed his eyes tight trying to regain some shred of sanity.

"I didn't mean to." Kane huffed, looking over at the destroyed wall, it looked as if it had been hit with a wrecking ball. _'How many walls now? Have I destroyed over her? I would've normally taken that out on someone's face.'_ He looked down at Rob. _'But she had kept me in check, helped me keep some control.'_

"Good thing you're not in your right mind or you'd be in one of those hospital beds." Rob grunted as he stood, rubbing his now sore jaw. Kane shrugged, part of him felt a hospital bed was what he deserved, that he deserved to be the one bleeding inside out not Carrie.

_'She didn't deserve any of this. And I didn't deserve her.' _He leaned agains the door he had destroyed.

"Coughing up blood? I should've known." Sidney frowned._ 'This is bad.'_

"Should have known? What do you mean by that?" Kane spun to face him.

"I didn't see any bruises like that, no real signs. I should've checked." Sidney sighed.

"Signs? Signs of what?" Kane lifted Sidney by the nape of the neck. "What would you have check for? Why didn't you tell me about it before we left? Maybe I could have done something to help her instead of-"

"Telling you wouldn't have stopped the bleeding idiot. Nothing would've stopped it, but if I had checked, I would have insisted to leave sooner." Sidney cringed as Kane began to squeeze harder on the back of his neck.

"Checked for what? What is wrong with her?"

"She" Sidney paused. "She made me promise not to tell." Sidney did his best to shake his head.

"If she dies because you didn't tell the doctors what's wrong with her what good is your promise?" Lizzie tried to convince Sidney to betray Carrie's trust.

"And if that happens I'll kill you. And that's a promise." Kane had a vapid, frightening tone to his voice.

"She . . . Carrie has aplastic anemia." Sidney murmured, Lizzie gasped.

_'She might die!'_ Everyone else wasn't quite sure what that meant.

"She's loosing her hair? What does that have to do with anything?" Janet tilted her head to the side.

"That's alopecia. Aplastic anemia means her bone marrow doesn't produce enough blood cells."

"And that mean what? Like to this scenario. " Janet still didn't get it.

"She's got a low platelet count, and that means she bruises and bleeds easily, and the bleeding is hard to stop." Lizzie had gone on and off to school for nursing, and had a vague knowledge of the disorder.

"When were you going to tell us?" Kane snapped at Sidney, he began to drag him towards the front desk. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"No one but my family knows. She was worried, they wouldn't let her wrestle if anyone knew that she gets hurt so easily." Sidney still felt bad telling anyone.

"Why didn't her friends know?"

"Remember . . . she just wanted to be normal."

"Talk." Kane threw Sidney into the desk, he watched over as Sidney explained Carrie's condition.

Silence lingered for another hour or so, Kane was lost in thought debating something internally, out of nowhere he pulled Sidney aside. "Listen. Carrie should be happy and safe. She needs to go home."

"We already knew that moron."

"I said listen." Kane leaned down eye to eye with him. "You're so good at keeping secrets, hear this and don't tell anyone alright?"

"I don't keep secrets from Carrie, I'm her friend not-"

"Fine, I'll tell you anyway, you do whatever the hell you want with it." Kane leaned in ever closer and broke the news to Sidney, keeping everyone else in the dark.

"Why?"

"Because I need-"

"You are the people who brought Caroline Lories here?" A doctor broke up the secret conversation. The doctor stopped and noticed Kane's bloody hand. "Would you like someone to bandage that? I could-"

"Where is Carrie? I want to see her, I want to talk to her." Kane cut him off. _'I want to say goodbye to her.'_

"She just got out of surgery, we stopped the bleeding but-"

A/N: This is last chapter from Damaged goods, so from here on out it's all my ideas, hope it goes o.k.


	17. Stalemate

"But what?" Kane was impatient.

"Some of her organs are inflamed. We need to make sure that doesn't progress further. How did this happen? Whatever caused this can't be repeated, if an organ bursts the damage could be terminal." The doctor explained.

_'Terminal. She could've died.'_ Kane let the thought sink in.

"Her organs could have burst?" Sidney was wide eyed._ 'If I had checked earlier she wouldn't have been in so much danger.' _

"We need to keep her here for observation until the swelling goes down, but I think she will make a full recovery."

"Can we go see her?" Lizzie ignored the doctor's question.

"She's not awake yet."

"That's not what she asked. Where is she?" Kane demanded, he'd go searching on his own if he didn't get answers soon, he'd open every door in the hospital if he had to.

"Is she in danger?" The doctor looked over Kane who looked as frightening as ever, he had wiped off Carrie's blood, but still looked deranged and intimidating to say the least.

"Not as much as-"

"It's a long story dude. But we have it under control, the cops probably have the guy who did this locked up, it's all cool."

"It's not cool. Not till I break his neck and pummel him in-" Kane's wrath could not be quelled.

"Like I said . . . under control." Rob nodded.

"So can we see her or not?" Sidney was also loosing patience.

"She's upstairs room 426" The conversation ended right there as they all sprinted towards the elevator.

The group pushed and shoved their way to Carrie's room, opening the door there was a collective wave of relief. '_She's not as pale as before.' _Kane walked over to her bedside and put a hand on her forehead. _'She's not as cold.' _Short of her bandages and bruises she looked good as new. No tube down her throat, no seizing, just motionless sleeping.

"How long till Big Carrie wakes up?" Olivia and Fisher had found their way back to the group. There was a stand off, Kane and Fisher were staring each other down.

"That's a great question small child in the room." Janet chuckled nervously trying to point out his was neither the time nor place for a rumble. "Lizzie you know this stuff how long?"

"You shouldn't be here." Fisher started up his fight with Kane again, without Carrie there to explain to him that she really wanted to be with Kane, Fisher read a book by it's cover and thought poorly of the monster.

"Give it up dude." Rob tried to nip this in the bud before Kane tried to break Fisher's nose again.

"I promised her I'd be here when she wakes up. She wants me to be here. So shut your god damn face." Kane's nose wrinkled as he tried to brush Fisher off and ignore him.

"She doesn't know what's best for her she-"

"And you do?" Kane pulled a chair over by Carrie's side. _'Just ignore him.' _He shook his head trying to convince himself that was best.

"You've only known Carrie a month I've known her for years!"

"Do you two share a brain." Kane glared between Fisher and Sidney. "You two keep saying how I don't know her like you do. I've only known her a month-"

"My Carrie is-" Fisher pushed that same button.

"Call her that again! Call her that one more time!" Kane held the arms of the chair in a death grip. _'Ignore him.'_ "Just leave me alone." His shoulders hunched.

"You giant oaf you don't get it! Carrie shouldn't be with you, she should-"

"You don't think I know that?" Kane huffed.

"Huh?" That was not the response Fisher was expecting.

"She shouldn't be with me, of course I know that! I always did. Now drop it!" Kane left the room speechless.

_'What does he mean by that? Then why doesn't he bow out of this fight?'_ Fisher was still puzzled.

"You can stop competing now." Kane refused to look at Fisher.

"Whose competing?"

_'If you actually cared about Carrie you wouldn't be trying to snatch her away while she's laying in a hospital bed._' "You just want her because you can't have her. Carrie isn't just forbidden fruit." '_He won't touch her. Not while I'm around.'_ "She's not a conquest!"

"What the hell are you talking about? You're a nut. Babbling like an idiot."

"I know people like you, just competing to prove you can have whoever you want. Carrie isn't supposed to be with me, but you're just as bad for her. I won't let you use her like that. Now stop talking to me. Leave me alone! Just everyone shut up!" Kane was about to blow.

"Remember Dad, The man with no eyebrows is dating Big Carrie." Olivia stated what Fisher refused to acknowledge.

"I can make her want to be with me again. We were in love once. Olivia love beats everything thing else just like in your books."

"Were." Janet pointed out. "Fisher let the dream die ok? We won't go into details but . . . you love a lot of people. Because of that we know she doesn't, and will not love you like that again. Hell Sidney wouldn't let you." She gave a small chuckle. All eyes on Sidney he shrugged and nodded.

"Kane's finally right about something. You're both no good for her." Sidney mulled over the secret Kane had told him earlier, if Fisher knew maybe he'd back off a bit. _'Should I tell him?'_ But Sidney kept tight lipped. Fisher scoffed and walked to the other side of the room.

"Soooo" Rob was scratching the back of his head, the tension in the air was thick. "Lizzie how about that time approximation?" _'Hope it's soon.'_

"Well um around like three hours, more or less." Lizzie ball parked.

"Bummer." Rob leaned against a wall waiting time for pass.

"Here." Sidney had gotten on a food and drink run and handed Kane a cup of coffee, it had been a long day.

"Finally warming up to me?" Kane scoffed, only taking his eye's off the bed for a moment.

"Going away present. Not burying the hatchet, but you know whatever . . . it's a cup of coffee relax."

"You relax." Kane rolled his eyes. _'These Oregon people really are fanatical about their coffee.' _

"A thanks would be nice." Sidney hinted. Kane chuckled. "What? Is that too much to ask for?"

"She can smell it."

"What?"

_'She moved, I saw her sniffing around for that coffee. Not even induced unconsciousness will keep her away.' _Kane gave a flash of a smile._ 'She'll be back to her old self soon.'_ "Get Carrie a cup? Maybe I'll thank you for that one."

"You're an impossible man."

"So I've been told." Kane shrugged hoping to see Carrie move again.

Another hour or so passed before Kane's hopes were rewarded. "Ahhhh!" Carrie let out a shriek as she came to.

"Carrie!" Janet cried out jumping to her friend's bedside.

"Kane! Kane I'm bleeding!" Carrie shouted. "Aggggh!" She groaned looking down her hospital gown she saw a fishbowl sized bruise on her abdomen, covered by an ugly looking scar.

"You're not bleeding anymore Carrie, you're fine. You're safe." Kane rose from his seat, he saw Carrie writhe slightly in residual pain.

"Big Carrie!" Olivia was about to climb up the bed but Fisher snatched her. "You're not dead! Your boyfriend said you were dead." Olivia tattled on Kane.

"I didn't say that!" Kane barked.

"Dude chill, you need to learn how to be more child friendly." Rob smacked a palm to his forehead. '_Hopeless.'_

"Child friendly." Kane muttered under his breath at the ridiculous statement.

"I was right!" Lizzie exclaimed. Her time table had hit it's mark.

"That I wasn't dead? Glad you never lost faith." Carrie's face had melted from panicked to lighthearted.

"No . . . I mean yeah I knew you'd pull through but that . . . oh never mind you're ok and that's all that matters." Lizzie gave Carrie a gentle hug.

"I didn't think you were going to die." Kane insisted.

_'That's a lie.' _The voice poked.

"At least one of us kept our promise." Carrie smiled. "You're here. I was worried."

"You thought I wouldn't be here? Did you think I had better plans?"

"Carrie a hypothetical-"

"Fisher I've been back to the world of the living for mere seconds and you're already throwing hypotheticals at me?" Carrie laughed, again she had to hold her stomach. "Ow" She whined.

"Don't over exert yourself over this moron." Kane put his hand on top of hers.

"Your hands are warm." Carrie smiled.

"You were so cold, an ice cube would probably feel warm to you."

"Nah, you're always like a furnace." Carrie remembered the feeling of one of Kane's hugs. _'warm . . . always so warm._'

"Ahem." Fisher coughed into his hand.

"Right. Hypothetical shoot."

_'Self centered ass.' _Kane grimaced.

"Hypothetically, if I Fisher Correll, asked you for another chance-"

"No." Carrie replied flatly.

"You didn't even let me finish." Fisher pouted as if he was Olivia's age.

"Ok finish so I can say no again." Carrie waited patiently. Kane couldn't help but grin at Fisher's failure.

"Thirsty?" Sidney stuck out the coffee he had been saving for her. "It's probably cold." He shrugged. "I'll get you another cup when-"

"Coffee? I was dreaming about coffee!" Carrie quickly snatched the beverage chugging quickly.

_'Maybe he knows her better than I gave him credit for.'_ Sidney glanced at Kane. _'Still an Asshole though.' _He reminded himself. "Carrie I have the something to tell you later. Remind me."

"Wait till your home." Kane knew exactly what Sidney had to say.

"Ooook" Carrie felt left in the dark.

"What?" Kane could see a questioning look in Carrie's eyes.

"I um . . . do you know where he is?" She said in a tentative tone.

"It doesn't matter where he is. I'll find him, and I'll destroy him!" Kane was determined, he hoped the police didn't find his nemesis before he did, he wanted to punish him far worse than any judicial system could. "He wont hurt you again."

"You'll take care of him I know it." Carrie nodded. " I'll go back home for now." She had finally decided. "Then I'll come back when he's gone" She stated with authority.

"When I know you'll be safe, you can come back." Kane nodded, he leaned down and kissed her forehead, running his hand over her hair, Fisher seemed physically disgusted.

"Boy you're a sore loser." Janet punched Fisher in the arm.

"Haven't lost yet." Fisher mumbled

"How long do you think I will have to stay here?" Carrie questioned everyone looked at Lizzie.

"Night school not Yale, I'm not a doctor." Lizzie pointed out.

"Devoid of any complications I would say you'll be released by next saturday." The actual doctor popped in.

"Ugh" Janet let out a bothered sigh.

"Saturday. That's the day before Vengeance." Carrie noted. "Right? That's sunday?" Carrie was fairly certain she knew the date.

"Dude I'm sure they can take Kane off the bill under the circumstances." Rob didn't want Carrie to worry. "That dude's probably in jail by now anyway."

"Not if I know Vince, entertainment is more important than the law." Kane knew that from experience, he himself had done some less than legal acts. "Saturday you go home alright? I don't want you anywhere near the arena."

"If we sit in the audience-"

"No. Go home." Kane would not waiver from this demand. "Now I've got to go back to the hotel."

"What? You're leaving?" Carrie had a bit of panic in her voice.

"I need a shirt." Kane pointed out the fact that he was still half naked.

"Oh." Carrie hadn't really thought about it. "I bled all over it didn't I?"

"Like a geyser." Kane nodded. "You said you'd pay for the dry cleaning." Kane laughed.

"Really?! She was bleeding and you're going to-"

"Call off the dogs of war Fisher, it was a joke." Carrie shook her head. "What is your major malfunction?" _'Does he still not trust Kane?' _"Sidney look at what you've created?"

"It's not my fault Kane got you tangled in this!" Sidney seemed not nearly as fanatical as Fisher.

"Was it your fault?" Olivia was confused and figured she'd ask Kane outright.

"Yes." Kane shrugged. "But I'm going to fix it." He glared at Fisher.

"Big Carrie's not lost anymore it's all fixed duh!" Kane was about to open his mouth but Rob stopped him.

"Child friendly!" He insisted. Kane rolled his eyes.

_'I'm not a clown.'_ "You" Kane pointed at Fisher.

"I have a name!"

"Don't even bother." Janet stated flatly. "Kane still doesn't call us by our names. If you're not Carrie you're just . . . You."

"You're not important." Kane again shrugged.

"You can be a real douche canoe sometimes." Janet scoffed.

"So I don't murder you in front of your daughter." Kane didn't even notice Olivia gasp as he addressed Fisher again. "I'll watch her at night. You can stay with her during the day."

"Fine." Fisher just wanted Kane out of his face.

"Wait before you go." Carrie motioned Kane closer.

"What? Are you alright?" He studied her face to see if she was in pain. _'Do I need to call a doctor?_' But his concern was short lived, he smirked when he saw no pain in her face as she craned her neck upwards for a kiss. He met her halfway. Everything was as close to normal as it had been in quite sometime. _'This is right. This is how things should be.'_ He lingered against her. "I'll be back soon." He stated in a calm manner when he finally pulled away.

"Promise?"

"You can't just take my word for it? I always have to promise?"

"Fine I'll take your word for it. Go shirt up before every girl in the tristate area starts giving you the once over."

"Yeah that's what you have to worry about." Kane gave a small laugh. '_Now she keeps talking.' _He walked out.

"Dude!" Rob chased after him. "What's up? You made it such a big deal to be with her and now you're peacing out? I'll go out to the big and tall store and get you a shirt."

"I need to focus. I can't keep getting angry like this." Kane gave a heavy sigh. "I promised her I'd be there when she woke up and I was. I promised her I won't let him get to her again and I won't. "

"So you're going to hang out with her when she's sleeping? You know that Fisher guy is capitalizing on this right?" At this Kane's feet stopped. He turned around and opened the door a crack, sure enough Fisher was leaning over the bed trying to console her. "Told you so!"

"Sidney will take care of her. I'll be back, I need to breath, too many people. I don't know or care about a single one of them. She needs protecting the most during the night, she can't even protect herself when she's awake, let alone when she's sleeping" Kane shook his head. Though his confidence in Sidney was not overwhelming. "Keep your distance!" Kane opened the door and startled the group.

"Just go idiot!" Fisher snapped back.

"Fisher you're going to need to respect Kane. People didn't like you all that much when we dated but-" Carrie went to defend Kane but was short to the chase.

"Who?"

"Ahem." Sidney lifted his hand.

"See it's not just you Sidney didn't like!" Lizzie tried to give Kane a sideways complement.

"But anyway. They gave youth benefit of the doubt. They cared about me, so they accepted you. Now you're my friend and I love you. But you're going to have to respect the fact that I'm with Kane and-" Her face soured when she was cut off again.

"But you shouldn't be with him. He even said so!" Fisher had a come back at the ready.

"What?" Carrie looked over at Kane, shocked.

"It would take too long to explain." Kane felt himself getting angry again. _'I knew this would happen.'_ "I need to go."

"You want to be with me right?"

"Yes." Kane was trying not to say much, not feeding in to Fisher's taunts.

"Then that's all that matters." Carrie had no intentions of dropping the matter, but she would wait till the room was less crowded, she wanted a conversation not an argument. Kane made his exit a second time.

"It was nice meeting you. Remember save the date." Rob waved goodbye.

"July twenty first. Got it." Carrie gave a thumbs up.

"Do you want me to come back with you later tonight?" Rob was trying to be supportive of his one time friend.

"I'm not sure if I'm going back." It was Kane's turn to not know what he wanted, where he wanted to go.

A/N: a short filler chapter cause . . . much like Kane I don't know where I want to go with this story.


	18. Ghost of car crash past

Rob had tried to talk sense in to Kane, but they separated at the parking lot, Kane emphasizing it would be in Rob's best interest to leave him be. _'I need to be alone.' _Getting in the car he looked into the backseat seeing the dried blood smeared over it's surface, it made him physically ill. '_How did it get to this?'_

_'Because you never listen.'_ The engine turned on and so did the madness. '_I told you this would happen. You ruin it. You always ruin it. Katie survived by the skin of her teeth, and she's still not out of the woods. Did you see that hideous scar you caused her? She must resent you for that.'_ Kane could remember every inch of Carrie's skin, he could see beyond the scar beyond the burns beyond the bruises, but could Carrie?_ 'Doubtful, she doesn't blame you . . . she's moping to herself, she remind me of Eeyore.'_ Kane just continued to drive, he didn't head to the hotel, he just drove aimlessly through the city._ 'So are you done? Have you finally given up? You finally realized that there is nothing and no one you are able to protect?'_

_'Oh I'll protect her. There is no way he is getting to her, be sure of that.' _Kane was adamant. He had told Rob that he wasn't sure about seeing her but that was a lie, he had every intention to see her, every intention to protect her, he just didn't know what he was going to do beyond that, was their short lived relationship still the same now that he had so greatly let her down?

_'How? You haven't been able to this entire time. Her organs are injured Kane, she's burnt. You lost in a big way and so did Katie.'_

"Her name isn't Katie!" Kane shouted at the top of his lungs. "Why don't you get that?"

_'Because it's not true. She is Katie, and you know it, you just won't admit it, because that makes you a bad guy. And you don't want Katie to think you're a bad guy do you?' _Kane couldn't deny the similar images of Carrie and Katie cold and bloody in his arms, as much as he'd like to he couldn't ignore the erie similarities.

"She already knows that! She already knows I'm a monster, She knows I'm not a good man!" When Kane spoke the now infamous words: "She shouldn't be with me, of course I know that! I always did!" That's what he really meant. _'There's a reason the monster never gets the girl, even a freak of a girl. Because monsters can't be . . . gentle . . . can't be safe. She would have both of those things if she wasn't with me.'_

_'Don't worry, Fisher will take VERY good care of her.' _It's impossible to win an argument with the voice in your head, it already knows the worst of what you're thinking. _'What? You planned on leaving her, dumping her, and she's just supposed to remain forever alone? Fisher is biting at the bit, he seems like a stand up guy.' _Kane felt jealousy burn within him. _'Unless you plan on stoping that somehow.' _

"He needs to know his place." Kane's muscles were tensing, thoughts of Fisher kissing Carrie flooded his head. It wasn't night yet, no matter how tired Kane felt, he couldn't go to her, he couldn't check on her.

_'Don't wait for your turn, make it your turn, take what's yours! You're a monster, be a monster!'_ The voice jabbed. Kane was beginning to agree with the voice, he wanted to protect Carrie, not only from the impostor but from Fisher as well. '_She belongs to you.'What's left of her.' _Kane shook his head. _'Katie is yours, she always has been and always will be!'_

_'She's not mine, and she sure as hell isn't Fisher's.' _Kane took a sharp right, he knew where he was going now. _'I won't lose her again.'_

_'You've said this all before Kane. It hasn't worked before, what makes you think this time will be any different? you said you wouldn't let her get hurt again but hell every turn she takes, she gets hurt. More trouble than she's worth.'_

"Because this is my last chance, before Carrie leaves, before however long it takes for it to be safe with me. I won't screw up this time." Kane drove faster still, a new determination bloomed within the conflicted freak.

Carrie was beginning to yawn, the earlier blood loss had led her to a new level of fatigue the cocktail of medications was not helping the matter._ 'Just a little while longer. He'll be here soon.' _She stared out the window. '_It's getting dark out. Where is he?'_

"Listen Carrie." Sidney got her attention.

"Yeah what's up?" Sitting up she could see Sidney's brow was furrowed, he seemed torn about something.

_'Damn it why of all people did Kane trust me with his secret? I hate the bastard I don't owe him any loyalty.' _He grimaced, looking around he saw everyone other than Carrie and himself were asleep awkwardly in their seats. _'Ew Lizzie is drooling.'_ He recoiled slightly.

"Sidney!" Carrie waved. "Earth to Sidney!"

"Yeah um." Sidney didn't know how to say what he wanted to explain. "When Kane said he knew that you two shouldn't be together." He paused. "He just meant um . . . maybe he thinks that things aren't the way they should be and he was-"

"Is he going to break up with me?" Carrie gave a heavy gulp before crashing her head back on the starchy hospital pillow._ 'I was right, I've changed and Kane can't deal with that level of baggage. He's protecting me, because he feels that he owes me that much, but our relationship-'_ "It's over isn't it? You can tell me." Carrie's voice cracked but her smile remained, tears started to collect, but still her mask staid glued to her face.

"What did you do? Why is she crying?" Kane had opened the door only seconds before.

"Idiot back off!" Sidney stood from his seat._ 'I'm trying to fix your mess!'_

"Huh?" Janet was jolted awake by angry voices.

"You didn't answer my question." Kane walked towards Sidney with intensity. "Why is she crying?"

"Kane we-" Carrie tried to speak up but was cut off.

"Get out." Kane gave Sidney a shove. "Wake up." He took Fisher's skull in his large hand and shook the man violently.

"What the fuck?" Fisher nearly fell face forward out of his chair. "What is your problem?" Fisher barely got those words out before he was yanked by his scruffy hair to his feet.

"Language" Carrie sighed.

"Carrie are you crying?" Fisher wiped the sleep from his eyes.

"Are you deaf?!" Kane would not be ignored, Fisher's hair still in his hand Kane began to pull him towards the door.

"Off Off, get off me!" Fisher yelped, kicking and screaming like a child.

"Dad!" Olivia woke up to her father's pleas. "Why do you keep hurting my dad?" Olivia had a shrill tone to her young voice. To Kane it was equivalent to nails on a chalk board.

"Because." Kane let go of Fisher and began to tower over Olivia.

"Kane!" Carrie sat up to the best of her abilities, her heart skipping a beat.

_'Take no prisoners.' _The voice again filled Kane with terrible thoughts.

"Kane!" Carrie called out again. Finally he stopped his advance.

"Because you father has no respect. Someone better teach you, that monsters . . . are to be respected . . . to be feared." He backed away from the child. "Now I've been patient-"

"This is patient?" Janet scoffed.

"Get out!" Kane shouted yet again.

"Ok ok! Lizzie, wake up we got to go." Janet nudged Lizzie who had managed to sleep through all the bickering. In short order they began to file out of Carrie's room.

"What's this?" Lizzie held up a bag by the floor. Kane opened his mouth to bark again but was beaten to the chase.

"We know, get out!" Janet waved her hands sarcastically in the air.

"Kane have you gone insane?" Carrie couldn't believe that Kane might have attacked Olivia.

"What is that supposed to mean?" _'Is that a joke? Going insane? I've been insane.'_ Kane was still agitated to say the least.

"You could have hurt her!"

"She's not my concern." Kane shrugged.

"She's just a kid!"

"I . . . I'm not child friendly."

"Just be careful ok?"

"I'm not careful either." He shook his head. "Why were you crying?" He hadn't forgotten what had whipped him in to the frenzy to begin with.

"Sidney started telling me that things between us were . . . He basically gave me it's not you it's me speech."

"Sidney is an idiot!" Kane scoffed. "Doesn't know what he's talking about." _'Idiot.' _Kane repeated to himself.

"Are you breaking up with me?" She asked meekly, trying not to well up again.

"No." Kane stated bluntly. "I'm not breaking up with you . . . just trying to make thing right." _'Haven't figure out how yet.'_

_'You're a screw up.'_ The voice nudged.

"Oh." Carrie nodded. "So what's in the bag?" She smiled trying to move on from the ever growing awkward conversation.

"Stop . . . here." he lifted the bag choosing not to pick a fight again over Carrie's smile, Carrie laughed. "Huh?"

"You can't get me waffles every time you think I'm mad at you." She peered into the bag.

"Fine, give it back." He went to reclaim the gift but Carrie pulled them out of the way defensively.

"Exactly. I know how bad hospital food is." Kane smirked, he leaned over and kissed Carrie on her forehead.

"Thought you didn't do hospitals?"

"Sometimes people don't ask you." Kane finally sat down, resting his face in his palm. "You know that." He frowned.

"You didn't get any sleep." Carrie noted the exhausted look on Kane's face. "You need some rest. I know you didn't sleep while I was gone. They didn't let you did they?"

"They?" Kane questioned. "Sidney and the others wanted nothing to do with me."

"The voices. You're on edge more than ever. They've been tormenting you haven't they?" Carrie was concerned, he seemed as though he would snap at any moment. His eyes looked so heavy and drained.

_'Tormenting? I've been keeping you company Kane. We finally had that quality time we needed.' _Kane was wincing, fighting himself not to scream out loud.

_'Why won't you leave me alone?'_

_'You need me Kane.'_

_'No!'_

"Kane!" Carrie had to keep calling out to him, to keep him at least on the fringe of reality.

"Eat." He motioned at her waffles. "Before they get cold."

"Cold waffles are better than none." Carrie grinned opening her food. "I missed you." Carrie spoke between bites.

"I . . . I'm glad you're ok." '_I'm glad you're alive. I missed you too oddball' _He let out a gasp. _'Not again.' _He saw Carrie's face morph into Katie's.

"Kane everything ok?" She saw the closest thing to fear in Kane's eyes as she had ever seen. Kane rubbed his knuckles into his eyes, blinking feverishly.

"He won." Kane let out a sigh not enlightening Carrie to the problem at hand. '_She won't go away.'_ Carrie didn't change back, it was still Katie in front of him, he didn't even hear Carrie, her voice had been warped in to Katie's. Kane looked away from the mirage in front of him.

"What are you talking about? I got away, it won't be long before I'm back to new. If you get some rest soon, you will be too." Carrie was unsure what was going on.

"He wanted me 'unhinged' and I am . . ." He almost said Katie's name. "Carrie, my mind is coming undone." He squeezed his eyes shut. Sitting up gingerly she reached out and grabbed Kane's hands in hers.

_'That skin.' _His head snapped towards her. "Carrie." It was finally her again. Her face could change, her voice distort but her skin was distinct.

"Yes?" Carrie wished he would let her in, let her understand the struggle he was going through in his mind.

"I won't win at vengeance." He sighed. _'Past my prime.'_ He knew by sunday he wouldn't be one hundred percent.

"You'll beat him." Carrie gave his hand a squeeze.

"I will." He griped her tighter. "I'll beat him in to a pulp. Beyond recognition." His breath quickened._ 'This madness will help me. I can push my emotions aside. Carrie is the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can't even see straight right now. All I can think of is destruction. I'll destroy and then work on rebuilding later.'_

_'Rebuild? There's never been a rebuilding bone in your body.'_

"But Carrie I'm tired . . . I'm so tired." Not just the day, not just the week, the last month had been wearing Kane down._ 'I'm tired of being tired.'_

"Take a nap, I know the chairs aren't comfy but-"

"I'll wait." Kane shook his head. '_ I need to keep a look out. I can do this, I can keep her safe till saturday.'_

"You're stretching yourself too thin." _'He's destroying himself._' "Even machines need time to cool down Kane."

"That doesn't matter." Kane replied sluggishly. "I won't win at Vengeance, I know I won't but that rematch-" He got back on topic.

"Rematch? You're going to fight him again?"

"I'll fight him as many times as I need to, till he can't stand, till he can't move a finger, till he feels my pain. He picked the wrong person to play mind games on. He should have learned that from his dad."

"His dad?"

"I know who it is, I am ninety percent sure I know who he is." Kane's teeth were grinding slowly. "Diamond Dallas Page's son." Kane scowled. _'Dallas went after Sara years ago. Like father like son.'_ Dallas had stalked the undertaker's wife, back when the brothers of destruction were on speaking terms. "Make him famous." _'His dad would say that too.'_ "He wants to be famous I'll make him famous, his gravestone will be famous as anything." Kane by this point was growling each word out.

"All in due time." Carrie nodded._ 'It's all he can think about.' _She had a concerned look across her face.

"You don't think I can do it do you?" An already frustrated Kane misread her expression.

"Kane not like this, not bloodthirsty and crazed, you cant be expected to wrestle in this state. I'm worried about you Kane."

"Don't" Was his short answer, only then did he notice Carrie was squirming in her bed, that her face was contorting mildly. "You're in pain." Kane grimaced, it was his fault she was hurting.

"The nurse will come soon. They've been pumping me full of drugs all day, I'll be fine." Carrie had a ambivalent smile on her face.

"How can you brush this off like it's no big deal?! Carrie you could have died!" He watched as her face grew white.

"I don't want to think about it ok? I just want it . . ." '_I just want to pretend it never happened.'_

"It's all I can think about! You're telling me to sleep? How can I sleep when I know I let you down! You could have died and-"

"Stop saying that!" Carrie shouted, she began to well up. "Please just . . . no more." She wiped her eyes. "Can't we talk about something else?"

"I" '_Idiot now you made her cry. _"I'll go get a nurse for you. Yell if you need me." Kane propped himself out of his chair, groaning as he stretched.

"Poor baby chair's too small?" Carrie couldn't help but chuckle.

"Story of my life." He was willing to crack a smile. "Everything is too small. I'll be right back ok?" He didn't want to leave her, but he needed a minute to get his mind off the now taboo topic of the previous few days.

"I'll be here." Carrie nodded reassuringly._ 'He's going to kill himself over this.'_ She sighed, it read all over his face that he was unrelentingly beating himself up over this. With one final look back Kane walked through the halls.

"You can't do it Kane." A hand was on his shoulder blade.

"Huh?" Kane spun around, he had to rub his eyes again, it was Katie. '_But it's not. It can't be. Who is it?'_ "What do you want?" He took three steps back.

"I want you to be happy." Her voice was distant but distinct. He remembered those words, she had told him that before she died. He shook his head hoping she would disappear.

"I don't have time for this. Leave me alone." He resumed his walk, this time taking larger strides. Kane stopped dead in his tracks when he felt a warm hand wrap around his. Against better judgement he turned around, he was shocked by what he saw. _'This hasn't happened before.'_ He still saw Katie, but not as he wanted to remember her, this time she was covered in blood, mangled like she had been in their last moments together.

"You owe me this." Tugging on his hand she pulled him off his path, he blindly followed her, not even noticing where they were going.

"Katie I-"

"Don't worry Kane everything will be ok. Just trust me." They continued walking, it barely registered wit Kane that they continued straight out of the hospital, he was simply bewitched.


End file.
